Money, money, money. It's a rich man's world.

R's parents asked if we'd be willing to have some sort of ceremony here. Noooooo! I just did not need that sort of stress. Cause what this means is that we won't be able to just have a small little drinks night with friends...it means we'll have to figure out how to have a wedding here for a very small budget. It may mean that we have to have a sit-down dinner. And it means that I can't invite as many people as I'd like. Ugh!

But we're not sure what they mean by this and whether they'd be willing to pay for something. Cause R & I just won't have a ton of money to put toward another whole wedding.

We're still going to have a drinks evening...we'll probably have it at the hockey/cricket club. We'll just put some money behind the bar and tell people that drinks are on us until the money runs out.

Now the whole reason that R's parents are asking for this is that his dad probably won't be able to make it to the wedding due to ill health. He can't travel easily. So I do understand why they want this. I just hope that it's doable and not too much expense for us. We still have to finish paying for the wedding, a honeymoon to pay for, I'm the matron of honor for my best friend in June...it's going to be an expensive time.

A Message from the Future

This was previously posted on the Grrrll Genius board on I-Village, but I kinda liked what I wrote. We were all writing letters to our younger selves...and this is what I wrote:

Dear L. at age 20,

I know you were a late bloomer and so excited to get into the game. But don't be afraid to let go of someone just because of your fears of 'dating'. Dating is a great way to figure out what kind of person you want. And you don't have to go out with anyone again after a first or second date. It's okay to say, "Sorry, this isn't working for me."

A lot of the time you'll be worrying about whether or not someone likes you. But the bigger question you should be asking is, "DO YOU LIKE HIM?". Really, it's so much more important. What do you like about the guy? What don't you like? Would your dad get on with him? (Cause really, dad has good insights on this stuff).

Don't worry if you are not in a serious relationship by 30. You're still learning about yourself and learning to make good decisions about guys. Oh, and if a guy tells you that he's cheated on a bunch of his past girlfriends...believe him...he'll do it to you too!

Enjoy your time on your own. It's a great way to learn about who you are. And seriously, you get to eat what you want, when you want. Celebrate it and enjoy your girlfriends. They are much more important than any guy.

Be excited because you'll learn to take risks. Sometimes they'll bomb, but that's okay...you can survive! And you'll have lots of cool stuff to look forward to. While you'll make some mistakes, as long as you learn from them, they're okay.

Self, you can deal with pain. Really difficult pain. And it makes you stronger and more capable. So bring it on! Don't live your life in fear of emotional pain or you'll lose a lot of LIFE.
That's it self. Oh, and begin to eat healthier and enjoy being fit. It gets harder as you get older.
Finally - be you. YOU are wonderful. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Love ya!
Your older, slightly wiser self

Planned Out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ugh! So much has been done so far in regards to the wedding. I felt almost done. And then the reception over here was brought up. I thought I could have something nice and simple. Perhaps a cocktail hour - some drinks, some friends. But R and his parents have something more in mind. And yet, I, the planner of the US wedding, seem to have to plan this one as well. So it means that I need to find a venue that will serve not only drinks, but the possibility of a sit-down meal too. And then there's the question of who is paying? I think it's us. But with the wedding expenses, I don't see how we'll have a wedding party over here for around 80-100 people for the amount of money I want to spend and the type of party they seem to want.

IT'S FRICKIN' STRESSING ME OUT!!!

Tonight, R. will actually be home to talk about these things instead of going out to play football or be with the boys or with his parents (who complained that I wasn't there last night amazingly enough). And I will communicate my stress. And then perhaps we'll be able to have something a bit less crazy. And less expensive. Unless his mom & dad want to plan and pay for it all. Then go for it. But there's a lot of people to invite. It's just a fact.

Brainless

I know. It's been a while. I just haven't felt any creative spark as of late. I think the weather turning to cold, the demands of the end of a semester (grading and figuring out grades) and a fiance who can't sleep very well has all taken it's toll. I even had to take a sickie yesterday.

But I've gotten just about everything done. Grades are in and onward. I wrote a college rec for a kid. Did my attendance. Taught my class. I only have to make a quiz for the next class. And that's it.

Boring, eh?

On the positive side, I did go out this weekend on Saturday with a bunch of women from work. Two of them are new this year and one came along around the end of my first year. Very nice and lots of fun. We went back to Ealing Street to do threading & waxing stuff (not for me), and just to look around. Then off to dinner for dosas, which are kinda like a filled pancake. Mmmmm! It was so much fun! And good to connect with some new people without talking shop at all.

Another good thing is that I seem to have my groove back in hockey. While we lost on Saturday, 2-1, I have to say that I made some awesome saves. The goals against me were worthy goals - the first was in a one-on-one with moi (stopped the first attempt but not the second) and the last (very frustratingly) was in the last seconds...I made an amazing split save which hurt like the dickens (that's how hard it was shot), but a person got the rebound and flicked it over my leg. It was frustrating as we were definitely playing well. They just got the luck.

So overall the weekend went well. And I'm feeling a bit better. Still lacking a good thought process (poor kids), but trying.

Cha-cha-cha-changes

I have always had kinda crazy eyebrows. Not out of control once I started plucking them, but they'd definitely end up all over the place if something touched them.

I wanted to get them shaped, but hated the thought of wax near my eyes. Heat, burning...yeah, not really a good idea. So I kept away from the idea and just attempted to do my own. I'm sure it looked fine, but just not 'groomed'.

Yesterday, I went with another teacher to meet up with the Admin Asst. to the High School Headmaster. She just went on maternity leave and so wanted to get out of the house. We met in Wembley and then took a bus to Ealing Road...it has a very South Asian feel to it with sari shops, Asian food stores and jewelry shops featuring 22 ct gold.

As we were looking at bangles and the like, our colleague mentioned that there was a small salon where she typically got her eyebrows threaded. Now, I had heard of this but wasn't quite sure about it. She then mentioned that it would cost between £2.50 and £4 to get it done depending on where you went. Wow! That's CHEAP. So both the other teacher and I decided to try it out.

It didn't really hurt. A bit of a sting at first and then fine. And it was quick...5 minutes max. I came out and I had much smaller brows. Instead of the comma, I had a single line of approximately the same width going across my forehead. I looked like I had them 'done'.

I definitely see a difference and I'm not sure my face is meant for dainty eyebrows. But I'm letting them be. Seeing what I think. Maybe I can carry it off. We'll see. But it's making me want a skinnier face...perhaps that will be the motivation for me to eat better...need to see cheekbones to fit the eyebrows. Hah!

The Look of....

I didn't mean to do it. Really. It was something that just happened. And if you happen to be the guy who I gave "The Look" to...I'm sorry.

"The Look" is something that I used to always fear in high school. A teacher would turn it on you and that would be it. Toast. What I didn't realize is that it is something that is bequeathed to you upon teacherhood...that it comes with the territory. I thought I'd never get the look down...that kids would continue on in my classes in bliss, never feeling the blistering heat. But no...it came. And it works. I imagine that "The Look" will come in handy if I also have kids of my own, though maybe that 'look' is something slightly different...perhaps parents are given a different style to use.

So this morning, as I'm getting off the train, a guy is pushing from behind. But I don't give it another thought as it's a packed train and someone else is probably pushing him. But when the same guy tried to push his way in front of me to get up the stairs, I guess I gave him "The Look"...cause he stopped, looked a touch shocked, and let me pass in front. I didn't mean to give him the look. Didn't realize that it becomes part of the non-school functions...but it certain worked.

So. Yah know. I take it back. I don't apologize to the guy. I was in heels. And no one should try to push a woman out of the way just to be one step on front. He deserved the look more than most of the kids in my class (though not all). Beware people of London...The Look could get you too! ;-)

Welcome

Yesterday was one of those days that you don't think will ever happen but it does. For the past year and a bit, since R. told his parents that we were seriously dating and then engaged, they have waged a war against me. Things have slowly gotten better, but I never imagined I'd be welcomed the way I was quite yet.

I was invited to the house (yes, their house) to meet his mom's brother. We arrived, had a drink and chatted. Then lunch was served. It was great! His mom is a wonderful cook, and has made a prawn (shrimp) curry and a spicy pasta dish. Mmmmm! The conversation flowed. I actually had some fun!

At the end of the meal, before we took off to go grocery shopping (had to get out or we'd miss the shop hours), his mom presented me with a few things. First was a long gold chain. It's not something I'll wear a lot as it's not my style or length. But I'll always wear it around her. And then a cute gold ring...it is in a flower pattern with the petals having small diamond chips and the middle a dark stone. In addition, she gave me a pretty blue top (I'll wear it with trousers I think) and a red shawl. As a friend said this morning...'I'm in'.

And the question is...

Last night was the annual quiz night at the hockey club. I decided to head out as I needed a night out. R. decided to stay at home. Secretly, I was happy, as I haven't gone out without him in a while. And later on, he told me that was one reason why he didn't go out. We are on the same page, aren't we?

Now, having only lived in England for 2-1/2 years, there are many questions that I typically can't get. For example, as soon as I heard that one of the topics was going to be kiddy shows, I knew I was out on a limb. But our team consisted of 2 Brits, 1 Canadian, 1 New Zealander & me, so we figured we were covered.

Suprisingly, I got the first question right. Who is the Minister of Education who recently was in the news for sending her son to a private school? And having read the news and watched the news over the past year, I knew the answer...which is below... A few other areas I was good in were the food and music categories. Quite happy I have to say! I felt like a contributing member of our team.

We didn't win or even place, but we also didn't end up last. Out of 14 teams, I believe we were 8th or 9th...not too bad for our lot, team name: Draggin' (we were tired as it was our first game that day).

And to make the day even better...my hockey team won the game on Saturday! '2-0' was the score. I had a 'clean sheet' in the goal and did quite well. Not being modest at all - I rocked! Yup, it was a really good game against a good team. Very pleased to start off the year so well. Hopefully, we'll be able to keep it up.

Answer to first quiz question: Ruth Kelly

There be gold in these here parts!

I ordered my wedding jewelry online yesterday. The pictures are so pretty that I'm hoping that they'll turn out to be at least close to as nice looking in person.

While I'm not naturally a yellow gold person due to my skin tone (white gold and silver looks best on me), I felt that with the dress having yellow gold thread through it, that I ought to stick with yellow gold.

So I found some 22 ct yellow gold plated jewelry (fully 22ct jewelry was well out of my budget)...and bought it.

I think the colours will go perfectly with my outfit and with the plunging neckline will look awesome in these jewels. No they aren't true rubies, but red crystals. But I'm okay with that...if I was wearing a white dress I wouldn't expect diamonds on my neck either!

So here's to hoping! I'll let you know when they arrive...they do have to make it through customs (and so far my packages from the US have not arrived!!)

I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow your curl away

I hate wind. While the weather has been quite warm over here for this time of the year (especially at night where the lows are in the high 40s and 50s...warmer than in July), it's just darn awful windy.

Why is it a problem? Well...when you have long curly hair there are a few:

1. You can't see at times. The hair in face makes it tough to see the traffic zooming toward you. So life is a bit scary.

2. Hair in mouth. Never a good feeling or look. And it doesn't taste so good.

3. Curls get blown out. Yes, I have fine curly hair, so it means that my curls easily lose their curl...be they under a cap or pulled back. Wind, for some reason, seems to pull the curl out. So instead of my pretty spirals, I have this mass of random curly bits, wavey bits and straight bits. Interesting.

I've tried the pulling back of the hair, but that doesn't work as I have all these little bits of hair all around my face that seem to never grow...so I end up looking like I'm wild...hair sticking up everywhere. Not pretty. At all.

So...wind. Wish it would go away. But it's not gonna. Sigh. I hate not being in control

Joiner

I joined the I-Village Community Challenge to lose weight. Now, every time I try to lose weight I tend to actually gain it. I think I rebel against the idea of a diet and purposely sabbotage myself. Not sure why, but it seems to happen. But this time I have a goal and purpose - wedding and honeymoon (bikini thoughts are very motivating!). I'm still kinda anti-diet, but know I have to change something as I get older or I'll just keep gaining weight.

So - little steps. Writing down what I eat on the community site. Adding comments to the blog. Feeling more responsible for what I do. So we'll see. I'm weighing myself tomorrow - Wednesdays seem like a good day to do it...Mondays are too, Monday-ish. And that will be my beginning point. It's less than 3 months to the wedding and 5 months to my beach honeymoon...my goal is to lose 1/2 pound a week (very doable) so that by the time I head to St. Lucia, I'll be 11 lbs lighter...and maybe more? We'll see.

And then I want to keep it off. That's why this has to be slow and has to be doable for life. I'm not giving up wine or chocolate or carbs. But I can eat a bit less, exercise a bit more (that includes walking more places instead of busing it or tubing it. Little steps. Small steps. I can do those. I can.

Holy moly change of direction!

R. came back from going to his parents for lunch yesterday and told me all about the conversations that he and his parents have been having about our wedding/marriage. There have been some movements on their side in a VERY positive direction...

1. If health permits, then they both want to go to the wedding. Serious. Wow.

2. R's mom offered me her wedding sari to wear. I already have my dress being made...but isn't that cool?!

3. R's mom also wants to give me some jewelry but thinks that her good stuff might be too dated. She then talked about getting it melted down and made into something else. Wild.

4. They are potentially going to host a gathering after our wedding here. At a resaurant or bar. For friends. Sweet. (they have no clue how many people would want to come so they might bulk at having to pay for it all...but as we were planning on paying for something like this, it'd be nice to have some help!).

5. The family wants us to go to India...and so we're looking at heading there to meet his family during the winter holiday time. It'd be great to head back to Delhi again (though cold) and I'd get to check out Amritsar (Golden Temple) for the first time. Cool!

So things are a-changing with my future in-laws. Quite a turn around from only one year previous. Crazy.

Haa haa, hee hee

Laughter. It has such restorative powers. It seems as if people don't have enough time in their lives for fun, for laughter, for much more than work and stress.

Last night R. and I went to bed, lit a candle and just talked. We like doing that often. But last night, for some reason, turned into a giggle-fest for me. I just couldn't stop. And best of all, R. began to laugh too. We just went on and on. It was great.

Laughter is the best medicine. It's true. It was such a connecting force for the two of us last night. We felt so intimate. Laughing brings people together. It's lovely.

I have blogged for almost one full year. I began on January 11th of last year. It's amazing that I've kept it going so long. I was so bad at doing a diary - I'd write a few things and then nothing for ages. I think that 203 entries in one year is not so shabby...while some of the info is probably boring for most people, I enjoy going back and reading about what was going on just a few months prior.

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It's Friday and I'm a bit tired. And it's all my fault. I went to see Wicked at the Apollo Theatre in the Victoria section of London. It was amazing!

I left work at 4:00pm and took the bus down to Victoria Station. It was an easy ride - much better than the tube as I had a seat and didn't have to move...plus I got to read my book. I don't get enough time to do that... I decided that since I had a bunch of time before I had to meet with R., that I'd do a bit of window shopping and errand running. There's a few places to go outside of Victoria station so I had fun. I checked out boots and shoes at Clarks (so comfy), black jackets at Zara and the lovely outfits in a variety of other boutiques. I did spend some money...got my night creme and razor blades at Boots. I found R's favoriate cream at the Body Shop and got myself a yummy smelling bit of lip goo. And finally I bought a book about Paris and a French-English dictionary for our trip to Paris in Feb (only one month and one week away...can't wait!!!) as well as a diary (day planner) for my work bag. Not bad for one afternoon!

Wicked itself was amazing! The singing, the explosions, the movement. It's something you have to see if you are in London or NYC!

ABCs

What have you learned lately? Do you use your brain regularly? It's something that I thought about recently...what do I do that 'works out' my brain?

I have one kid I work with who doesn't see the point in school. She's not loving her classes, her friends are usually unhappy & she doesn't like that...basically there's not much going on that is positive in her life. And so she's moving onward in a negative light. But her question about why is school important was interesting to me. I know that I didn't take as much advantage of high school and college as I could have. There's a lot of interesting things you can learn. But it's not all fun and so, what's the point? But to 'work out' your brain is a good thing. Even if it's not something you want to use later in life, your brain still benefits from learning new things.

So this year I'd like to learn a few new things. Perhaps I'll learn some Hindi so I can talk to my future inlaws in their native language. Maybe I'll learn new words and become better at crosswords. I don't know quite yet what I'll learn, but I think as I age, that I really need to challenge myself to think and remain flexible in thought.

So...what's one thing you'd like to learn this year?

Nothing

It's back to work time. And it's tough. Yes, I know, I can't complain as I did have a long vacation...but I would have loved just one more day to be totally on my own and relaxed. Yesterday was spent doing a ton of cleaning, running errands, etc. I did some relaxing, but...well...just not enough. While I like being active, I also can appreciate a full day of doing nothing taxing.

Yup. Nothing.

Now, I don't want to do nothing all the time. It's quite boring to be on your butt for days on end. Believe me. I had to do that once. I had knee surgery and for about one week I was stuck between my couch and my bed. And after a while, daytime television and reading just don't do it!

But one full day of complete and utter no thought, no movement...mmmm...that is lovely.

The good thing is that I have another vacation in about one month and one week. It's a good break as everyone is thoroughly sick of winter by then and we need a time of fun...or at least sleep...by then. The first day or so, I'm sure I'll be cleaning and doing laundry or running around getting stuff. But on that Wednesday, while R. is at work, I'll read, watch a movie and a bit of bad television. Yup. That's the plan. And then we'll head to Paris on Thursday, which I'll be ready for as I'll have had my 'nothing' sort of day.

So...what do you do to unwind? Are you able to do it? I know some people just can't appreciate the art.

Resolutions

Do you have any goals for this year? Any resolutions?

Mine is to learn how to eat healthier this year and to make it taste good too. To try to bring R. on board with this. To enjoy getting exercise in whatever form it takes. To be a good partner to my honey.

So what about you?