Obsession

I consider myself quite a level-headed person. Someone who can see beyond hype and not get to crazy over most things. After we got engaged, I told R. that I wouldn't go crazy over the wedding. That I wouldn't become a 'bridezilla'...and I don't think I've gone that far. But I will say that I'm surprised at the slight obsession that I've started having about the wedding.

I have a lovely red binder that holds all my organizational info. I have places for our budget (we're on target so far), a timeline (behind in some things, ahead in others), pictures of everything one would include in a wedding, etc. And I look at it every day. No, there's nothing new in the folder, but I still look at the pictures. I look at the possible flowers that I could use...here's a few examples:



But that's not all I look at. I also look at hair styles and Indian outfits and confetti...etc, etc, etc.

And then I go on those wedding websites, like The Knot or Brides. And I read about what everyone else is doing or has done...and I look at their Bios. And then I worry that my wedding isn't enough. That they're doing all these cool things that I'm not doing. And mainly it's cause I'm not willing to spend as much money as these women. I'm on a budget. And I don't have $25,000+ to spend on a wedding. And in reality, I wouldn't want to. But there's a bit of jealousy going on. And I hate it.

The hype to spend in weddings is huge. There are ads and cool pictures and wedding websites and t.v. shows. And they don't show the simple things that look great...they show the big events. And so, even if you don't want it to, it makes you feel like your wedding is going to be inadequate.

A wedding ought to be about the gathering of friends and family to celebrate the marriage of two people. It ought not be about what colours you're using, or having the perfect favour that everyone will probably throw away...but for even the most level headed of us, the details sometimes get in the way.

I look forward to my wedding day. I hope to have fun, eat and drink, look pretty and have a good party for everyone. But I don't want to go into my wedding day all stressed out. So I'm going to have to pull back from looking at my binder and at those websites. It's time for a wedding planning breather. A saner approach to life.