31 December 2006

The wedding dress

Here's a few pics (as promised) of the fabric and patterns on my future wedding outfit:

This is the pattern on the dress.


This is in the dupatta.


This is from the bottom of the dress...I won't have as much work on mine...it'll be about 11 inches on the border and then a small pattern from their up to the top of the skirt.



This is what the top will look like, though longer!


Happy 2007!

Hope everyone has a wonderful new year! I'll be spending the evening with my guy, just hanging out, watching how the rest of the world will be celebrating. I like that.

There's lots going on in 2007 - getting married, the honeymoon, another year in England...perhaps even getting pregnant? Yup, it'll be a big one irregardless!

29 December 2006

Home again, home again, lickity split

I'm back!

I got to Newark Airport very, very early as dad & step-mom wanted to visit some friends in the evening. But the good news is that I as first in line...and as I had checked in online, I truly was first to get to the desk. There they offered me an upgrade to Premium Economy for only $75. And yes, I took it. Much nicer for an over-night flight. I still didn't sleep well (I'm horrid on planes), but enjoyed the trip a lot more.

R. came to pick me up from the airport along with two friends and we all headed into W. Hampstead for breakfast. Mmmmm.

So here I sit now, having eaten my favorite burgers from Gourmet Burger Kitchen (I only had half a burger to be somewhat healthy)...and I'm so happy to be home with my love!

We were planning on having a party, but I think we'll just be sitting in our place on our own...relaxing and sipping champers...a lovely New Year's Eve.

27 December 2006

Goodbye...until April

Today I leave to go back to the UK. It's been so hectic and busy the past few days that I just didn't have time to post. Mostly family stuff but also wedding things too...

I've met with the event coordinator at my ceremony/reception site. I think it's going to be a great place to have this wedding. The plan is to have a tent outside next to the river...with it will come the heating lamps (just in case). If the weather is good then we can have the sides up and have the beginnings of drinks as well...we'll see. We don't need the tent, it would just be nice. I'll see how my budget looks.

I've gotten most of the invitations ready and they should go out by the end of the week or so...early I know, but with me living overseas I have to be a bit more organized. Plus lots of people will have to start planning now for flights (I have to get ours, in fact!). The invitations were a nightmare - couldn't get a printer to work and the other one made the envelopes look horrid. So I had to drop them off (the US ones) to a printer. I did all the stuffing of the inner envelopes, so all my sis-in-law (who is taking over this job) needs to do is stuff them into the outer envelope and put on the pretty stamps and send them.

I've celebrated a birthday (yesterday) with lots of food and worry about the weight of my suitcases (I'll have to spend $100 on sending some stuff home, which is annoying!).

I spent time with my grandmother who is 91.

Christmas was lovely and crazy and family. We laughed, yelled, rolled our eyes, but ultimately just loved spending time with each other (and the food was awesome!).

It's been worth it to come home. Overall it's been good. Stressful (with some tears) but good.

And now I'm off to the UK once again, not to return until the week before my wedding (in April)...and happily will see my honey tomorrow morning. I can't wait.

25 December 2006

'Tis the season

Happy Holidays!

I'm off with my dad to pick up my grandmother (Nanny) from the nursing home. She's wheelchair bound so two of us are needed. Then my bro & sis-in-law will come over with little baby, Ryan.

Of course, most of the pressies are for Ryan...children are what Christmas is all about (at least the consumer side). He won't have any clue this year and probably the next, regarding what this is all about...but soon he'll be the one waking up mommy & daddy on Christmas morning.

I wish everyone a peaceful day...I know it can be a tough time of the year for those with and without family obligations. But know that there is someone out there in cyber space who wishes you the best!

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas! (or any other holiday you are celebrating this season!)

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almost 3pm:

IT'S SNOWING!!!! ON CHRISTMAS!!!!

Now back to our regularly scheduled show...

24 December 2006

Busy, busy, busy

Wednesday:
My final big day of wedding planning...and boy was I busy!

At 10am I went to talk to the salon about a hair/makeup trial, nails for the girls & moi and then the time for my wedding hair & makeup. It didn't take long. They were trying to sell massages and the like...but that's what I have my honey for! ;-)

Then I ran to the florist and put down a deposit as well as showed her pics of my dress and gave her a bit of the fabric I had for colours. She thought it was gorgeous (it is...ya gotta trust me here).

And on to the jeweler. I picked everything out, asked for our wedding date to be put on the inside of the rings and paid for it all. And best of all - IT CAME UNDER BUDGET!!!! Happy day!

I spent some time with Catie & Ryan, and then went back to cook diner for the 'rents. I used one of my new cookbooks (love them)...and made fish & chips with mushy peas. I thought I'd bring a bit of England to them. And it worked. The fish was crispy outside & tender inside, the chips were fully cooked (thick cut french fries) and the mushy peas were nice and creamy with bits of pea all throughout. Mmmmmm! Yummy. We then proceeded to eat tons of cookies. While not good for the waistline, it was perfect for my taste buds!


The next few days are a blur of running around, doing a lot of shopping (needed a new suitcase to fit everything!) and eating & drinking lots of food. Nothing much went on in terms of wedding stuff, other than to pick up the matting we'll use for the wedding guest signage.

Today we went to church in the morning, followed by a small tea in the annex. Saw lots of people I haven't seen since I was very much younger. And then on to see my Nanny (grandma) in the nursing home. She's 91 and doing okay, though not as well as she'd like. I hope she's okay for my wedding as I'd love to have her there. She's coming over for Christmas dinner tomorrow.

We'll be having a traditional Polish Christmas Eve dinner this afternoon, followed by another round of church. As a non-religious person it's a bit much...but it is tradition, so I'll go along!

Happy Holidays!

22 December 2006

Lady in red...

A bit more about Sunday (cause I get my days all mixed up):
Went shopping for wedding stuff with my friends, J. & N.. J is my maid of honor and we've been friends since we were around 7. N. has been an off and on friend...not cause of anything bad, but more just losing touch. We've gotten closer in the past few years. J lives in Colorado and N lives in NEPA, so it's always fun to get us together.

We went to try to find accessories for the ceremony and reception. It's always fun to see what you can find. We tried out Michael's (craft shop), Bed Bath & Beyond, and some home furnishing store that I can't remember at this time (darn getting old). I had seen someone on a wedding website do something a bit different for the wedding guests to sign other than a guest book...they had the guests sign matting (the stuff inside the frame) which has a picture of the couple in the middle. That way guests could both sign their name and also write a little note. So I went and bought a HUGE mat with a cut-out for a pic. R & I will pick out the frame after the wedding. I also found a rug/throw to use under the mandap which is a multitude of different colours. I think it'll look cool (especially since we may be making this thing ourselves!).

We had a great time, ate a fun lunch...yeah, it's great to have time to bond with old friends.

Now on to other days....

Tuesday:
It's the big day. The day that I find my Indian outfit. I'm both excited and nervous...what if I don't find anything I like? What if nothing looks good? What if I love something and it's too expensive? I guess all the things that normally go through most brides minds.

We (step-mom & me) headed to the Little India of New Jersey...about a 2-1/2 hour drive away. This is a big commitment ya know! We spent some time just walking around to get a lay of the land and discovered that there was basically one road where the main shops were located. We went into the first store. A woman comes up to us and I tell her what I'm looking for. I know there were some very nice looking things that she didn't bother to pull out. Just a few things that looked and fitted horribly. She wasn't very responsive and seemed to want to serve the Asian customers instead. I tried on two things and just left. I felt like I had been in the Dress Nazi's store and she told me "No dress for you!".

We then went into store number two. A bit more promising. Once again she kept pulling out the lesser dresses. I swear I could see more expensive ones that were more like what I wanted, but at least the dresses she pulled out where pretty. I tried on one lehnga choli that was a dusty pink with a creamy gold embroidery on it. Very lovely. I could see that it was something I'd like. So I had option number one. I think she was disappointed when we left.

Then we got to store number three. It looked like a very high end store. The woman greeted me and I let her know what I was looking for. She then asked me what my budget was...which I took as a good sign. I wish I had taken a picture of all the lehngas that she had on the shelves. It was amazing. And then she started pulling out dress after dress. And they were gorgeous. Reds, pinks, oranges...stunning colours and beadwork. But it was the first one that she pulled out that stuck with me. It was a bright lipstick red (Chanel red), a blue-red red. There was an amazing amount of beadwork. Now the lady told me that I could not afford that dress. (which was true...it was almost twice my budget). But as they were designers, she could get me a lehnga in that style or colour or whatnot for my budget. So I tried it on. And it was stunning. Knocked my socks off. Step-mom almost began to cry. Yup, this was the one. There was no more need to go shopping. This was it. So we began the compromising...and it meant that the dress I'd have would have less beadwork (which was fine as I found the original beadwork a touch overdone), the choli (top part) would be longer (I didn't want to show off my tummy thank you very much) and it would be A-line. Yippee! I had my dress.

As we drove back home, Ev asked me about the white dress. What were my thoughts on it now. And ya know what? I don't even want to wear the white one. This red dress will blow it away. There's no need for the white dress. Not a bit. So it's gonna go back on Ebay. I only spent $35 so who cares! While it's a pretty dress (worth much more than $35 I'll tell you), it can't compare to my new lehnga choli in red. I'm gonna look good!

More later!

21 December 2006

Ring around a rosey...or is it gerberas?

Sunday:
Sunday was a day of rest. I refused the offer to go to church as I got very little sleep. My dog, who I had given to my brother & sister-in-law, was staying with dad & step-mom while her family was visiting. So I got to spend some quality time with my lovely yellow lab, Amber. Unfortunately, Amber is not a calm sleeper at night and kept me up for hours. Still...it was worth it for the furry snuggle.

Amber was a rescue dog. I applied to get her and went to the house where she was staying. The family had tried to keep her, but due to not doing enough training and having both an under 2 year old dog, a 2 year old child and a newborn, Amber was out of control. So I took her on. She got the works - one-on-one training with this amazing guy for eight weeks, life on a boarding school where she could run to her hearts content. Yup, she was a lucky dog. And by the time I moved, she was well trained and a bit more mature...so my bro got a lovely animal.

During the day, I just read and read and read. I didn't want to do a thing. I was a bit jet lagged. I did go out to dinner with my mom at a lovely restaurant. Yummy calamari & a fishcake plus all the desert you could eat (crazy). And it was nice to have some time with her just one-on-one. We made plans for the next day to go wedding ring shopping.

Monday:
I went with my step-mom to meet with the florist I had chosen. Dad and step-mom had used them with great results so I figured why not. The only other florist I wanted to check out was already booked for that weekend, so I just went with Matterns. And it was fun. I decided to use gerbera daisies for the bouquets and ceremony, roses for the guys & moms and usherettes. I'll have reds and yellows and pinks...a mishmosh of colour! It'll be purty. And it was within my budget. Now I just have to figure out how to make a mandap...

In the afternoon I went and hung out a bit with my nephew (the cutest boy ever) and then took mom with me while we went ring shopping. I found the best jeweler ever. He designs and makes his own rings. He came up with an idea that will fit perfectly with my engagement ring and within my budget (actually less than my budget...yeah!)...but I wanted to check other places out so didn't place the order yet. The second place we saw was horrid. That's all I have to say. And we were done by then. I was pooped. It was time to go back for dinner with dad and step-mom.

Tuesday to come....

20 December 2006

Arrivals

Hi! Yup, I'm here in the USA. It's been quite a trip, I have to say...I'm still a bit tired...my mind is not quite up for the time change...but overall - I'm loving it!

I arrived in Newark about 1/2 hour late. Poor dad, having to wait for me to arrive. But c'est la vie. We drove to NEPA in his new car (comfy) and decided that since I was on overdrive (second wind or more), we might as well stop by my brother & sister-in-law's place to greet the new baby. Well...let me tell you that Ryan is cuter in person. He's still sleeping and eating more than anything else. Then again, he is only a week or so old! I got to see the humorous situation that baby boys get themselves into - aka...the 'in the air pee'. Yup, boys when they are babies, end up peeing in the air pretty much whenever you take off their diaper. My sis-in-law, C., forgot to cover this up one time while I was there and the geiser erupted. She was in a state of giggles (it's still funny), while poor Ryan was crying his eyes off (it was cold having someone take off all his clothing). I got to hold him after (in his new warm clothing) and it was heaven!

The following day was my bridal shower. It was awesome! We went to a 'tea room' in the area. It was pretty much newly opened and so very few people even knew of its existence. There were a lot of impressed guests. We started off picking out the hats that we wanted to wear - well, I was given a 'bridal' hat so I didn't get to choose. And then the pictured commenced. I have to say that I am the goofy one in all the pics! And if anyone sends one to me, then I'll post it. I don't mind making fun of myself...

We had tea, scones, sarnies, soup and desert. It was fab. And of course, there was the prerequesit opening of the presents. Now, let me tell you, I don't usually mind being the center of attention. But this whole sitting in front of women and announcing who got you what - it was my own private version of hell. I didn't let anyone else know this, but it was bad. But I got through it was some very yummy gifts. From cook books to a nativity scene to a frying pan to a few bits of moolah...yeah, it was nice. And I guess worth the embarrassment!

Well...that's it for now. There will be more on wedding stuff to come...happy holidays!

15 December 2006

Flying

I head out today for the States. 7 hours in cattle class. Never a fun journey, but it is one I'm looking forward to. Dad is picking me up from the airport. Yeah! And then we drive a few hours to get home.

Not sure if I'll be able to blog from my dad's computer...the connection and system is a bit iffy...but I'll try. I'll have tons to talk about with all my wedding meetings going on.

So...in 4 hours, I'll be off...goodbye England, hello USA!

14 December 2006

A stranger in two worlds

Tonight is my last night in London until December 28th. So strange. It's become home for me. It's the place where I want to rest my head, it's the place where I work, it's the place where I play and the place where I have love.

But I also call the USA home. It's where my family is, where my closest friends are located and where my childhood and early adulthood memories are based.

I have two homes. And I think that makes me lucky.

Many people when they move to a new country have quite a few adjustment issues. Some become depressed, so just can't deal with the differences. I think moving to London from Boston is much easier than many other moves. Both cities are quite similar in feel - there's a variety of 'sections' of the city, some of which actually have a large village-like feel. Both get crazy busy in parts with tourists...but you can still see lovely sights despite that fact. Both have a similar transportation system in buses and trains.

The only truly hard part for me was leaving my friends and the familiar. I knew where to go shopping, or how to rent a place...how to do my laundry and how to deal with medical issues. Here, in England, it's a bit different. And the language, while similar, is not quite the same. I had no clue what a courgette was...or that someone would readily call me 'love' without batting an eye.

When I head back to the States, I actually feel quite odd. People are driving on the opposite side of the road. Their accents are different. You can access stores so much later - yes, 24 hours means it's open 24 hours every day of the week! The subtle changes in what I call things over here makes it tough to talk about items at times...I have to change my thinking/wording to American.

So - I don't fully fit yet over here. And I probably never will...though I'm quite comfortable in my life in London. But I also now don't feel like I fit in the US. And I'm not quite as comfortable with that. I think all expats who stay in a country for a good period of time feel that way. Maybe it helps us in this transition. Maybe it makes us citizens of the world.

12 December 2006

I'm an Aunt!

Ryan Millard was born yesterday around 4pm. He was a healthy sized baby (over 8 lb). I'm so excited! It's the first baby for my brother or me...my dad & mom must be over the moon. Wish I was in the US right now..only a few more days to go!

11 December 2006

Me time

I know it's probably completely utter bunk, but I decided to try a Universal Contour Wrap. Supposedly you lose inches cause the wrapping compresses your fat.

So, you get all nekked except for your knickers. Then this woman measures you in all sorts of places. Fun, fun. Then you get wrapped up in these warm clay infused strips of stretchy fabric.

It's a tight wrap.

And then you get into a plastic suit. Lie down, are covered with blankets (for warmth) and you are left for one hour.

I'm sure many people fall asleep - cause it is nice and warm, there was classical music and the lights are low. I chose to read my trash novel instead! Woo hoo reading time!

After the hour, you are unwrapped and re-measured. Supposedly I had lost 8" from all-over. Do I feel smaller? Nah. But I feel very soft.

And so even if it didn't truly work, it was still lovely and my skin is smoother than it's been in ages. It's kinda like a clay mask for the body.

And the relaxation time all to myself. Yup, that's worth it.

07 December 2006

Parent-Teacher Conferences

Today is the beginning of parent-teacher conferences. It is the bane of every teacher. For us, it means we teach a normal day, then spend the next 3-1/2 hours talking to parents about their kids. And we have to be very, very political about it. And then we return to do it again the next day from 8:00am to 4:00pm. It's exhausting. And we're already feeling dead.

I have a few tough conferences. One kid is getting an F. He has EARNED that grade through not paying attention, not doing the work and messing about. But his parents think he's god's gift and that the school (incl teachers) are not supporting him. Now I can tell them that I gave him several opportunities to make up work, to get extra points...but he didn't help himself. I'm not looking forward to this.

Another kid wants to take the AP exam in my class (like an A Level exam). He is a low B student in my normal Psychology course, has missed quite a few classes and is a bit lax during classes that he attends. I'm sure his dad will ask how he'll do in the AP and I will have to say that he needs to attend class, that he needs to put in more work and that he has to do work outside of class in order to do as well as he needs on the AP (at least a 4 out of 5...which is doubtful!).

So...keep me in mind the next two days. It's not going to be fun. Sigh.

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So...yesterday went relatively well. Had some VERY intense parents. It's funny how the kids who are not doing hardly anything have such focused parents. What happened? But I have a plan for all of them which makes the parents happy.

My worst meeting was this morning with two parents who are well known for being obnoxious. But they weren't. In fact they were funny and appreciative of what I'm trying to do for their kid (who is very badly failing my course). We'll see if I can get this kid to do some work...kinda scary prospects to be honest.

So, only two more to go...and both are great kids who are doing very well. Easy peasy!

Almost the weekend....

05 December 2006

So ya pick up the bat...

Today I get to do something new and (hopefully) fun. I'll be heading to the top of the Rainbow Tower, where our kindergarten classrooms reside, and talk to the kids about cricket.

Today is sports day for the little ones and they've asked teachers to come and talk about a sport that they know. I figured that many of the faculty wouldn't really have a good understanding of cricket, so I volunteered. Luckily, another woman, who I work with, has offered to come as well...so we'll both give our views & thoughts.

How fun to talk to the little ones. I'm so used to my little world of high school, and rarely see the kindergarteners except when they are walking back and forth from the gym once in a while. It will be cool to see what sort of questions they will ask. Hopefully I'll be able to answer.

I brought my outfit, a ball and a bat. Should be interesting, eh?

When I get back, I'll add to the blog and let you know how it went....

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I had a great time. I didn't get to wear my outfit (had a meeting right up to the time), but I did bring it in to show them. And I did a demo on how to hold the bat & the movement. The other woman and I showed what you do when you want to score (run like mad). We talked about the players positions and we talked about where it all came from. There was some good interest...and they loved handling the ball and bats!

03 December 2006

Snuggled up

Last night, R & I decided just to hunker on down in our flat. There was a party going on in central London and we had lots of other opportunities to go out...but after the busy weeks before and the lack of good sleep lately, we decided a night in would be perfect.

We started the evening with a lovely shopping trip to Sainsburys. There we purchased food for the next few days. Unlike most of our shopping trips, this one wasn't too bad - lines were short, it wasn't crazily crowded and we found everything we wanted quite quickly. Yippee!

It was R's turn to cook and he had decided to make a lamb biriyani. Unlike his curries, he uses lamb chops and cooks them with the rice. It's much less 'saucey' than a curry and wasn't quite as spicy. It was so yummy! I was very restrained and only had one serving (good me!) and only two beers.

We then settled in to see some t.v. shows. We decided to go the naturalist route & watch one on the coast of England and one on the shallow seas of the tropics. Very interesting and gorgeous.

It was an early night as we were tired. Which may be why I'm up earlier than I usually would be on a Sunday. R's still in bed!

01 December 2006

December 1

Today is World AIDS Day. It is a day where you wear a red ribbon in memory of those who have died of AIDS and in hope that one day the world will no longer be afflicted with such a devistating illness. At my school, I'm the adult who is attached to the AIDS club. We are handing out ribbons (suggested donation is £1) as well as putting up posters all over school. I hope that you can find somewhere to buy a red ribbon to support the cause.


Facts:

Around forty million people are living with HIV throughout the world.

What is HIV?
HIV stands for the Human Immunodeficiency Virus. HIV attacks the body’s immune system - the body’s defence against diseases. HIV, if detected early, can be treated very successfully. With treatment, people living with HIV will probably have a normal lifespan, although serious health problems may still occur.

What is AIDS?
AIDS stands for Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome. A person is considered to have AIDS when the immune system has become so weak that it can no longer fight off a whole range of diseases with which it would normally cope. If HIV is diagnosed late, treatment may be less effective in preventing AIDS.

How is HIV passed on?
HIV is not transmitted via casual contact or kissing. It can only be passed on through exposure to HIV-infected blood, sexual or rectal fluids, or breast milk.

The most common ways are via:
Sexual intercourse with an infected partner where blood or sexual fluids like semen and vaginal or rectal secretions enter the body through the penis, vagina or anus.
Sharing infected needles or syringes when injecting drugs.
From an HIV positive mother to her child during pregnancy, childbirth or breastfeeding. However, there are proven steps mothers can take to reduce the possibility of their unborn child contracting HIV.

Less common ways are via:
Oral sex - although the risks are much lower than with sexual intercourse, blood or sexual fluids may occasionally enter the body via the mouth, particularly if the uninfected partner has gum problems or mouth ulcers.
Unscreened and untreated transfusions of blood or blood products. However, in the UK all blood products are screened for HIV and other blood-borne diseases.
An accident in a medical setting, where a healthcare worker is exposed to the blood of an infected person, usually during surgery or via a needlestick injury.

You cannot get HIV from day-to-day contact such as:
Kissing, Touching, Holding hands, Sharing eating utensils, Toilet seats, Swimming pools

Take some time out to think about those who are suffering - not only those who have AIDS, but those families who have lost a member or those children who are orphans due to the disease. There are so many misbeliefs about HIV & AIDS...let's educate the world.


Thanks to www.worldaidsday.org for this information.


30 November 2006

Naughty, naughty!

I went out on a SCHOOL NIGHT!

Yes, even at the age of 37, I still get a secret little thrill about going out during the week.

My parents never let me do that when I was in grade school or high school. I'm almost certain that it never happened. Maybe once. But I definitely was not one of those people who were allowed to go to concerts or movies on a Thursday. It was a school night.

Now, of course, once I hit college, all bets were off. I went out on school nights all the time. It wasn't really a great idea as it killed some of my grades. But I did have a ton of fun! And I did go out once in a while during the week when I was in grad school...but this time my grades did not suffer at all.

But once I was in the working world, it was back to going to bed at 10pm (love my sleep) and giving up some social functions.

The next few weeks I'll be going out quite a lot. 'Tis the season. But going to a MOVIE on a Wednesday night...one that STARTS at 9pm...now that is decadent for me. (And yes, I'm paying for it this morning!)

I went to see DejaVu last night. I know it's out in the US, but the movie isn't slated to come out to every theatre over here until Dec. 10. Someone dropped off a bunch of special invites a special opening show in London and I was able to get two. So R & I went out to dinner in Leicester Square and then on to the Empire Theatre for the show. It was packed.

The movie was okay. Not great. But definitely rentable. So I had fun. And wasn't able to get to bed until midnight. Now, note that I have to get up at 6:30am, so midnight is really pushing it for me! But it was worth it!

Woo hoo...goin' out during a school night. Aren't I the bad girl? ;-)

28 November 2006

Growing up is hard to do

Because I work with teenagers, I'm constantly reminded of how I felt during that stage of my life. And sometimes it's a time that I don't want to remember at all. While it wasn't horrible, it was also not easy. Like most teens I just didn't know who I was or how to figure that out.

I start off in high school looking VERY young (and this doesn't change at all throughout the 4 years). Even though I'm one of the oldest there, I probably could pass for pre-pubescent. I had barely developed (no boobs) and was just getting out of the age when I thought playing 'kill the man' was totally cool. I was a serious tomboy - more into sports than anything else. But at the same time, I had grown a sort of fearfulness. Not sure where that came from. At one point I had been full of fire, but somehow lost it in those middle school years.

I wish it had been an era where being sporty was really cool - here at my school, the talented sports chicks are 'it'. Yes, there are still some that are seen as geeky (which I was), but overall talent is celebrated.

I was a teacher's child at a private school (part boarding, part day). We didn't have hardly any money. Especially compared to most of the kids at the school. It was one area that kept me apart. And then there was just being the kid of the school counselor. Everyone thought I'd be the one to 'tell on them'...to be a 'rat'. But that wouldn't have been my style. But I was considered square, and so never invited to parties.

With all of this going on, I developed into a quite shy young woman. I hid in black while also pushing myself out front by getting funky haircuts. There was still some fire hidden within & it showed in being as alternative as I could in this preppy school. 'Pretty in Pink' pretty much sums up what it felt like to be in school on some days, though I didn't win the coolest prepster guy at the prom.

I think my situation fed into my being introspective. I thought a lot. I thought about who I wanted to be...did I want to fit in (yes, kinda), did I want to be a professional (yup), did I like who I was (well...not sure). I tried on all sorts of guises throughout high school and college, trying to see which 'hat' would fit the best.

After I left high school, I decided that working on the shyness thing would be better than focusing on grades. I had done very well for myself and ended up at a top rated university where I was playing varsity hockey. I knew that the next thing I needed was to develop my sense of self and some esteem. And so with the help of the numerous books on my dad's shelf, I built myself up.

I came out of college still unmolded...but with a better sense of who I wanted to be. And I've kept at it. Still growing, still changing, but not as much. My dress sense is still a bit different, though I tend to wear more preppy clothing with more than a touch of black. I still have fun with my hair, though that tends to be more restricted to the colour and not the cut. I still think a LOT.

High school was interesting. There were moments when I wasn't sure I was ever going to make it through without losing it. And I hope that my memories help me be a better counselor. The interesting thing I've found through my work though...something I wouldn't have imagined back when I was 15...is that every kid, even the most popular, have a similar sense of just not fitting. Not as much as I did. But every kid had their moment of a loss of faith in themselves. A worry about not being enough. Some hid it better or handled it with more grace.

As I head closer and closer to my 40th birthday (my 38th is next month), I feel like I'm back to that place where I had to make lots of decisions about my self. Who do I want to be as I head toward middle age? If I become a mother, what sorts will I be? And if I don't, how will I define myself then?

I think at every age, it's possible that self-exploration is a need. In my teen years it was all about where I wanted to fit. My 20s were all about who I wanted to be when I grew up. My 30s have been a bit easier, as I've accepted my life, my body and the person I am still growing into. But it's a time that once again I need to look within.

27 November 2006

The holiday season is a comin'

So I surived my first day back at work after the holiday. I have to say, getting up was VERY difficult. All I wanted was to just stay under the duvet and snuggle up with R. But alas, I couldn't do it.

The weekend was such a ton of fun. There were parties, hockey matches, lots of wine and much sleep. Bliss.

Now I can't complain (though I'm sure I will) over the next three weeks as I'll be getting another holiday starting on the 15th of December. We have a half-day at work and then I'll be heading out to the airport to head back to the States.

My first week back in PA is almost fully booked. I arrive on Friday night. Saturday morning I have a manicure (nooooo complaints there), then my bridal shower. It'll be a load of fun - my sis-in-law is hosting it at a 'tea room'...oh, so very British, my dear. Then Sunday will be filled with going shopping (crazy pre-Christmas danger). Monday through Thursday is just filled with appointments for florists, hair, Indian wedding dress shopping, DJ, photographer...as I told my step-mom, I will be in need of much wine. MUCH!

23 November 2006

Thanksgiving in the UK

10am - do the finishing touches of cleaning of house...focus on bathroom as it truly needs it!

Noon - make giblet broth

12:30pm - dice onion & garlic for soup; saute; place in slow cooker

1:00pm - put liquid and pumpkin into slow cooker

1:40pm - make stuffing

1:50pm - dry out turkey & season

2:00pm - stuff turkey, preheat oven

2:15pm - put turkey into oven

3:45pm - change heat on turkey (un-tent)

5:30pm - make cranberry sauce (homemade)

6:15pm - change heat on turkey (re-tent)

6:30pm - peel potatoes & chop up; cut carrots

6:40pm - bake camembert

6:55pm - cook potatoes; remove camembert & put on table along with other cheeses & crackers

7:00pm - cook carrots; add cream & spices to soup

7:15pm - remove turkey & let sit

7:25pm - caramelize carrots; mash potatoes, make gravy

7:30ish pm - sit down, grab a glass of wine & enjoy! Hope that friends & R. enjoy their meal...but if not, there's plenty of wine!!!

21 November 2006

Cold (for England)

Brrrr....Today was the first day when I truly felt the need for gloves, a scarf and my big ol' woollen jacket. It's COLD. Not just cold. Not just cool. But bone chilling damp cold.

London doesn't really get too cold. Not like Boston cold or NEPA cold. But the damp cold after a long period of quite reasonable temps feels frigid!

If I had straight hair then I'd even go out and buy a cute hat to wear. But with my curls I'm stuck hatless (unless I want to look like a complete dork at work with tons of frizz and curls astray).

(Well, I know I'm a complete dork already, but why prove it even more?!)

It's the kind of day that makes you think of snow. One that reminds you that winter is almost here. A day where it's sunny and you just want to be all bundled up in your warmest wear...walking through the woods and looking at the stark beauty of leaveless trees. It's a day for hot cocoa and peppermint schnapps. A day for a lab to run after a tennis ball, joyously comfy in her warm coat of fur. Perhaps even a day to think about Christmas shopping.

Brrrr...shoulda worn trousers.

20 November 2006

Gift registry

Woo hoo! Why am I so happy? Well...I decided to check out my online wedding registry and guess what? Someone bought something!! We're getting a new set of towels. I'm quite pleased. (Can you tell?) And truthfully, it's made the wedding much more real.

The reason someone bought us (ok...I was thinking 'me') a present already, more than 4 months before the wedding is that my shower is taking place on December 18th. I'll be heading back to the States for my last hurrah (aka planning, buying, etc) before April. And so now people will start buying me stuff. Us. Sorry R.

And it's cool!

That's all.

19 November 2006

Plans

10 stone, 6 lb.

It was a good weekend. Though a bit busy.

Friday night we had our end of season dinner for field hockey. I had put together a power point of pics from the season. We gave a ton of certificates away and a few awards. The kids and parents had a really great time. As did I. They are so sweet. And the parents gave us some really nice presents. I got a bunch of fragerant flowers, some chocolates and gift certificates for Selfridges. Very generous! The coaches then all met out at a pub after for a few beers. I left a touch early as I wanted to see R. and didn't want to drink much.

Saturday we were meant to have a hockey game. But our oppo decided that the pitch wasn't safe and they walked off. The fact that other teams played there with no problem... Not a good moment. I guess we'll be playing them later in the season. I think they just didn't want to play us - perhaps no subs, or just didn't feel like it. It was stupid! And then I did a bit of umpiring. Let me tell you - boys whinge a ton when they play sports. A lot more than women do! Later that night I went to the hockey club for a social. The theme - Chavs and WAGs. I dressed more like a Chav than a WAG, but it was kinda fun irregardless.
Here's the outfit:
  • lots of bronzing powder. I looked like I lived for the tan. R. hated it. Hee hee! And lots of makeup...LOTS
  • a very, very short jean skirt
  • a tight black low cut shirt on top of a red bra
  • knee high black boots

Yeah...kinda slutty. But then again it seemed as if everyone was innit.

Today, Sunday, was a mix of relaxation and work. Woke up late. Sat around for a while. Vaccuumed. Went out shopping with a friend as well as ate dinner with her. Came home and did some painting (wall not picture). A good day. And now I'm waiting for R to get back from seeing the new Bond movie.

As you can see..a not so bad weekend!

17 November 2006

Bridget Jones, here I come!

So last night R. got to see me cry. I keep talking about wanting to lose weight, but I've done nothing about it. I go one day or two and then the resolve breaks down. And I have to say that R. doesn't help as he brings in fatty foods and has an excuse not to go to the gym.

I tried on a pair of boots last night that I haven't worn since last year. I've always had trouble with boots due to muscular calves and these were a bit tight last year...but I can't even zip them up, not even close...it was so disheartening as they are VERY expensive and nice boots. It was the last straw I think. I made me realize just how much weight I've gained this year and that it has to stop. I can't keep thinking that I can do things in moderation. I don't work that way. And I'm getting older which means cutting back on certain foods for my health. I just have to do it. I'm the type who gains most of her weight in her belly, which is not good for heart health.

So. Once again. I keep saying it. I keep not doing it. But I'm going to. I have to. I not only want to look good in my wedding photos, but I also want to be healthier and fit. So it begins. Today is step one. And each day will be a step.

I may post every day how things are going. I'm going to have to finally weigh myself regularly. It may be the only way I can do this.

16 November 2006

How do you 'do' your mornings. Since I was young, I've gotten ready for school or work in the same manner. It's hardly ever changed, even with living with someone now. And I can't imagine doing anything differently though I suppose if I ever have a kid then it'll change dramatically. What a shocker that will be.

So here's my morning:

6:30 am (this has changed over time depending on commute & time to be somewhere)
I get up straight away with the alarm. Some days I'll actually wake up before the alarm (like this morning I woke up at 6:26). Or just the sound of the cd player will do it. I'm a light sleeper so almost anything works as an alarm. And I've always been this way. I tried once to do the 'snooze', but I just didn't see the point. I might as well sleep as long as possible and then just get up.

6:32 am
I get into the shower. I like my showers to be quite warm but not hot. With having rosacea it's a good idea NOT to have too hot a shower so it's perfect that I tend to like it that way. I'm not one for hot weather or very cold weather. London is perfect for me as it's so moderate.

Every other day or so I'll wash my hair and then condition and then use my red hair stuff that's supposed to keep the colour. On some days I'll do deep conditioning. I shave EVERY day. (perhaps TMI?).

Once I get out, I put on my body & face moisturizers and then do my hair. Leave-in conditioner, mousse and a serum to add body (love Tigi). I never, ever brush my hair. Only the big comb for me and only to get out the tangles.

6:45 am
Head out to the living room in my robe and pj bottoms with the towel wrapped around my head (to do some natural drying...curly hair demands it). I close the door to keep the noise down, turn on the news and go get a bowl of cereal. I sit, watch the news and eat my cereal. I sit a bit more.

7:00am
Time to blow dry my hair. I don't dry it all...otherwise I'd be a frizz head. It's tough in the winter as I tend to have frozen hair, but must do it. I then get dressed. If I didn't do the ironing the night before I have to quickly do that. But I always lay out my clothes in the living room the night before so I don't bother R.

7:15am
Head back to bathroom to brush teeth and put on SPF on my face and neck. Head into bedroom and give R. a kiss (he wants it even if he's asleep!). Do final stuff to get ready.

7:24 am
Begin to head to train station. Have to catch the 7:30am train. Luckily it's only a 4 minute walk.

I get to school around 7:55am, go to my office, turn on the laptop and then check my work email. If I'm not teaching first period I head to the staff lounge and fill up my 32 oz water bottle (try to drink two of these if I can in the school day) and get a cup of tea.

It's time to start my day!

15 November 2006

For hire

R. and I have been discussing the idea of getting a cleaner every other week. And I think we're heading toward an affirmative answer on it.

Part of me feels like it's an extravagence to have someone clean a small two bed-two bath flat in London, when there are two very able people living there. We could spend the small amount of time needed to do the cleaning if we just did it more regularly (every night a task) instead of waiting for our free weekend time (aka Sunday) to do it all.

But then a part of me also thinks...I do a lot. R. does a lot. We're very involved people who have tons going on in our lives (mostly really cool stuff!). And to have the freedom from cleaning the shower or thinking about the drapes on a regular basis....oh, it just sounds lovely.

What it would mean is that we'd have to give up going out twice a month. Or cooking, instead of ordering food (which is something I tend to enjoy anyway). And we could do this easily.

I know I'd still have to do some cleaning (after cooking for example). But the big stuff would be done twice a month. And that would be nice. Really, really nice.

But I'm still not completely convinced. I guess the conversation needs to continue.

14 November 2006

Remember forever

Last night my school showed United 93. It is about the flight on 9-11 that never made it to its target, unlike the other 4. We had two people from the 9-11 commission there to introduce the film and talk a bit about their work (one is the parent of a kid here).

The film was amazingly moving. The hard part is that you know the ending. You know these people are going to die. And the actors did a great job - they kept in character and didn't show any hint of knowledge about the end. Especially with having a fiance now, I could just imagine myself in the plane making that phone call. I had tears in my eyes just imagining saying "I love you. Goodbye." Unreal.

The thing about being my age is that I'll forever remember that day. I was at a school in Alexandria, VA, just a few miles from the Pentagon. The school had television in each classroom and during off periods, kids would watch the news or something else. And once we heard about the twin towers, I left the building to see if I could find Administration. And then I heard it. The plane hitting the Pentagon. And the jets taking off from the nearby airfield. It was awesome and overwhelming. My boyfriend at the time was working in the Pentagon so being a calm and cool counselor for kids who had family in all locations was tough. I remember the smell of smoke for days. The startle when you heard a plane overhead. The lock-down of the area.

Watching that movie brought it all back. And I have to tell you that when R. and I saw each other later in the evening (he had football)...I've never hugged another human being that tightly. It would hurt so badly if I lost him. And his importance in my life was brought to the forefront. To heck with the wedding...I just want to be with him forever!

So a shout out to everyone. Remember to tell the people that you love that you care about them. If you have a fight, don't let those be the last words. Give someone a hug.

13 November 2006

Homecoming

We had agreed that he would pick me up from school, as I had a suitcase and backpack and would most likely be quite tired. So I called him about 10 minutes from school. He told me that a friend was over, they were on the Playstation and had been drinking...but he'd come get me any way. No. Don't be an idiot. I'll take a cab if I can find my wallet with my pounds in it or take the tube & train or bus. I was not happy with him.

I didn't feel like searching through my suitcase for my wallet (which I didn't think I'd need), so off I went on the tube. Luckily at that time of night, heading away from London, it wasn't crowded. I arrived in West Hampstead to see that the train would be another 15 minutes or so...thus went to catch the bus. And it actually arrived in less than 5 minutes (rarely happens with the C-11!). And the space where I usually put bags was open. It was a good thing.

I arrived at home and pressed the button as I also didn't want to have to search for my keys. R. answered, let me in and then gave me a boozy hug. Yup, he was a touch wiffy. His friend, T and he had decided to make Playstation football into a drinking game and they were well on their way to utter drunkenness. I had been away for several days and this was my homecoming. Harrumph!

Luckily, R. had bought some roses (which were placed in our Brita as our one vase was missing) and had made me dinner (pasta...still it was hot and yummy). I ate, chatted a bit about my experiences with the kids and then went to bed as they continued their game. I was sleepy and didn't want to stay up any longer.

R. finally came to bed and woke me up. I pushed his drunken butt off me, grumbled at him and fell back asleep. He ought to have known better...a grumpy ukyankee is not a good sight! But we slept until 11am. I felt great. R. was hungover. Heh heh. And we had a lovely relaxing day. But he still ought to have been in shape to pick me up the night before. I don't typically hold grudges...but he might have to pay for this one! ;-)

12 November 2006

Field Hockey & Food

Well, I'm back from my trip to Belgium with our high school field hockey team. We played in five games, winning two and losing three, and getting seventh place out of eight. We ought to have done a lot better, but I know they had a great time anyway. We play against teams who have kids in clubs and who have been playing since 4 (believe me, I saw the 4 yr olds out there practicing...they are amazing!!!). We now know what we need to do in order to get better...and some of that comes from training our younger kids better.

The best thing about the trip is the social aspect which is helped by the kids staying with families from the school (hosting as it's called). We hang out with the coaches on two evenings and our parents on the last (yes, we had 13 parents this year come to see the kids play!). We started off having a meeting and dinner at the British School of Brussels. I have to say that their chef made some wonderful food! So much better and healthy than what we get in our caf. Then we were off to the bar at our hotel (just outside Antwerp) where we hung out for a bit. It was nice as there were many returning coaches. We tend to all get on quite well.

The second night a bunch of the coaches went to Dock's Cafe in Antwerp. It was so much fun and great food! I started out with 9 fresh oysters on the half-shell. Sooooo yummy! And then I finished with a lovely medium rare steak. We were given the opportunity to have as much house wine as we wanted for 10 euros...we definitely had more than 10 euros worth each! Felt we got our money's worth (61 euros each).

The third night we were taken out to dinner in Brussels. It involved walking to a tram, a tram ride and then the train (50 min) to Brussels. Normally I wouldn't go that far for a meal, but usually the parents take us somewhere really cool and special. And they didn't fail! We went to L'idiot du Village (or the Village Idiot), which is a small little funky restaurant. I started with hot foie gras in a vanilla sauce (OH...MY...GOD). Lovely. And then had scallops over lentils. Just wonderful. And of course, wine. We came home tired as all else, but full of good food.

So now on to a busy week. It's been made less busy by having my Tuesday night thing cancelled (a shame but have to admit I kinda need that night free). But then next week after that we have Thur and Friday off for Thanksgiving...though I'll be the cooking queen for T-day! I plan on getting some sleep though....

06 November 2006

STRESSSSSSS!!!!

I'm not going to be on here for a while. Life is getting busier and busier. And on top of that, I'm going away. So I won't be blogging again until (at the earliest) Sunday. Why you say? Well...

Today I didn't stop at work from 8:00am until just now. And I'm in my office waiting for a kid to show up who probably won't. I'll have to meet with her tomorrow. After lunch I'll have to put my class notes on my website. That will take up a lot of the day. (yeah, yeah...whine, whine, whine).

Tomorrow is booked - getting things ready for my Wed/Thur classes - need to have a plan for the substitute. Teaching again, writing comments for kids who have all their work in.

Wednesday - leave for Brussels with the field hockey team. We're heading there for a tourney. Won't be back until late Saturday night.

Monday of next week I have class, then I have to be around for the showing of the movie Flight 93...in case anyone loses it. Tuesday night I have a junior class event that will take up the entire evening. And on Wednesday, I have to have grades & comments written for my 30-something students in my psych classes...they are due at 9am.

Am I crazy? Yes. Will I lose it by next week? Most likely. Poor R...pray for him as I think he hasn't REALLY seen me stressed before. It'll be a lovely learning experience, eh?

So now...in this final blog for a while, I want to remind myself that 'yes, I do love my job...it's very cool (I mean they're sending me to Brussels!)...but if I want to cry at night about how much I have to do in one week, then it's okay.' I am only human ya know!

03 November 2006

We're in the midst of studying human development in my psych course. We've talked about prenatal development, what happens at birth and the moments of childhood that may have major effects on you...including some theories on cognitive development and personality. I decided one thing to really focus some discussion was on how we develop our gender identity.

When I was majoring in psychology in university, I was required as a senior to write a thesis. It had to be an extensive review of materials along with one's own experiement or study on the topic. I decided to look at toys, play and gender. Here's the exact topic: The Development of Gender Identity: Sex-Typing, Self-Concept and Advertising. I wrote approximately 100 pages total (including references and the like). Amazed myself to be honest...and it's located in a library at my university (which by the way is quite cool to look up online and see!).

What I studied were a lot of toy commercials, how toys are given 'gender' tags and how kids play when they are ages 3 - 7. First I asked teenagers to say whether a group of toys were masculine, feminine or gender neutral. No surprises here I have to say. Then I analayzed toy commercials. Lots of them. During a time when most college students did NOT have a VCR...so up early on Saturdays to watch cartoons. Not the happiest mornings. And guess what..."boy toy" (BT) and "girl toy" (GT) commercials are very different. BT commercials tend to display primary colours. The music is more staccoto and fast paced. The kids do not play together cooperatively but instead either play alone or competitively with lots of action. GT commercials have pastel colours typically. One hears soft twinkly music (comes across as 'happy'). And the girls typically are playing with someone else in a cooperative way or are showing off the toy to someone else (very little action involved).

Now....can you guess how the observations of kids went? Yup, girls tend to play more cooperatively or show things off to others...little action. Boys play more competitively and more actively.

So - what makes us this way? Is it what we see? Is it how we are taught to act? They've shown that if you put a girl in a blue blanket after she is born, then adults will play more 'roughly' with her thinking she's a boy. But if a boy is put in a pink blanket, then they'll tend to be cuddled and gently handled. Perhaps we are primed from such an early age. Cause ya know what? Girls are actually more hearty at birth...but you'd never know it.

So one question I asked kids was - How do we learn about what it means to be masculine or feminine as an infant, child and teenager? Who does it? How do they do it? Do our influences change over time? And it got them all thinking...how did I become who I am now?

02 November 2006

Stop the train...I wanna get off!

I try to get into work on time, but the train is so crowded I can't fit, so I have to take the bus and then when I get off the bus to get on the tube I discover that it's not running for the third time this week and so I have to get on another bus to get to work (which is also packed) and I wander in 10 minutes late. Yup, life is crazy right now and probably won't stop for a while. And when I get to work I look at my diary and all I see is lots of blue...a meeting at 8:35 that finished at 9:15, a meeting for 9:35, teaching at 9:55 til 11:15, another meeting around noon and then a lunch meeting. Come on people...what's up with this?

Now along side all of this, I have to prepare to write comments and figure out grades within the next week, have to work with a few psychologists, continue to teach, come up with a plan for when I'm away next week (field hockey tournament) so that the sub doesn't get cooked, go to field hockey practices (coaching), play a game on Saturday, go shopping for new heaters for our flat (we don't have central heating and our heaters broke), plan and cook dinner for some friends...on and on and on. Oh, and there's that wedding planning thing that's taken over my life.

But I suppose that if none of this was going on, I'd complain about being bored. At least my job is full of different tasks and I have things going on in my life that I do enjoy. So the silver lining is...I'm not bored.

And things are going to change a bit in the near future. Field hockey season (for the kids) is ending in about one week. Next week we go to our final tourney in Brussels from Wednesday to Saturday (I'll not be online at all during that time). And so that means I'll now have several hours to myself. I plan on getting my hair done in relaxed style. Perhaps even getting a manicure. I can go to the gym more regularly. And plan for, shop for and cook a nice meal for R. and me.

Life is crazy busy. But it does keep me going!

31 October 2006

Happy Halloween!

I love to dress up. Ever since I was a little girl being dressed up by my mommy until now, I have totally gotten into 'fancy dress' (as they call it here in England). The first costume I remember wearing was a large pillowcase that my mom cut eye holes into and sewed on black letters that said "BOO!". I was quite a cutie pie as a ghost. I then moved on to become a cow girl (an outfit I decided to wear for months afterwards...thanks parents for not forcing the issue on that one!), a Raggedy Ann doll and a variety of spooky characters.

Even as an adult I've gotten into Halloween. This year I am dressed up as a dark angel. It's not much of a costume but one I can get away with as a school counselor. I'm in all black (yeah!) with black wings and a black furry halo. I have my curls all funked out and dark makeup on. I think my favorite Halloween costume was when I was working in a boarding school - I dressed up like one of the kids getting ready for their football games (they usually dressed in school colours and wrote on their faces). The kids got it.

So, anyway, hope you all enjoy your day. Hope you get treats and not tricks. And....


BOO!

29 October 2006

Great day!

It's 4:30am in England. I don't know why I'm awake, but I am. So I thought I'd share what a fantastic day it was...

I got a great night's sleep. We were in bed by 11:00pm and I slept almost non-stop until 9am. Which was a good thing after the lack of sleep the night before. Having a very drunk fiance on Thursday night was not helpful...especially as he was throwing up at 3:30am. But last night...mmmmm. Gooooood!

Good news number two...I have been attempting to become a qualified England field hockey umpire this year. I took the written assessment last year (it was darn hard) and have been umpiring games since. At 11:30am, I was assessed during a game. And it was a tough game. Umpiring men's games, particularly at men's 3 level, is quite tough - they give you much stick if they think you made a poor call. But according to the 'assessor', I was quietly confident in my game calling. The best news of all is that I was asssessed to be a higher level than the normal introductory level (1D) and given a rating of 1B, which means I can umpire any game that my club plays this year! Woo hoo. It's quite an honour (and yes, I'm bragging!).

Good news three...I played for the Ladies' One team. Usually I play for the Ladies' Twos. And ya know what? I didn't give up a goal (I'm a goalie). And I made some great saves. At 37, I played at a very high level of hockey!!! Yeah, me!

Good news four...R. and I celebrated our two year anniversary. We went to a cool restaurant, Rodizio Rico. And while we could have stuffed ourselves, we were actually quite restrained. Yes, we were full at the end of the evening...but not crazy full. It was fun and a great ending to a wonderful day!

27 October 2006

Doggy Love

Today on the GG website, we are talking about the dogs we have adopted or the ones we'd like to. In seeing all of this, I decided to finally check out the Dog Trust website that I've seen on the t.v. ( http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/) and sponsor a dog. I'm sponsoring Harvey. If you live in the UK, I'm urging you to contribute to the site in some way. If you live in the US, then check out the following site: Nikeno's Second Chances and sponsor a dog there. Either way, our best friends will be the winners!

I adopted a dog named Amber a few years ago. I had to move to a place that didn't accept dogs and my brother & sis-in-law decided to take her in. She now gets to live on a boarding school campus and have lots of love. Adopting a dog who had been abused before was one of the best things I ever did. She became a bundle of love. If I get another chance someday to have a back garden, I'll definately get another abandoned dog!

25 October 2006

Memories

So. What is your first memory as a child? The thing that comes to my mind is quite interesting. I grew up on a boarding school campus. We were living in the second floor of a big ol' Victorian house that was across the street from the rest of the campus. It was next to the gym, which was great as I could run around in there and make lots of noise on the wooden floors (remember those days?).

My first memory is one on the campus. It was a cool morning. I was in my favorite feety pajamas and we were heading to breakfast in the cafeteria (we all got free food which my mom LOVED). I remember being able to fit between the metal rungs in one area of the fencing...someone has pulled them apart a bit. I must have been 3 or 4 at the time. And the ground was crunchy and I had freedom to run across the field to the caf. My mom didn't have to worry about anyone snatching me or me getting hurt...there were always people around.

It's such a happy memory. I was a lucky child - my early life was very easy and was full of people who hugged me a lot. From around 4 to 7, I lived in a new place, a boy's dorm. And the boys thought I was cool. It gave them the opportunity to be sweet - they could hold a little girl on their lap and make faces...cause, ya know, it's only a little kid. And in those days, no one would worry about pediphaelia. It allowed a little girl to have a bunch of big brothers and a bunch of boys to be able to show a soft side...one they rarely were able to show without getting made fun of by the others.

Yup - I was lucky.

24 October 2006

Mehndi

If you've been reading my blog, you'll remember that I'm having a mixed religion ceremony...Hindu and Christian. In addition, I'll be celebrating both South Asian and American/UK traditions during the wedding/reception. One such tradition in South Asia is something called mehndi. Mehndi is a 'temporary tattoo' of sorts. You apply henna to the skin, allow it to dry and then keep away from water for a while. You can have all sorts of patterns and colours, though traditionally the colours are a reddish brown to black.

Most South Asian brides have a mehndi ceremony before their wedding, where you get very cool designs on your hands and feet. More likely than not, I'll just have something more simple, as I'll have a friend work with me (she's an artist). I, too, am learning how to do this so that I can apply designs to my bridal party. So...I tried it this past weekend. Nothing too complicated but here's an example of what I did on my left hand:
It's nothing much but I was just curious about what a pre-made cone would do. I think I'd rather mix my own henna and work from there...plus as I'm not doing a ton of designs, I'll use a bottle with a metal tip instead of the bag.

I also put a pattern on my foot though the pic didn't come out well. I've done a lot of reading and found some cool stuff. Here's one pic of mehndi that I really like:

In this pic, the henna is still drying so you don't get to see the darkness of it...but I really like the patterns and would love something like it.

For my bridesmaids, I'll probably take aspects of this and use them to have something a touch more simple (it takes a load of time to do!).

23 October 2006

More wedding stuff

Today I got some news regarding the wedding weekend. My aunt (on my dad's side) has offered to pay for a post-wedding party...the Sunday brunch. This is HUGE! I'll probaby have anywhere from 50 to 75 out of town guests, so it'll be a chance to see them once again. Now I just have to figure out where to have this brunch. The hotel that I have booked for out of town guests does have a brunch but not sure if they could handle us...we'll have to see. Phone calls will be made this weekend!

Second bit of news - we can host the rehearsal dinner at my old boarding school in a big conference room. We'll order in pizza and wings. A nice place that will cost me NADA! And pizza and wings are easy and inexpensive. Oh, and lots of parking for everyone.

So two things that will cost me less than expected...woo hoo! A few more things figured out...a bit less stress for me!

It's amazing just how expensive this whole wedding thing is, especially if you have tons of family and lots of friends coming from other areas. It's actually the one thing that does stress me out about the wedding...I'm not worried about whether everything is 'perfect'...which may make me a non-bridezilla...whatever that is!

21 October 2006

You know you've been in UK too long when...

*You pick out a hover mower and are more interested in how long the electric cord is rather than asking the staff where the self propelled mowers are located.

* You have given up complaining about lack of drive up ATMS and parking miles away from the shops. You have actually purchased a rolling shopping bag.

* You start to accept queuing (getting in a line) as a way of life.

*You think a Nissan is a big truck

*When approaching a round-about the thought of how much easier it would be to just turn right no longer crosses your mind as you fight the merging traffic to go in an almost complete circle.

* You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear high street clothes. Jeans and a T-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

* You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Southern Americans on TV!

* You think $70 for a haircut is quite reasonable.

* You are on to your 19th umbrella and your second overcoat.

* You buy a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.

* You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all, I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

*You can cook entire meal not using a can, jar,box or packet.

*You think lamb & Mint, Marmite Yeast Extract, pickled onion, Roast chicken, and steak & Onion are normal flavours for Crisps. (Potatoe Chips)

* You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or cares.

* Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

* You begin to believe that a family day out involves taking the kids to the local pub.

* You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

* More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

* You only just realise you have lost your Sunglasses, you left them on a visit back home 2 summers ago.

* You realise your sunburn cream is the stuff you originally bought from home with you.

* A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

(These are thanks to a poster at UK-Yankee.com)

While all of these don't apply to me, they do apply to some people in the UK...and do explain a lot about the culture. I find them quite amusing!

20 October 2006

Baby cakes...

Today I began the topic of development in my psychology class. I love to talk about pregnancy as most kids really don't know what goes on in there. I showed a film that had pictures from within the womb and then we talked about what develops on the body & when. It's facinating at what our cells are able to do in such a short period of time. Humans are amazing!

When my mom was preggers, she was so excited. She couldn't believe that a life would be coming out of her body. And she almost got me as a Christmas gift. I decided to hang on though and arrive the following day. I gave the first hint of my coming at around 4am. She ended up at the hospital at 8:30am. There she stayed for a while...contractions and all. And then it got close to time. But something went wrong. She had a contraction that held. One that lasted at least 15 minutes - they don't know as they weren't keeping an eye on it. But it meant that I was not getting the oxygen that I needed.

When I was born at around 10pm, I was given the Apgar test. My score was a 1. It is not good at all! The first time my dad saw me, I was in a nurse's arms being run to the neonatal unit...he said I looked like a blue coloured rag doll...nothing was working in me hardly at all.

The worst part for my parents is that he had to wait for a full year to see if this had taken any effect...would I end up being brain damaged in any way? Well...it seems as if it didn't have any major effect, though I'm sure my lack of ability in languages and short term memory issues might have something to do with it. But irregardless I turned out okay. I went from almost lifeless to a very happy baby to a decently okay adult.

R. & I have talked about trying to have kids. At my age, it kinda scares me. Will I have the energy? Will I actually be able to have a child? Could I handle a baby with mental or physical issues? I think whatever happens, we'll deal.

19 October 2006

Food for thought

I am proud of myself. I'm in the midst of the dreaded monthlies and as always, have been craving both salt and chocolate. But I have resisted. Last night after eating dinner, R. and I had to run to the store to get milk and shaving cream. I declared that I wanted chocolate. Despite my previous declaration of wanting to lose weight (R. decided he wants to jump on this bandwagon to). R. was so excited about chocolate. Well...we got to the store and went to the candy isle. And ya know what. I decided NOT to get chocolate or the crisps that were calling out my name. Woo hoo. I may not have gone to the gym yesterday, and I ate a bit too much at dinner...but I took the first step. And that decision will help as will every other positive one I make.

We returned from the store probably around 8:15pm. R. made himself some hot chocolate (he calls it hot milk, which I still think is quite funny) and he made me some tea (too much milk late at night is not good for my tummy). And then we went to bed. We sat drinking our drinks for a while, chatting, and then turned off the lights and chatted for about 1-1/2 hours. We call it our bed talk time. Usually it happens every night for about a 1/2 hour, but with being tired, we decided to get into bed really early and hope for an early bed hour for sleep. 10ish wasn't too bad and we were able to talk about a lot of stuff...hopes, dreams, etc. I love that time. And we also got a good night sleep too!

Now for the only bad thing. I forgot to put my engagement ring back on after doing my hair. I hate getting all the gooey stuff on my ring while working it into my hair, so I take it off and put it by my bedside. And I forgot about it. I was rushing around doing stuff...and I forgot. So I'm here at work feeling all nekked. I've had the ring for long enough that it's become a part of me. And I feel guilty. Like I'm hiding something. But I'm not. So the lesson learned here...move my ring box into the bathroom so that I can put it on immediately after doing my hair instead of waiting until later.

18 October 2006

Gain and loss

171 Days to go until the wedding. While it sounds like quite a few days, it's a lot less than I wanted to have when actually starting to lose some weight. And yes, I know I've talked about it a ton, but I haven't gotten off my sweet ass to actually do anything about it. And somehow I did lose a few pounds, but not enough.

When I was living on my own in Boston, I ate quite healthily. Yes, there were days I ate junk, but overall I kept away from sweets and didn't eat things like crisps or chips (chips or french fries). But here it seems as if all bets are off. I've been eating like a teenager and it's just not working. Thus gaining 15 pounds in the 2 years I've been here...and I've gone up 2 sizes. It's not that I'm fat or even heavy looking (I was quite thin beforehand).

So here it is. I'm starting. I'm going to try to lose at least 10 lbs. And I'm going to go to the gym to tone everything up. I used to get so many compliments on my legs - they were well muscled but not gross and kids in sports that I coached used to say they wanted legs like mine. Not anymore. But they will again!

There will be a few good things to come out of this fitness & weight loss program:

1. Fitting into clothing much better. And not having to buy new clothes as I have some lovely things that I just don't fit into. Saving money is good right now.

2. Getting into my wedding dresses and looking really good in them - toned arms in a sleeveless dress...check.

3. Getting fit. I'd like to be able to run around and not feel breathless. I want to go to hockey training and kick tushie.

4. Feeling better about myself. Overall I like who I am. I just don't like my bod at this moment. Yes, I know it's typical to women, but I did like my body overall 10 lbs ago, so I want to get back to that.

5. Better sex life. The better I feel about myself, the more I want it. And that will in turn make for a better relationship between R. and me!

So...171 days. I can do it. My hope is to lose at least 2 pounds by the end of the month. I'll let you know!

17 October 2006

Pictures from L'Estartit, Spain


Have to say...it was a fun time!

16 October 2006

The Visit

What does it mean to be a woman? What does it mean to be a man? Could I be detected if I wanted to live life as a man?

Today and tomorrow, Norah Vincent is visiting my classroom to talk about her experiences as a 'man' for one year. I find this facinating and hope that my classes do as well. It'll be a good feed into the chapter on developmental psychology which I've now chosen to do after this (instead of my usual sensation & perception topic).

It's an interesting topic. One that has been argued for centuries...our differences, our similarities. And even more so, how we deal with these. I know that it's been easier to be a therapist and a woman...it's so much more expected. But to get a job as a counselor in a school, you have an advantage if you are a man.

And then there's whether it's better to be a man or woman. R. and I have this argument all the time. Personally, I kinda like being a woman a lot.

14 October 2006

How to help a friend

How do you tell a friend that she ought not listen to her long distance boyfriend?

Last night we went out with my friend, A., and her boyfriend, P.. While hanging out with R., P. revealed that he doens't think that A. is the woman for his future. They have been dating off and on for 10 years. And A. is planning on moving back to the States for him as she thinks he's going to marry her or at least make her his lifelong partner. Why does she think that? He says things such as 'see...that's why I haven't given you a ring yet' or 'yes, I think it would be interesting to find a job in the UK'. He gives her just enough to make her think he's into her...and she ignores the other things he says that point in a bad direction. He told R. that he doesn't see himself married or having children. Two things A. really wants. And she's convincing herself that she could just live with him, not getting married.

I so don't want her to give up a job she loves in this city she loves for someone who is lying to her. To someone who just doesn't have the balls to just break it off. To someone who wants to cheat on her (confirmed) and most likely already has (not confirmed).

If she was going to move to be closer to her family or because she truly wanted to be back in the States, then I would be all for it. I'd miss her but I'd support this. But not for a guy who won't commit.

What do I say to her? I can't divulge his conversation with R. But I also don't want her to be hurt in the long run and give up her London opportunity. Sigh. Boys suck sometimes.

12 October 2006

When a sweater saved the day

There are many reasons to love autumn in London. The nights are cooler so sleeping is very comfy, particularly under a warm duvet. People want to snuggle up a lot more so love seems to be in the air. And best of all...big sweaters.

Last night I went out with a workmate, her boyfriend and a few others. We went to Belgo Noord for the mussels and beer. Now, I haven't been drinking beer in order to try to lose some weight (it hasn't really helped to be honest). So...I decided to have a few last night. Belgium beers are particularly yummy as was the food. But the downside of drinking beer when you're not used to it is found in the next morning. Beer bloat.

Now coupled with PMS and the beer bloat, finding something to wear this morning was a touch rough. The outfit I had chosen the night before just wasn't right with my big ol' tummy. So I found the ultimate autumn outfit...slouchy trousers and a slightly roomy cable knit sweater from the States. It's a lovely periwinkle colour so it doesn't look too ick. I look rather New Englandy I'd say with my clogs on the feet. And my tummy is not exposed too much...is it sweater or is it tummy? :-)

So, autumn is good for those fat days, while still remaining warm enough not to need the big winter coat. Ah...memories of American football and hot cocoa...one of those few things I miss from the States.

10 October 2006

The thing about scuba that is totally cool is that it's like flying but underwater. At least once you learn how to do it.

I remember my first trip to learn scuba. I was quite nervous about it. We're not meant to be attempting to breathe underwater...but I did. You start off with a snorkle and swim around. As someone who had never even done that, it was a bit off-putting. I'm so used to breathing through my nose, but you can't or you end up snorting water (and yes, I did this to the kids delight). Then they get you into your gear. It's frickin' heavy above water. With a weight belt, strapped into a kit with a huge tank and in a wetsuit, you feel a bit claustrophobic. And we weren't doing this in a pool like most people...no, we were in the ocean from the start. So vision was a bit touchy. You learn how to use the instruments on the gear and as you release air from your BCD (like a life jacket), you slowly sink. As you head down into the water, you have to 'equalize', which means you learn to get rid of that pressure building up in your ears (like the pressure you feel when you fly but worse). If you can't do this, you can't dive. You have to go down slowly or you WILL feel pain.

Then at bottom (about 8 meters), you do tasks...like letting water into your mask and then getting rid of it. Now who in their right mind WANTS water in their mask? It's an awful feeling and you definitely get water up your nose. Ick! But you learn how to do it well. Then you learn how to take the entire mask off and put it back on. Even worse! But the hardest thing to do is to remove your breathing apparatus and breathe the air bubbles while letting it free flow through your regulator (the breathing ap). It's SCARY. But I survived this last year. And got my Scuba Diver certification.

This year was a walk in the park in comparison. Yes, I had to remove my mask and put it back on. Yes, I had to remove all my gear and put it back on. But I knew how to do it. And it wasn't as scary. I'm glad that I had this break in-between as I was able to have some time to think about it all during the year in the middle.

We got to go on dives that were amazing. At one point, I was hovering at 15 meters and a school of fish surrounded me. Tons of shiny blue & brown fish just swimming around. Orange starfish dotting the surface. An eel that seemed quite nervous. A fish that looked like the spiney coral bits below. It was SO COOL.

Never in my mind did I think that this would be something I'd want to do. But I really like it. I don't have the money to go on lots of trips and R. doesn't know how to do it so I'd hate to go on my own...but I may try it on my honeymoon in St Lucia. I'm just happy to have been given this amazing opportunity. I love working at this school!

09 October 2006

Scuba

I'm baaaa-ccck!

So. Where was I and what the heck was I doing? Well...three adults (including me) took a group of 24 students scuba diving in L'Estartit, Spain. Each year our school hosts trips in both the UK and in the Continent. I did the trip last year and have to say that this year was even better.

We left VERY early a.m. from school and headed off to the airport. We finally made it to our place a few hours later and began the process of getting scuba gear. I was most excited as I was going to end up certified as an Open Water Diver and have a few dives toward my advanced certification. And I made it. As did most of our kids. We had a ton of beginners who ended up with Scuba Diver certs and a few who went on to become more advanced. Only 2 dropped out...which is not bad.

Excitingly, we had a group of kids who were good beans. They got quiet when we asked and seemingly didn't do anything bad. Not a bad trip. And on top of it, it was warm and I got some sun. Sweet!

03 October 2006

Spain at 6am

Going to Spain for a few days. Taking kids from work. Cross fingers I survive! ;-) Will tell stories when I get back....

02 October 2006

A Momentus 150th Post

I met the future in-laws. Yup, R's parents.

Sunday started off at 8am for me. I woke up on my own and just couldn't get back to sleep. So I got up, turned on the t.v. and decided to put together a small cabinet that we just hadn't gotten to. We needed the extra storage.

Then finally R. woke up (probably due to the hammering sound around 9am). We sat, had tea, discussed our action plan for the day and then had breakfast. The day before R had seemed like he wanted to do a lot that day to get ready for his parents, but he was a lump for a while. I think the stress of everything had hit. Finally at 11am I told him he had to get ready to run our errands...and he did.

We went to the mall, Brent Cross, to pick up a pair or two of new shoes for me for work (bad shoes from States!), to go to Boots and to pick up moisturizer at the Body Shop. I found two pairs of cute work shoes (one may have to get returned...we'll see), found some makeup I wanted and R. got his yummy smelling moisturizer for his dry bod.

We did this in less than 1 hour and headed home to start lunch for his folks, as well as finish cleaning the house. I was a mad woman - cleaned the bathroom (again), wiped down the kitchen (again), R. vaccuumed a ton and we straightened things up. The flat looked quite lovely by the end. And then I began to make the fajitas! Yup, I was going to introduce them to a bit of Americana (the bit that I like). So sliced up some veg and chicken, poured spice all over them and stir-fried away. Before putting them in the oven for the final cook/keeping warm, I added a touch of salsa so nothing would dry out.

And then we waited.

They showed up precisely at 2pm. And I got a smile from his mum and a gruff hello from his father. We went and sat on the couch for a bit of small talk. As you can suspect, it was awkward! Finally R. suggested that we go and eat (I was starving so happy he did so)...and it got a bit less weird. Things relaxed. And they enjoyed my meal (or at least it seemed like they did). We then went and sat back on the couch and we relaxed. Phew. I actuallly was having some fun. Dad relaxed and we got into a conversation about family. Mum smiled at me a lot. I was even invited to their house this weekend to meet an aunt. They remained in our flat until about 4:30 or so. And smiled at me as they left.

Both R. & I were relieved...and exhausted...happy it went okay!

28 September 2006

Obsession

I consider myself quite a level-headed person. Someone who can see beyond hype and not get to crazy over most things. After we got engaged, I told R. that I wouldn't go crazy over the wedding. That I wouldn't become a 'bridezilla'...and I don't think I've gone that far. But I will say that I'm surprised at the slight obsession that I've started having about the wedding.

I have a lovely red binder that holds all my organizational info. I have places for our budget (we're on target so far), a timeline (behind in some things, ahead in others), pictures of everything one would include in a wedding, etc. And I look at it every day. No, there's nothing new in the folder, but I still look at the pictures. I look at the possible flowers that I could use...here's a few examples:



But that's not all I look at. I also look at hair styles and Indian outfits and confetti...etc, etc, etc.

And then I go on those wedding websites, like The Knot or Brides. And I read about what everyone else is doing or has done...and I look at their Bios. And then I worry that my wedding isn't enough. That they're doing all these cool things that I'm not doing. And mainly it's cause I'm not willing to spend as much money as these women. I'm on a budget. And I don't have $25,000+ to spend on a wedding. And in reality, I wouldn't want to. But there's a bit of jealousy going on. And I hate it.

The hype to spend in weddings is huge. There are ads and cool pictures and wedding websites and t.v. shows. And they don't show the simple things that look great...they show the big events. And so, even if you don't want it to, it makes you feel like your wedding is going to be inadequate.

A wedding ought to be about the gathering of friends and family to celebrate the marriage of two people. It ought not be about what colours you're using, or having the perfect favour that everyone will probably throw away...but for even the most level headed of us, the details sometimes get in the way.

I look forward to my wedding day. I hope to have fun, eat and drink, look pretty and have a good party for everyone. But I don't want to go into my wedding day all stressed out. So I'm going to have to pull back from looking at my binder and at those websites. It's time for a wedding planning breather. A saner approach to life.