30 November 2006

Naughty, naughty!

I went out on a SCHOOL NIGHT!

Yes, even at the age of 37, I still get a secret little thrill about going out during the week.

My parents never let me do that when I was in grade school or high school. I'm almost certain that it never happened. Maybe once. But I definitely was not one of those people who were allowed to go to concerts or movies on a Thursday. It was a school night.

Now, of course, once I hit college, all bets were off. I went out on school nights all the time. It wasn't really a great idea as it killed some of my grades. But I did have a ton of fun! And I did go out once in a while during the week when I was in grad school...but this time my grades did not suffer at all.

But once I was in the working world, it was back to going to bed at 10pm (love my sleep) and giving up some social functions.

The next few weeks I'll be going out quite a lot. 'Tis the season. But going to a MOVIE on a Wednesday night...one that STARTS at 9pm...now that is decadent for me. (And yes, I'm paying for it this morning!)

I went to see DejaVu last night. I know it's out in the US, but the movie isn't slated to come out to every theatre over here until Dec. 10. Someone dropped off a bunch of special invites a special opening show in London and I was able to get two. So R & I went out to dinner in Leicester Square and then on to the Empire Theatre for the show. It was packed.

The movie was okay. Not great. But definitely rentable. So I had fun. And wasn't able to get to bed until midnight. Now, note that I have to get up at 6:30am, so midnight is really pushing it for me! But it was worth it!

Woo hoo...goin' out during a school night. Aren't I the bad girl? ;-)

28 November 2006

Growing up is hard to do

Because I work with teenagers, I'm constantly reminded of how I felt during that stage of my life. And sometimes it's a time that I don't want to remember at all. While it wasn't horrible, it was also not easy. Like most teens I just didn't know who I was or how to figure that out.

I start off in high school looking VERY young (and this doesn't change at all throughout the 4 years). Even though I'm one of the oldest there, I probably could pass for pre-pubescent. I had barely developed (no boobs) and was just getting out of the age when I thought playing 'kill the man' was totally cool. I was a serious tomboy - more into sports than anything else. But at the same time, I had grown a sort of fearfulness. Not sure where that came from. At one point I had been full of fire, but somehow lost it in those middle school years.

I wish it had been an era where being sporty was really cool - here at my school, the talented sports chicks are 'it'. Yes, there are still some that are seen as geeky (which I was), but overall talent is celebrated.

I was a teacher's child at a private school (part boarding, part day). We didn't have hardly any money. Especially compared to most of the kids at the school. It was one area that kept me apart. And then there was just being the kid of the school counselor. Everyone thought I'd be the one to 'tell on them'...to be a 'rat'. But that wouldn't have been my style. But I was considered square, and so never invited to parties.

With all of this going on, I developed into a quite shy young woman. I hid in black while also pushing myself out front by getting funky haircuts. There was still some fire hidden within & it showed in being as alternative as I could in this preppy school. 'Pretty in Pink' pretty much sums up what it felt like to be in school on some days, though I didn't win the coolest prepster guy at the prom.

I think my situation fed into my being introspective. I thought a lot. I thought about who I wanted to be...did I want to fit in (yes, kinda), did I want to be a professional (yup), did I like who I was (well...not sure). I tried on all sorts of guises throughout high school and college, trying to see which 'hat' would fit the best.

After I left high school, I decided that working on the shyness thing would be better than focusing on grades. I had done very well for myself and ended up at a top rated university where I was playing varsity hockey. I knew that the next thing I needed was to develop my sense of self and some esteem. And so with the help of the numerous books on my dad's shelf, I built myself up.

I came out of college still unmolded...but with a better sense of who I wanted to be. And I've kept at it. Still growing, still changing, but not as much. My dress sense is still a bit different, though I tend to wear more preppy clothing with more than a touch of black. I still have fun with my hair, though that tends to be more restricted to the colour and not the cut. I still think a LOT.

High school was interesting. There were moments when I wasn't sure I was ever going to make it through without losing it. And I hope that my memories help me be a better counselor. The interesting thing I've found through my work though...something I wouldn't have imagined back when I was 15...is that every kid, even the most popular, have a similar sense of just not fitting. Not as much as I did. But every kid had their moment of a loss of faith in themselves. A worry about not being enough. Some hid it better or handled it with more grace.

As I head closer and closer to my 40th birthday (my 38th is next month), I feel like I'm back to that place where I had to make lots of decisions about my self. Who do I want to be as I head toward middle age? If I become a mother, what sorts will I be? And if I don't, how will I define myself then?

I think at every age, it's possible that self-exploration is a need. In my teen years it was all about where I wanted to fit. My 20s were all about who I wanted to be when I grew up. My 30s have been a bit easier, as I've accepted my life, my body and the person I am still growing into. But it's a time that once again I need to look within.

27 November 2006

The holiday season is a comin'

So I surived my first day back at work after the holiday. I have to say, getting up was VERY difficult. All I wanted was to just stay under the duvet and snuggle up with R. But alas, I couldn't do it.

The weekend was such a ton of fun. There were parties, hockey matches, lots of wine and much sleep. Bliss.

Now I can't complain (though I'm sure I will) over the next three weeks as I'll be getting another holiday starting on the 15th of December. We have a half-day at work and then I'll be heading out to the airport to head back to the States.

My first week back in PA is almost fully booked. I arrive on Friday night. Saturday morning I have a manicure (nooooo complaints there), then my bridal shower. It'll be a load of fun - my sis-in-law is hosting it at a 'tea room'...oh, so very British, my dear. Then Sunday will be filled with going shopping (crazy pre-Christmas danger). Monday through Thursday is just filled with appointments for florists, hair, Indian wedding dress shopping, DJ, photographer...as I told my step-mom, I will be in need of much wine. MUCH!

23 November 2006

Thanksgiving in the UK

10am - do the finishing touches of cleaning of house...focus on bathroom as it truly needs it!

Noon - make giblet broth

12:30pm - dice onion & garlic for soup; saute; place in slow cooker

1:00pm - put liquid and pumpkin into slow cooker

1:40pm - make stuffing

1:50pm - dry out turkey & season

2:00pm - stuff turkey, preheat oven

2:15pm - put turkey into oven

3:45pm - change heat on turkey (un-tent)

5:30pm - make cranberry sauce (homemade)

6:15pm - change heat on turkey (re-tent)

6:30pm - peel potatoes & chop up; cut carrots

6:40pm - bake camembert

6:55pm - cook potatoes; remove camembert & put on table along with other cheeses & crackers

7:00pm - cook carrots; add cream & spices to soup

7:15pm - remove turkey & let sit

7:25pm - caramelize carrots; mash potatoes, make gravy

7:30ish pm - sit down, grab a glass of wine & enjoy! Hope that friends & R. enjoy their meal...but if not, there's plenty of wine!!!

21 November 2006

Cold (for England)

Brrrr....Today was the first day when I truly felt the need for gloves, a scarf and my big ol' woollen jacket. It's COLD. Not just cold. Not just cool. But bone chilling damp cold.

London doesn't really get too cold. Not like Boston cold or NEPA cold. But the damp cold after a long period of quite reasonable temps feels frigid!

If I had straight hair then I'd even go out and buy a cute hat to wear. But with my curls I'm stuck hatless (unless I want to look like a complete dork at work with tons of frizz and curls astray).

(Well, I know I'm a complete dork already, but why prove it even more?!)

It's the kind of day that makes you think of snow. One that reminds you that winter is almost here. A day where it's sunny and you just want to be all bundled up in your warmest wear...walking through the woods and looking at the stark beauty of leaveless trees. It's a day for hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps. A day for a lab to run after a tennis ball, joyously comfy in her warm coat of fur. Perhaps even a day to think about Christmas shopping.

Brrrr...shoulda worn trousers.

20 November 2006

Gift registry

Woo hoo! Why am I so happy? Well...I decided to check out my online wedding registry and guess what? Someone bought something!! We're getting a new set of towels. I'm quite pleased. (Can you tell?) And truthfully, it's made the wedding much more real.

The reason someone bought us (ok...I was thinking 'me') a present already, more than 4 months before the wedding is that my shower is taking place on December 18th. I'll be heading back to the States for my last hurrah (aka planning, buying, etc) before April. And so now people will start buying me stuff. Us. Sorry R.

And it's cool!

That's all.

19 November 2006

Plans

10 stone, 6 lb.

It was a good weekend. Though a bit busy.

Friday night we had our end of season dinner for field hockey. I had put together a power point of pics from the season. We gave a ton of certificates away and a few awards. The kids and parents had a really great time. As did I. They are so sweet. And the parents gave us some really nice presents. I got a bunch of fragerant flowers, some chocolates and gift certificates for Selfridges. Very generous! The coaches then all met out at a pub after for a few beers. I left a touch early as I wanted to see R. and didn't want to drink much.

Saturday we were meant to have a hockey game. But our oppo decided that the pitch wasn't safe and they walked off. The fact that other teams played there with no problem... Not a good moment. I guess we'll be playing them later in the season. I think they just didn't want to play us - perhaps no subs, or just didn't feel like it. It was stupid! And then I did a bit of umpiring. Let me tell you - boys whinge a ton when they play sports. A lot more than women do! Later that night I went to the hockey club for a social. The theme - Chavs and WAGs. I dressed more like a Chav than a WAG, but it was kinda fun irregardless.
Here's the outfit:
  • lots of bronzing powder. I looked like I lived for the tan. R. hated it. Hee hee! And lots of makeup...LOTS
  • a very, very short jean skirt
  • a tight black low cut shirt on top of a red bra
  • knee high black boots

Yeah...kinda slutty. But then again it seemed as if everyone was innit.

Today, Sunday, was a mix of relaxation and work. Woke up late. Sat around for a while. Vaccuumed. Went out shopping with a friend as well as ate dinner with her. Came home and did some painting (wall not picture). A good day. And now I'm waiting for R to get back from seeing the new Bond movie.

As you can see..a not so bad weekend!

17 November 2006

Bridget Jones, here I come!

So last night R. got to see me cry. I keep talking about wanting to lose weight, but I've done nothing about it. I go one day or two and then the resolve breaks down. And I have to say that R. doesn't help as he brings in fatty foods and has an excuse not to go to the gym.

I tried on a pair of boots last night that I haven't worn since last year. I've always had trouble with boots due to muscular calves and these were a bit tight last year...but I can't even zip them up, not even close...it was so disheartening as they are VERY expensive and nice boots. It was the last straw I think. I made me realize just how much weight I've gained this year and that it has to stop. I can't keep thinking that I can do things in moderation. I don't work that way. And I'm getting older which means cutting back on certain foods for my health. I just have to do it. I'm the type who gains most of her weight in her belly, which is not good for heart health.

So. Once again. I keep saying it. I keep not doing it. But I'm going to. I have to. I not only want to look good in my wedding photos, but I also want to be healthier and fit. So it begins. Today is step one. And each day will be a step.

I may post every day how things are going. I'm going to have to finally weigh myself regularly. It may be the only way I can do this.

16 November 2006

How do you 'do' your mornings. Since I was young, I've gotten ready for school or work in the same manner. It's hardly ever changed, even with living with someone now. And I can't imagine doing anything differently though I suppose if I ever have a kid then it'll change dramatically. What a shocker that will be.

So here's my morning:

6:30 am (this has changed over time depending on commute & time to be somewhere)
I get up straight away with the alarm. Some days I'll actually wake up before the alarm (like this morning I woke up at 6:26). Or just the sound of the cd player will do it. I'm a light sleeper so almost anything works as an alarm. And I've always been this way. I tried once to do the 'snooze', but I just didn't see the point. I might as well sleep as long as possible and then just get up.

6:32 am
I get into the shower. I like my showers to be quite warm but not hot. With having rosacea it's a good idea NOT to have too hot a shower so it's perfect that I tend to like it that way. I'm not one for hot weather or very cold weather. London is perfect for me as it's so moderate.

Every other day or so I'll wash my hair and then condition and then use my red hair stuff that's supposed to keep the colour. On some days I'll do deep conditioning. I shave EVERY day. (perhaps TMI?).

Once I get out, I put on my body & face moisturizers and then do my hair. Leave-in conditioner, mousse and a serum to add body (love Tigi). I never, ever brush my hair. Only the big comb for me and only to get out the tangles.

6:45 am
Head out to the living room in my robe and pj bottoms with the towel wrapped around my head (to do some natural drying...curly hair demands it). I close the door to keep the noise down, turn on the news and go get a bowl of cereal. I sit, watch the news and eat my cereal. I sit a bit more.

7:00am
Time to blow dry my hair. I don't dry it all...otherwise I'd be a frizz head. It's tough in the winter as I tend to have frozen hair, but must do it. I then get dressed. If I didn't do the ironing the night before I have to quickly do that. But I always lay out my clothes in the living room the night before so I don't bother R.

7:15am
Head back to bathroom to brush teeth and put on SPF on my face and neck. Head into bedroom and give R. a kiss (he wants it even if he's asleep!). Do final stuff to get ready.

7:24 am
Begin to head to train station. Have to catch the 7:30am train. Luckily it's only a 4 minute walk.

I get to school around 7:55am, go to my office, turn on the laptop and then check my work email. If I'm not teaching first period I head to the staff lounge and fill up my 32 oz water bottle (try to drink two of these if I can in the school day) and get a cup of tea.

It's time to start my day!

15 November 2006

For hire

R. and I have been discussing the idea of getting a cleaner every other week. And I think we're heading toward an affirmative answer on it.

Part of me feels like it's an extravagence to have someone clean a small two bed-two bath flat in London, when there are two very able people living there. We could spend the small amount of time needed to do the cleaning if we just did it more regularly (every night a task) instead of waiting for our free weekend time (aka Sunday) to do it all.

But then a part of me also thinks...I do a lot. R. does a lot. We're very involved people who have tons going on in our lives (mostly really cool stuff!). And to have the freedom from cleaning the shower or thinking about the drapes on a regular basis....oh, it just sounds lovely.

What it would mean is that we'd have to give up going out twice a month. Or cooking, instead of ordering food (which is something I tend to enjoy anyway). And we could do this easily.

I know I'd still have to do some cleaning (after cooking for example). But the big stuff would be done twice a month. And that would be nice. Really, really nice.

But I'm still not completely convinced. I guess the conversation needs to continue.

14 November 2006

Remember forever

Last night my school showed United 93. It is about the flight on 9-11 that never made it to its target, unlike the other 4. We had two people from the 9-11 commission there to introduce the film and talk a bit about their work (one is the parent of a kid here).

The film was amazingly moving. The hard part is that you know the ending. You know these people are going to die. And the actors did a great job - they kept in character and didn't show any hint of knowledge about the end. Especially with having a fiance now, I could just imagine myself in the plane making that phone call. I had tears in my eyes just imagining saying "I love you. Goodbye." Unreal.

The thing about being my age is that I'll forever remember that day. I was at a school in Alexandria, VA, just a few miles from the Pentagon. The school had television in each classroom and during off periods, kids would watch the news or something else. And once we heard about the twin towers, I left the building to see if I could find Administration. And then I heard it. The plane hitting the Pentagon. And the jets taking off from the nearby airfield. It was awesome and overwhelming. My boyfriend at the time was working in the Pentagon so being a calm and cool counselor for kids who had family in all locations was tough. I remember the smell of smoke for days. The startle when you heard a plane overhead. The lock-down of the area.

Watching that movie brought it all back. And I have to tell you that when R. and I saw each other later in the evening (he had football)...I've never hugged another human being that tightly. It would hurt so badly if I lost him. And his importance in my life was brought to the forefront. To heck with the wedding...I just want to be with him forever!

So a shout out to everyone. Remember to tell the people that you love that you care about them. If you have a fight, don't let those be the last words. Give someone a hug.

13 November 2006

Homecoming

We had agreed that he would pick me up from school, as I had a suitcase and backpack and would most likely be quite tired. So I called him about 10 minutes from school. He told me that a friend was over, they were on the Playstation and had been drinking...but he'd come get me any way. No. Don't be an idiot. I'll take a cab if I can find my wallet with my pounds in it or take the tube & train or bus. I was not happy with him.

I didn't feel like searching through my suitcase for my wallet (which I didn't think I'd need), so off I went on the tube. Luckily at that time of night, heading away from London, it wasn't crowded. I arrived in West Hampstead to see that the train would be another 15 minutes or so...thus went to catch the bus. And it actually arrived in less than 5 minutes (rarely happens with the C-11!). And the space where I usually put bags was open. It was a good thing.

I arrived at home and pressed the button as I also didn't want to have to search for my keys. R. answered, let me in and then gave me a boozy hug. Yup, he was a touch wiffy. His friend, T and he had decided to make Playstation football into a drinking game and they were well on their way to utter drunkenness. I had been away for several days and this was my homecoming. Harrumph!

Luckily, R. had bought some roses (which were placed in our Brita as our one vase was missing) and had made me dinner (pasta...still it was hot and yummy). I ate, chatted a bit about my experiences with the kids and then went to bed as they continued their game. I was sleepy and didn't want to stay up any longer.

R. finally came to bed and woke me up. I pushed his drunken butt off me, grumbled at him and fell back asleep. He ought to have known better...a grumpy ukyankee is not a good sight! But we slept until 11am. I felt great. R. was hungover. Heh heh. And we had a lovely relaxing day. But he still ought to have been in shape to pick me up the night before. I don't typically hold grudges...but he might have to pay for this one! ;-)

12 November 2006

Field Hockey & Food

Well, I'm back from my trip to Belgium with our high school field hockey team. We played in five games, winning two and losing three, and getting seventh place out of eight. We ought to have done a lot better, but I know they had a great time anyway. We play against teams who have kids in clubs and who have been playing since 4 (believe me, I saw the 4 yr olds out there practicing...they are amazing!!!). We now know what we need to do in order to get better...and some of that comes from training our younger kids better.

The best thing about the trip is the social aspect which is helped by the kids staying with families from the school (hosting as it's called). We hang out with the coaches on two evenings and our parents on the last (yes, we had 13 parents this year come to see the kids play!). We started off having a meeting and dinner at the British School of Brussels. I have to say that their chef made some wonderful food! So much better and healthy than what we get in our caf. Then we were off to the bar at our hotel (just outside Antwerp) where we hung out for a bit. It was nice as there were many returning coaches. We tend to all get on quite well.

The second night a bunch of the coaches went to Dock's Cafe in Antwerp. It was so much fun and great food! I started out with 9 fresh oysters on the half-shell. Sooooo yummy! And then I finished with a lovely medium rare steak. We were given the opportunity to have as much house wine as we wanted for 10 euros...we definitely had more than 10 euros worth each! Felt we got our money's worth (61 euros each).

The third night we were taken out to dinner in Brussels. It involved walking to a tram, a tram ride and then the train (50 min) to Brussels. Normally I wouldn't go that far for a meal, but usually the parents take us somewhere really cool and special. And they didn't fail! We went to L'idiot du Village (or the Village Idiot), which is a small little funky restaurant. I started with hot foie gras in a vanilla sauce (OH...MY...GOD). Lovely. And then had scallops over lentils. Just wonderful. And of course, wine. We came home tired as all else, but full of good food.

So now on to a busy week. It's been made less busy by having my Tuesday night thing cancelled (a shame but have to admit I kinda need that night free). But then next week after that we have Thur and Friday off for Thanksgiving...though I'll be the cooking queen for T-day! I plan on getting some sleep though....

06 November 2006

STRESSSSSSS!!!!

I'm not going to be on here for a while. Life is getting busier and busier. And on top of that, I'm going away. So I won't be blogging again until (at the earliest) Sunday. Why you say? Well...

Today I didn't stop at work from 8:00am until just now. And I'm in my office waiting for a kid to show up who probably won't. I'll have to meet with her tomorrow. After lunch I'll have to put my class notes on my website. That will take up a lot of the day. (yeah, yeah...whine, whine, whine).

Tomorrow is booked - getting things ready for my Wed/Thur classes - need to have a plan for the substitute. Teaching again, writing comments for kids who have all their work in.

Wednesday - leave for Brussels with the field hockey team. We're heading there for a tourney. Won't be back until late Saturday night.

Monday of next week I have class, then I have to be around for the showing of the movie Flight 93...in case anyone loses it. Tuesday night I have a junior class event that will take up the entire evening. And on Wednesday, I have to have grades & comments written for my 30-something students in my psych classes...they are due at 9am.

Am I crazy? Yes. Will I lose it by next week? Most likely. Poor R...pray for him as I think he hasn't REALLY seen me stressed before. It'll be a lovely learning experience, eh?

So now...in this final blog for a while, I want to remind myself that 'yes, I do love my job...it's very cool (I mean they're sending me to Brussels!)...but if I want to cry at night about how much I have to do in one week, then it's okay.' I am only human ya know!

03 November 2006

We're in the midst of studying human development in my psych course. We've talked about prenatal development, what happens at birth and the moments of childhood that may have major effects on you...including some theories on cognitive development and personality. I decided one thing to really focus some discussion was on how we develop our gender identity.

When I was majoring in psychology in university, I was required as a senior to write a thesis. It had to be an extensive review of materials along with one's own experiement or study on the topic. I decided to look at toys, play and gender. Here's the exact topic: The Development of Gender Identity: Sex-Typing, Self-Concept and Advertising. I wrote approximately 100 pages total (including references and the like). Amazed myself to be honest...and it's located in a library at my university (which by the way is quite cool to look up online and see!).

What I studied were a lot of toy commercials, how toys are given 'gender' tags and how kids play when they are ages 3 - 7. First I asked teenagers to say whether a group of toys were masculine, feminine or gender neutral. No surprises here I have to say. Then I analayzed toy commercials. Lots of them. During a time when most college students did NOT have a VCR...so up early on Saturdays to watch cartoons. Not the happiest mornings. And guess what..."boy toy" (BT) and "girl toy" (GT) commercials are very different. BT commercials tend to display primary colours. The music is more staccoto and fast paced. The kids do not play together cooperatively but instead either play alone or competitively with lots of action. GT commercials have pastel colours typically. One hears soft twinkly music (comes across as 'happy'). And the girls typically are playing with someone else in a cooperative way or are showing off the toy to someone else (very little action involved).

Now....can you guess how the observations of kids went? Yup, girls tend to play more cooperatively or show things off to others...little action. Boys play more competitively and more actively.

So - what makes us this way? Is it what we see? Is it how we are taught to act? They've shown that if you put a girl in a blue blanket after she is born, then adults will play more 'roughly' with her thinking she's a boy. But if a boy is put in a pink blanket, then they'll tend to be cuddled and gently handled. Perhaps we are primed from such an early age. Cause ya know what? Girls are actually more hearty at birth...but you'd never know it.

So one question I asked kids was - How do we learn about what it means to be masculine or feminine as an infant, child and teenager? Who does it? How do they do it? Do our influences change over time? And it got them all thinking...how did I become who I am now?

02 November 2006

Stop the train...I wanna get off!

I try to get into work on time, but the train is so crowded I can't fit, so I have to take the bus and then when I get off the bus to get on the tube I discover that it's not running for the third time this week and so I have to get on another bus to get to work (which is also packed) and I wander in 10 minutes late. Yup, life is crazy right now and probably won't stop for a while. And when I get to work I look at my diary and all I see is lots of blue...a meeting at 8:35 that finished at 9:15, a meeting for 9:35, teaching at 9:55 til 11:15, another meeting around noon and then a lunch meeting. Come on people...what's up with this?

Now along side all of this, I have to prepare to write comments and figure out grades within the next week, have to work with a few psychologists, continue to teach, come up with a plan for when I'm away next week (field hockey tournament) so that the sub doesn't get cooked, go to field hockey practices (coaching), play a game on Saturday, go shopping for new heaters for our flat (we don't have central heating and our heaters broke), plan and cook dinner for some friends...on and on and on. Oh, and there's that wedding planning thing that's taken over my life.

But I suppose that if none of this was going on, I'd complain about being bored. At least my job is full of different tasks and I have things going on in my life that I do enjoy. So the silver lining is...I'm not bored.

And things are going to change a bit in the near future. Field hockey season (for the kids) is ending in about one week. Next week we go to our final tourney in Brussels from Wednesday to Saturday (I'll not be online at all during that time). And so that means I'll now have several hours to myself. I plan on getting my hair done in relaxed style. Perhaps even getting a manicure. I can go to the gym more regularly. And plan for, shop for and cook a nice meal for R. and me.

Life is crazy busy. But it does keep me going!