TTC

Trying to conceive is rather soul destroying. I know there are people out there who get pregnant their first attempt and I'm very happy for them. Those who don't have to think about it much are very lucky. Those that met their significant others when they were younger, and so have less problems, they are very lucky.

I was not ready to either get married nor have kids in my 20s. I may have been ready in my early 30s. But I know that I got married at the right time, to the right guy. And now we're trying to conceive with me at the ripe old age of 39. I know that there is a good chance that it won't happen. And so every month is tough.

We are charting, we are timing our intimate moments and with each AF (period) I die a small death. It's really hard.

In the big picture, it's not a huge thing. We can survive without having children. We're very lucky in our lives. And yet, we'll be sad if it doesn't happen.