Assault on your senses

Horns blaring, not in anger, but to say "I am here".

A little child, knocking on the car window at a stop, trying to sell you some small thing, and then accepting your half-full bottle of water as a treat.

The pigeons roosting just outside your window.

The sound of the garbage wala, yelling that he is here to buy your trash, which will be sold on later.

Street dogs fighting for the least of scraps.

The crowds walking around the market, trying to buy that very latest thing, perhaps for Christmas or for themselves.

A house maid talking Hindi to a squirmly active toddler.

Dust all around, clinging to the base of your jeans.

A cow. An elephant. And even a camel.

The red and gold of a winter wedding, drummers at the ready for the groom to begin his journey toward his bride.

The buzz of a mosquito.

The smiles of your new family coming to greet you.

The sun. The warmth upon your winter skin.

The chill of the night air as you slowly drift to sleep.

Happy Holidays!

12 Days of Christmas by 'Straight No Chase'. It's so worth watching!!!

Almost there...

I apologize. It's been a while. But school is winding down. We had parent teacher conferences last week, then party season hit. And now, in five days, I will be off to India.

I'm really excited. I'll get to see Delhi again. I'll get to see the Golden Temple of Amritsar and the closing of the Pakistan-India gate for the first time. I'll get to meet a lot of Roy's family.

I'm really nervous. I don't want to get sick. I want this to go well for his parents. I'll have to meet a lot of Roy's family.

So much coming up...so quickly. But I promise to write a lot when I return in January. I'm sure I'll have tons of stories. I'm bringing a diary to write in and a camera for pics. And so I'll post them all.

Happy Holidays if I don't get a chance to write again soon! And a Happy New Year!

Dark

As I walked up the ramp to wait for my train, I realized that it was dark. Not just kinda dark, but really dark. Yes, winter has finally taken hold. There's this moment when you go from getting dark to really being in the midst of an inky sky. And that's when you realize that it's going to be dark when you also leave from work. And so, if you don't leave your windowless office to go look out a window or to take a walk, you will be without any sort of daylight at all that day.

That's why it was good that I got outside on Saturday, despite it being cold and rainy. I went with a friend to Wembley, Ealing Road, to eat some Indian food, get my eyebrows threaded and do a little bit of shopping. I walked from my flat to the Wilesden Green tube station and then when we returned from Wembley, walked up from Kilburn Park Station (overground train) to Cricklewood. Even in the grossness, it was just lovely to breathe the air and soak up the holiday spirit while dodging the random people who decided to just STOP right there on the sidewalk and block everyone's path. Urban exercise at its best!

So I'm going to try to get out of this building a few times this week. I think it will be a sanity saver.

There she blows!

It was difficult to sleep last night. The howling of the winds was so extreme that our windows shook and the trees were thrashing about. I was not looking forward to leaving the flat if it kept going in the morning.

And it did. I walked out of our building into a maelstrom of wind. My fine curly hair was whipped into a frenzy such that I could barely see. I was certain that I'd end up with straight hair by the time I got into school. Everyone was leaning forward, straining to get where they wanted to go.

Memories of my time in the Netherlands came to mind. That extreme storm that buffetted the coast. At least it wasn't raining. Umbrellas would have been sent to their death in this weather.

Eyes wide open

The sun is out. I can see it streaming through my classroom windows which are located way up high. It's so nice to actually see sun during this time of the year.

I tend to leave for work around 7:30am. In the winter, this is before the sun is really up in the sky. And usually it seems to be dreary even when it is 'light'. I go to my office for most of the day which doesn't have a window. And then I leave around 4pm and again it's usually on it's way to getting dark. There are days when I don't see anything but dark.

So on these days, when it is sunny out, I try my darndest to get out of my office and take a walk. Maybe during lunch. Sometimes during a regular period of the day. It's the only way to make it through the dark, cold winter here. It's why I went with my MIL to Southall this past Saturday - it was a nice day to walk around and shop the stalls. I even had to wear sunglasses. Yup, it was lovely.

STOP!

Public transportation can be frustrating even in the best of times. And usually I can just blow it off. But not today.

I saw the C-11 bus pulling past my stop as I came out of the car park this morning (we have private parking for our flat). That's not unusual so I figured I'd get the 189 or the next C-11. As I was standing on the sidewalk, trying to cross the road to my stop, I saw the 189 in the distance. Score!

There was a small break in the traffic so that I could run across just before the bus was getting to my stop. I was waving my arms to let the bus driver know to stop.

AND HE DIDN'T. That's right. I signalled to him that I wanted the bus. But he kept going.

I am not one to curse, but I just let out a storm. What a "!$£(*%*(£!!!!!

So today, I went back to the train, which I made just in time. And somehow it wasn't over-crowded too much so I didn't have to squeeze in or yell to get people to move, which is the reason why I stopped going on the train. So maybe, at least this week, I'll go back and try the train out again. Cause I am that pissed off at the buses today.

Gotta get me a shot

I don't have much fear about getting Delhi Belly. I have quite a strong stomach, I'll be in good hands and I barely felt a twinge of anything the last time I went to India for two weeks. Maybe I was born with a lot of good bacteria that does strong work or something.

But I did have a HUGE fear of having to get injections as a preventative measure. Cause I didn't get them before my last trip and my husband was 'highly encouraging' me to go get them this time.

When I was much younger, a small girl, I developed a phobia about needles and bees. My dad and I think that somehow they are connected (sting/needle...it works). I would scream bloody murder if a bee flew anywhere near me. But it was worse for my parents if I had to go to the doctors.

One year, I found out that I was going to be getting an injection. Probably one of those things that you have to get every few years or so. I don't know why they did it, but they left me on my own in the examining room. There was a huge black plastic bin for garbage. When the nurse returned to give me my shot, I wasn't visible. Yes, that's right, I was in hiding in the bin. I cared more about getting a shot than about getting into garbage.

As I got older, I continued to have problems with shots. As a sophomore in college, I was required to get another MMR as my generation's shot didn't 'take' or something like that. I went in, trying to be calm. And I was. But after I left the room, I sat down and passed out. I could see the black veil coming over my eyes. It wasn't a good feeling.

I decided once I began to teach and had to help with a blood drive that I needed to get over it. And the only way was to actually give blood. I have a desirable blood type, so it made sense. The first time, I both passed out and threw up. I still feel sorry for the nurses who had to deal with me for one hour. The next time, I just passed out. And it got better and better. I was still anxious, still felt a bit sick/dizzy, but I felt that I had beaten this phobia through the power of CBT.

So now, three years after having not gotten a shot or given blood (not sure why), I had to go and get injections for India. And the fear returned. Would I pass out? Would I get sick?

Well...I did some of my old breathing and self-talk stuff...and I was fine. Yes, I was anxious, but I didn't even feel a touch dizzy. But man, that Typhoid injection really, really hurts later on...I could barely move my arm for two days and even now, a few more days later, I can feel the site where the shot took place!

In goal

I stand there. My right hand is getting a bit cold, but that makes sense as the goalie glove covering it is not as closed as the one on my left hand. Can't believe that when we got here the pitch was frozen. But we're playing this game as no one wants to have to come out this early in a few weeks time. Let's get it over with. We're okay with playing.

The ball is at the other end of the pitch. 'Come on West Hampstead', I call. I hope that they can keep it up there. Maybe even score.

The ball moved down the pitch. One of the forwards did a bad tackle. Tweet. It's the oppo's ball. A hard hit and they are halfway toward my goal. Come on girls, get a move on it. Block that ball.

Ah, no, it's gotten past my midfield line. I hope that someone goes on her. 'Kelly, take her', I shout. But the ball gets passed to their best player, who then does a great move past her defender.

It's just her and me. I can do this. Focus on the ball. Should I slide? No, stay up. Ready on your toes. That's it, you got the shot. Now get ready in case it comes back your way.

'Push it out right', 'Come on do it', yelling as hard as I can. And off it goes, back across the 50. Another moment in time. Another feeling of relief that they didn't score. Breathe out.

'Come on Hampstead. Keep it up there.'

Nanny

My grandmother, Nanny, died in her sleep the night before Thanksgiving. So I got a call yesterday afternoon about it. Nanny was my cool grandmother. She had been born in England and came over the US with her family when she was only 9. She was an artist who had gotten her degree in Italy and then went on to teach at a private school in NJ. Nanny had the travel bug and every time we went to visit, showed me something she had collected in her world travels. And I mean world - she and my grandpa (or on her own after he died) went to every continent and so many countries. I got my bug to travel and explore from her. I came to appreciate the world of art from her. In her last year, she was struggling as she was finally fully blind (a degenerative eye disease) and wheelchair bound. She was very ready to die at the age of 91. I won't be able to go back for a funeral and I'll miss her a lot. She was my inspiration.

On the bus...

I'm an eavesdropper by nature. I know, it's a bad habit. But I never do it to people I know...good excuse, eh?

The bus always seems to be a great place to listen in to all sorts of funny conversations, from two little old ladies talking about the best place to get their hair set to the near incomprehensible chatter of the little kids.

Yesterday, I got onto a very packed bus, so I had to go to the very back and sit next to two teenage girls on their way home from school. From the conversation I gathered that they were around 14 or 15.

Just as I plotted next to them, the word 'sex' came out. I couldn't help myself. I had to listen from that moment onward. It's not a long trip - about 10 minutes - so I was certain that this little snippet would be quite interesting...and yes, it was that.

They began by talking about first times, their own as well as other girls. I was a bit disturbed that at such a young age they were talking about how wonderful it all ways and whatnot. That so many of their friends had done it for the first time in their early teens. I'm almost certain that the 'wonderfulness' was more that a boy wanted them and was 'showing their love', than any true pleasure. Teenagers are not known for their unselfishness and so I'm almost certain that most boys would have no clue how to, let's say, pleasure these girls.

One girl then moved on to talk about how much she missed sex. (At 15?!!) And the word, vibrator, came up. They declared that no, vibrators are only for lonely ugly lesbians. Oh, how I wanted to let them know that many heterosexual women and indeed couples actually loved vibrators and that they could be part of a healthy sexual life. But I held back.

Finally they talked about how they got caught by their parents in different ways - be it a hickey or in bed with a boy. All I know is that if Roy or I catch a child of ours in bed with someone else at that age, they won't be seeing daylight until they are 25. And their partner might start running now, cause it wouldn't be pretty.

Oh the meanderings of teenage girls. Ten minutes of sex talk. Giggles. And sighs. I just had to get off the bus, shaking my head, and hope that I can teach my kids to wait until they are a bit more mature and emotionally ready to handle it all. And that sex, by that time, is still something to treasure.

Grease!

The very name brings back memories of standing on a friend's bed, hairbrush in hand, record player twirling as we belt out the songs to our favorite movie. We were too young to have a crush on Danny...but thought it'd be cool to be Sandy.

I've seen the movie a dozen or so times. And when the songs come on the radio or at a dance, I'm definitely there singing my heart out.

So yesterday, when my friend Mariam asked me if I wanted to go see the show cause she won free tickets, I had to say 'YES!'. It's a cool thing that the school has promoted...if a parent has an extra ticket or two for some sort of event, they can donate it to the school who then puts out a raffle. Everything from musicals to music to museums. It's one of those little things you appreciate!

Mariam didn't have the fever. She had seen it once when she was very little. Didn't know the songs and couldn't remember the story too well. She had chosen well...I would help educate her in the world of Grease!

We talked about the music of the times, the way things were about to change and what it would have been like to grow up in the 50s. This was the time that my dad had grown up around. Music from that era had been played in my house all the time. I remember dancing with my daddy, on his feet, rockin' and a rollin' all night long (or so it goes).

The musical is not a great one, but it's tons of fun. You want to get up and dance. But as we were in the THIRD ROW, it didn't seem appropriate. We could see the actors up close, really hear them sing and see them sweat. It was amazing.

So I had a blast. It was worth being tired today to have that happy night.

Grease is the word, is the word, is the word....

Free rice - it's more than just a meal

I just started playing a new game. It's on www.freerice.com. It's very cool! Here's a bit of adverstisement from their site:

About FreeRice

FreeRice is a sister site of the world poverty site, Poverty.com.

FreeRice has two goals:
Provide English vocabulary to everyone for free.
Help end world hunger by providing rice to hungry people for free.
This is made possible by the sponsors who advertise on this site.
Whether you are CEO of a large corporation or a street child in a poor country, improving your vocabulary can improve your life. It is a great investment in yourself.
Perhaps even greater is the investment your donated rice makes in hungry human beings, enabling them to function and be productive. Somewhere in the world, a person is eating rice that you helped provide.


So for every vocab word you get correct, you donate 10 grains of rice. It's a wonderful site as not only are you doing good for other people, but you also learn. And what's cool is that the site has a way of figuring out where you are in your vocab level so you aren't challenged too greatly, but challenged enough that you'll constantly get to learn new words. I think that's great. I've passed the site on to our college counselors and to the head of our English department. Kids need this!

So - join in and learn...donate your time and earn rice. Activism in this way is awesome!

The muscles are burning...

I'm in pain. Not as much as I was on Saturday or yesterday, but definitely more than before I left for my trip to the Netherlands.

Somehow, the other coach, Marisa, decided that since there wasn't a gym in our hotel, that we should run the stairs. All TEN flights. And four times. Two days running.

Now, as you must know from reading this, I haven't gotten into much exercise as of late, especially running of any form. So here I was, pushing myself up the stairs. And that was fine. I did a great job doing it. But the results were crazy.

My calves are burning. They are so knotted it's crazy. Walking down stairs is not pretty.

Lesson learned. Well...it could be that exercise is evil...but I've decided that it means I should do more. So today I'm going to walk home from work - it takes about 50 minutes or so to get there on a good day and it's all uphill (slightly), so it'll be a good step toward that regular exercise thing that I can do now that high school field hockey is over.

Here's a pic of my team at the game:

Yes...they are crazy!

Storming on the Netherlands Coast

It's all okay.

It's been busy, but that's no excuse to not blog for so long. I have grades due on Wednesday morning, we're heading out of town for a field hockey tourney on Wednesday, I had to grade...well, you get the gist. But still, no excuse.

Life is going okay. Roy and I have passed the six month mark and we're still having fun. We laugh a lot. We both wish we had more time to be relaxed with each other (for obvious reasons), but we're still intimate in other ways...like holding hands and smooching and the like. We just like each other and still fancy the pants off each other...it's all good.

School is going okay. I'm crazy busy with everything that is going on, and trying to get ready for a sub, plus finishing up writing comments and putting in grades for my two classes. I do enjoy teaching and seeing kids get interested. But the topic of the ear and eye and nose, etc, are not thrilling me. Can't wait to get past this so I will be more excited to teach.

Social life is going okay. Went to a party on Saturday night and it was fun. We just hung out, watched a touch of fireworks (going on for a while due to Bonfire Night and Diwali and the like) and just chatted. Good red wine rounded it all out. In the near future - will be going to see a movie with a friend next week and then having people over for Thanksgiving. Yeah, not bad. Not crazy but then again, I'm getting older...

So life. It's okay. Lots to plan. Time to look forward. And still crossing my fingers that the frickin' flat sells!

My fast

So I got up at 5:30am on Sunday to make myself a huge breakfast....I had two fried eggs, a bagel and 1-1/2 sausages, plus a few Indian sweets per the tradition. I drank some orange juice and tea. And then got ready to not eat for quite a few hours.

I spent the day watching some t.v., then going into work to grade/work on lecture, then went to see a movie (Indian, 4 Women) and then hung out at home waiting patiently for the hour that my MIL would arrive and I'd get my first sip of water and first bite to eat. It was 7-something before that happened.

But it made them happy and my DH has promised that we'll have a fancy night out on the town and a night at a good London hotel (something we've enjoyed in the past) next month. It was not as hard as I imagined. I guess that not being able to eat due to this made it easier - I wasn't really hungry, more thirsty. And I wasn't too grumpy. A purposeful fast is easier than just having to wait to eat when you are going out to dinner (or the like).

Brrrrr!

Last night we switched from our patchwork quilt to our duvet. Much warmer and snugglier. I loved getting under the poofy cotton and feeling enveloped in the heat.

Today as I was walking out the door, I thought to myself, "I ought to have switched to my wool jacket and I need to find my gloves". I usually wear a nice knee length rain jacket (it's a lovely looking jacket - not athletic looking or shiny).

There's a touch of frost in the air. And I brought a thick fleece to wear to field hockey practice.

It's definitely hinting at winter.

And yet, last night, as I walked home along a lovely suburban road, I saw roses still blooming and green grass. It's one of the interesting things about London weather - we feel like winter is coming along and yet throughout the entire process we'll still be surrounded by green and colours. A funky paradox for someone who came over here from a place where it tends to snow in December.

A fast

This Sunday will be my first Karwa Chauth. What is this you ask? Well, here's a few words from the Karwa Chauth website (www.karwachauth.com).

The festival and fast of Karva Chauth is celebrated with much exuberance and fanfare. It is considered an important and auspicious day for married women. A married woman celebrates this day with great fervor and dedication, by observing a fast and praying for the long life of her husband.

The fast is observed during the month of Kartik on the fourth day of Krishna Paksha (descending moon). This generally falls in the month of October.

The earliest reference of a Karva Chauth can be found in the great epic of Mahabharata. As per Mahabharata, Arjun, a supreme warrior and one of the Pandavas, went to the Nilgiri Hills to offer his prayers and worship the gods. Draupadi, wife of the Pandavas, was accompanying him. On the way, Draupadi was struck with fear believing that she was alone in the forest with no one to protect her. As she treated Lord Krishna as her Brother, she invoked him to appear before her and help her out of this grave situation. On listening to her fear and perplexity, Lord Krishna cited an example of Goddess Parvati. Parvati in a similar situation asked Lord Shiva's help. Lord Shiva explained to her that to ward off such apprehensions, a woman could observe a fast on Kartik Krishna Chaturthi as a remedy. Lord Krishna advised Draupadi to undertake this fast and also assured her of he victory of the Pandavas. Women also pray to Lord Ganesha for the fulfillment of all their wishes.

The fast has all the trappings of festivity. Women dress up in their best finery, with henna-decked hands, bindis, colorful bangles, vermilion in their hair-parting and the best of jewelery. However, they do not eat even a morsel of food, neither drink a drop of water, from dawn till the moon rises. Finally, when the moon is sighted, the wife goes out to view it. The moon is worshiped and then she turns to view her husband's face through the pores of a sieve, praying for his long life. After performing the puja, its finally time for food.

I'll probably wear my wedding outfit for dinner, though I might just wear something else (so as to not ruin the gorgeous thing!). But I will have henna applied by my MIL on Saturday night, I will have to get up by 6am to make and eat a huge meal (I think I might have something in the fridge just to heat up and eat) and then Roy will be cooking the evening meal.

It will be interesting...I know I'm horrible when I can't eat, so I expect that I'll be totally grumpy! Can't even have water or anything like that! But as it's my first year after marriage, I definitely want to do it for my new family and new hubby!

Pink or blue?

When I was in college, I had to do a senior thesis in my subject area. As a psych major, I was really interested in children's play and the toys that they chose to play with. I did a few studies on it and found that things hadn't changed all that much between the 70s and early 90s...there were definite boy toys and girl toys...and the way the toys were portrayed in tv commercials was very stereotypical (boy toy = loud staccato music, primary colours, kids attacking, girl toy = soft friendly music, soft colours, kids playing on own or together).

And the little kids I studies also tended to play in that way. Boys tended to take just about anything and make it into a weapon. They would either be on their own (though side by side) or aggressively with each other. The girls on the other hand tended to be playing much more quietly and with each other. There seemed to be cooperation. But not all of them...and girls seemed to have more leeway in how they could play. I think this is true in so many areas - women can be very girlie but also have more masculine traits/interests...but guys struggle if they head toward the more fem areas (less so now with our metrosexuals than ever before).

I had been such a tom-boy in my day (still am a bit). I loved to play with balls, in the mud, running around...I only played with my dolls so that I could make things for the doll house (loved tools). I was the antithesis of 'girlie'. I didn't find my more feminine side until much later in life. I still don't have that need to always have the perfect makeup or hair and there are days I forget to put on my jewelry, but I'm still much more interested in clothing and shoes than even a decade ago.

So - what were your toy choices like when you were little? Were you more the girlie girl or a tom-boy or something in-between?

Yup...that's me!

So gross!

11:00pm last night. I was tired. We were going to go to bed when I saw that there was mold growing in our built in wardrobe (basically closets). Then Roy checked out his wardrobe and found TONS of clothing ruined due to the mold. WTF! Yes, it is growing rampantly in our flat, which explains our feeling icky a lot of time, especially Roy who is mold allergic.

So we cleared out the closets, put in two loads of laundry, threw out a ton of clothing and made plans to get a bunch more washed/dry cleaned.

This morning we went to B & Q and purchased anti-mold wash and paint. We are going to skip the gym sessions and attack the mold in hopes of clearing it up. We can't sell it all groady like this, so we've cancelled all viewings for the rest of the week to do this. It will work. It has to.

So - another set-back on the sales front...but at least there are people who have come to view it and want to view it. We'll see what happens.

Voulez-vous couchez...?

We were staying in self-contained flats above a restaurant/bar while on our scuba trip. There were other people staying there and it is a quiet family sort of place. We've never had an issue there. But on the last night, I had a group of my boys at the door to our flat knocking and letting me know that there was a drunk man knocking on doors inside. And while we were chatting, his equally drunk friend saw me. I sent the boys off with the idea that they would not open the door again and to tell the others not to open doors that night unless they heard it was me. Then pounding began - it was the drunken guys. They did not speak English, only french. They wouldn't go away. So finally I had to get the male teacher up to talk to them. The guys were looking for 'women', were from the Ivory Coast (thus the French) and thought I might be interested...the teacher told them that they were propositioining his wife and that the girls they saw earlier in the evening were under his charge and that they needed to leave or the police would be called. It took a while, but eventually they left. It made for a late and interesting evening. I was glad we had a male teacher with us who spoke French!

Home

I'm back! I slept about 12 hours last night after not getting much during my trip. The kids were good, but of course, loud at times. When you have a bunch of them all together they can't really help themselves.

I am now officially an Advanced Open Water diver.

Once I get some of the pics, I'll write a bit more about scuba diving. I did come back with a tan face!

From C. Michon - Grrrl Genius

For those of you who found me through the Grrl Genius blog and don't know what happened to it on I-Village, I give you the following from Cathryn who responded when I posted the question of where she was (on her myspace page):

Hey L.,
It's beyond bizarre, and I still don't truly understand what has happened there.My reps will get into it next week, I am very worried that the actions of ivillage have done me real damage in terms of my public reputation, this was so weird and unexpected, and so not what we had discussed.If you'll forgive me, I'm going to cut and paste to you what I'm sending to the many, many people who have written.I've so loved hearing all your views, both of teaching, of marriage and new love and of being an expat.Thanks for being so much fun!Cathryn
See cut and paste below:

My blog is no longer on the site, in what turned out to be some strange and unexpected drama I didn't need. Two months ago I was told that ivillage was no longer paying for blog content, but I was welcome to keep writing it for as long as I liked. After soul searching, and actually adding up how much time I was spending on it that took away from other career activities, I decided I couldn't do it any more. No controversy as far as I knew. So, below, cut and pasted is what I am sending to the many people like you who are writing and asking, and also the farewell blogpost many didn't get to read.
I suppose if you don't like how this went down you can write comments to the blog of the Love and Sex Editor Josey Miller's blog "Sex On My Desk" or to the blog of Asst. Editor Marissa Gold on "Low Carb Love."The Editor in Chief Jennie Baird has an ivillage connect page that can be found at:http://www.ivillage.com/connectYou need to join ivillage.com to leave a comment there.Thanks, and I am so sorry that we didn't get a more proper goodbye....
Best,Cathryn

B.T.W. Since I wasn't paid for it, the blogpost below is my intellectual property, and you can feel free to post it on your own blog (if you have one) or send it to anyone who was part of the amazing community of readers who gathered at the Grrl Genius blog.

TO THOSE WHO ARE ASKING, "WHAT THE #$%^?": (This is not the blogpost, that's below)

I can't imagine what was so controversial to iVillage.com about what I wrote in this blogpost that they removed every trace of me, all the Grrl Genius blogs and all the archives off the site within 12 hours. In the two years I've been there, bloggers have come and gone, but ivillage has always left their farewell blogs up for weeks and months, allowing fans to follow the blogger to wherever. There was a somewhat strong reaction from readers, a few hours after I posted the blogpost below. There were some vehement protests from my very loyal fans, about 30 comments by the time I went to bed, which is alot, but many of my readers are on east coast time, and I posted this blog at 7:00 P.M. their time. Since I regularly get over a hundred comments on blogs I am sure there would have been many, many comments on this one. I can't think that would have been a suprise to iVillage. I once got over 600 comments when I suggested that maybe, just maybe, if you are married, you should consider having sex with your husband once in a while, if you wanted that marriage to work out. It crashed their server for part of the day.If I had known what was going to happen when I posted this, I'd have done it earlier in the day, allowing the people who seem to read it every day to find out what happened. It never occured to me that iVillage would do this, as my relationship with them has always been really nice. I've had nice lunches with the iVillage ladies, and they've come to my shows. I've done a ton of national media for them, and they've always seemed really supportive. No one there has ever said anything negative about my work there. My blog was the most popular blog that was originated on ivillage.com. I regularly got more comments than even Meredith Viera.I recieved no email notice from them saying that they were taking down the content. They just "disapeared" all of my writing, and the comments of my readers, which were voluminous, at an average of 82 comments per blog.Needless to say, I have gotten a lot of emails, through my website and myspace page from fans, wondering what the hell happened.Here was my farewell blogpost after over two years of writing three times a week for them. If you have any notion as to what could have offended them, I'd love to hear it.All I can think of is a. they don't want people to know they are no longer paying for blog content or b. because they are owned by NBC Universal they were concerned that I mentioned the writer's strike.Though that would be weird, because both authors and readers say inflamatory things on the blogs all the time, use foul language, criticize various corporations or political leaders etc. My contract specifically stated I had full creative control.Hey, I called the makers of Benecol "the heart healthy spread" (that contains trans fats) KILLERS (because they are) so, you know, I've been a lot more inflamatory than I was in what I wrote here.It's just very, very weird. I did not expect this at all. Cathryn
P.S. The full blogpost follows:

Econ 101
My Dad is an economist, and a businessman, and he taught me one thing I will always remember:Time is money.Everybody needs money, and the money that we get comes from how we spend our time. We all make choices everyday how to spend our time (in order to earn a living) and hopefully have some time left over that we can spend with friends and family, knowing that we are sheltered and fed.A few months ago, iVillage.com brought on a new editor in chief, Jennie Baird. I haven’t met Jennie, but she has been highly regarded in the world of the Internet. Previously she was at AOL and was a great success there.Probably because she has observed the trend of free content on the web (most evident in the overwhelming popularity of Youtube) Jennie has made the difficult business decision that iVillage.com will no longer pay for blog content.Which means I can no longer afford to write this blog, and as of next Friday, there will be no more Grrl Genius blog on iVillage.com. I don’t know how long the archives will remain on the site, but I won’t be creating any new content. No one will be taking over the blog because Grrl Genius remains my intellectual property and franchise.It was my decision when I took on this blog to make sure that every blogpost was a well crafted stand-alone column I would be proud to have anyone look at, even if they only read just one posting. As often as possible, I wanted the blogposts to be truly funny, not “funny-esque,” while still being about topics we all cared about. For me, that takes a lot of time to craft. Further, I wanted it to be a real conversation with the readers, not just a one way blurt from me, which took further time. I wanted it to be positive, uplifting and most of all, fun.A fun look at dating and relationships. A blog about love, in all its incarnations.I managed to keep up the pace of three columns I wasn’t ashamed of per week, while making a feature film, working on a network TV show and traveling doing performances (as well as maintaining a constant backlog of upcoming projects, due to the tremendous amount of failure inherent in show business).To survive doing what I do means cooking on high all the time, using all the burners.It’s scary times here in my hometown of Los Angeles. This month the Writer’s Guild (of which I am a member) is taking a strike vote over some issues that are pretty crucial to all artists in my industry, mostly involving, well…(ironically) free content on the Internet, and artists not being paid for the use of their work.For example, the episode I wrote of “Side Order of Life” has rerun on Lifetime, for which Lifetime sells commercials, for which I will get paid with a residual (an ever decreasing fraction of the original amount I was paid to write it).But that very same episode runs on their website (with paid commercials) and millions of people can download it and own it forever and I get paid nothing for that. Most artists in Hollywood also get paid nothing for DVD’s.So the odds are that there will soon be an industry-wide strike in Hollywood over these issues. The networks and studios want us to believe that instead of residuals they will give us a fair share of profits from DVD’s and the Internet. But when a film like “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” which cost 5 million dollars to make and grossed $368 million in theatres (and even more in DVD) is declared by the studio to be “not yet in profit” things don’t look good for artists getting their fair share through this promised "profit participation." That’s why Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson and Nia Vardolas are suing to get their portion of the proceeds of that film.And that’s probably why there will be an industry-wide strike of actors, writers and directors. Every single business in L.A. suffers when there is an entertainment strike. It’s like what happens in Detroit when they stop making cars. I so wish it wouldn’t happen, but smart money is saying it will.Like most of my fellow actors and writers I am just a middle class person in show biz (not a superstar with oodles of money to live off when I’m not working) so I have to spend as much time as I can creating projects I can live off of when there is no paying work to be had as a writer or actress here.Which means I can’t afford to spend the 25 hours a week or so that I spend on this blog.I couldn’t be sadder to say goodbye to all of you. Sharing my writing with you, and reading your responses has been a true pleasure. But I wouldn’t be living the Grrl Genius philosophy I espouse here if I didn’t take care of myself first.I am currently part of a venture that is backed by a major female celebrity who I am not allowed to name (or even coyly hint at) that will be a website that has video content, where I will have a video blog. That’s not due to happen until next year.If you want to stay in touch with what I’m doing, I will post updates to my myspace page www.myspace.com/cathrynmichon) and I will send bulletins to you directly if you join the “new membership” section and leave your email address at (www.grrlgenius.com).So, like my Dad taught me, I have to face up to the fact that my time is my money. I wish I had more of both, so I could afford to spend more time here with all of you.However, as I said here recently, “The meek may inherit the earth, but I didn’t inherit a thing, so I have to work for a living.” I feel blessed that I have been able to do work I love as well as eat three meals a day and have a roof over my head (plus some cute shoes). I’m a lucky Grrl Genius.Please feel free to use the time remaining while this blog is active to promote yourselves, to remind people here where to find your blogs or myspace pages or websites or whatever you are up to, so that you can keep up with each other in whatever way you like.Turn the blog into one big commercial for YOUR genius. I’d like nothing better.It’s been a pleasure to write for you, and to get all the delicious doses of your genius back. I have written 223 blogposts here, and received over 18,000 comments back (18,491 comments to be exact). That means that collectively, you worked on this blog much harder than I did. Thank you so much for being the greatest Internet experience I ever had. I will miss you, and your genius.

An out of the ordinary opportunity

A turning point is about to happen. Yes, it's Alternatives. What is this you ask?

"First created in 1978 as an “alternative” experience for those High
School students not involved in the annual Music Tour, this program has
evolved into one of the most talked about and anticipated events in the school
year. It provides students with an opportunity to see new places, meet new
friends, and discover a new skill or passion that will enhance their experience at
ASL and in London. Too popular a program to remain an “alternative” to any
other ASL offering, Alternatives is now seen as an enrichment that is an
alternative to the traditional classroom experience.

This year a total of 26 Alternatives are on offer. Each trip has been conceived and
designed by a faculty member, and all High School students and faculty will
participate in one of the offerings. Some have a service component, some are
activity or skill‐based, and some offer an insight into another culture or area of
Europe, so there are Alternatives to fit everyone." (Alternatives Brochure '07)

So I'm going on a trip. My trip is Scuba in Spain. Yes, we take kids off to the Costa Brava to scuba dive and get certified. In the past two years, I've gotten my Open Water certification through this program...and we have kids who choose to do two years so they too can get to this level.

It's a great program. The kids get to go places and see things they might not do as a normal tourist. From learning to cook in Italy, working with footballers in Milan to a course in running in Scotland, there is something for everyone. You learn. You meet people from every high school class. And kids come back refreshed and a bit more positive about the school. It's an amazing experience that very few teenagers get through their normal high school lives.

And as a teacher, it's quite the bonus. Yes, we do have to look after a bunch of teens and be wary of their desire to go out and do 'bad' things on occasion. Yes, we get a ton less sleep than we would if we were just away with friends (well....maybe not). But we too get to have really cool experiences and get paid for it too!

I may try to get my Advanced Open Water certification this time. I've already done a few dives in that direction. I think I just have to do the navigation part and the deep dive. I'm fine with that. The hardest part was the basic scuba diver cert - there are a few 'scary' things to do, as they are the first time you may have done them...like taking off your mask or taking out your breathing apperatus and tossing it behind you. Scary. But now that you know you can do all that and not freak...the rest is quite easy.

So...I'll not post for a while. We leave on Tuesday at 6am and return on Saturday night. I'll sleep all day Sunday but at least we have off Monday and Tuesday. And when we return, school seems much better for some reason. You've done a bit of it, know that there is another vacation in about one month and then another one month after that. Yeah, the pace goes. And the kids seem to feel much better. And so do the teachers!

Top Ten Pet Peeves...

#10: people who sneeze and don't cover their mouths.

#9: spelling & gramatical mistakes in the newspaper. I'm horrid at them but they are meant to be professionals!

#8: A salad bar that doesn't have any lettuce leaves left in it.

#7: that high pitched squeal of teenage girls. How do they do it?

#6: Going to the faculty lounge for water...and the last person it left an empty jug behind...so you have to change it.

#5: getting home and finding there is no more milk for your tea on a cold day.

#4: people who don't realize that they are in a public space when using their mobile phone

#3: almost getting killed by a person who is engaging in pet peeve #2.

#2: people who don't use their indicator (blinker) to let you know they are turning.

#1 (today): People who stand in front of the tube doors and look at you as if you are supposed to move for them as they get on. And don't even get it when you give them 'the look'.

Hard Day's Night

I'm quite happy that kids usually take a while to come to trust a new counselor. I've been here for three years and I'm finally on the 'good' list of the kids. Some trusted me right from day one, but most needed to hear that other kids had good experiences with me...and to be brought to me by those kids. This has allowed me to get adjusted to living overseas, being at a new school, being in a very new environment.

I've had tons of kids who are having a tough time adjusting to the changes in their lives and who are between depressed and anxious most of the time. If I didn't have the time to adjust myself, it might have been hard to help them out. And as you might remember from a previous post, even having had that time doesn't preclude me being stressed out at certain moments.

Today I've already met with three young kids who are all struggling with different issues...from anxiety and frustration with academics to transitional issues to anger and fear about a variety of family events, it's been quite a hectic day. And that's kinda the norm right now...I have a lot on my plate with kids. But it's what I do and I do 'enjoy' what I do...I feel good about my career and how I handle it.

My own adjustment was relatively quick, but it's only due to joining a team and meeting Roy so soon. I had moments where I was very unhappy and scared...so I can imagine that a teenager would have them even more...that these emotions would be amplified by their hormones and the like.

Life is crazy sometimes. And as a teenager, there are so many things that seem out of their control. It's tough. Really, really tough. But hopefully I can be there to help my little kiddos through this time.

Museum trip



I went to the British Museum the other day. I was a chaperone on a field trip with the 10th graders in their European History course. As you can imagine from the pics above, the topic was ancient Greece and Rome.

I haven't been to the British Museum in ages! It was so cool! I looked at pieces from the Parthenon, old jewelry and statues that had amazing details. And this was in only a few rooms!
I am planning on going back some time this winter to see the newest exhibition, the Terracotta Army. It's a shame that I don't ever take the time, especially during the summer, to see all these amazing sites that are here on offer in London. I ought to be ashamed of myself. So I'm going to do it. After hockey season is done with the kids, I'm going to try to take one afternoon a month (at least) to explore museums.

In Memorium

This picture shoes the last time I spent with my dog, Amber. It was the day after my wedding and I was heading packing things up. Amber decided she needed to keep me there and plopped herself on my stuff. We got to have a little cuddle and then she went home to my brother's house.

I got Amber when I was working at EHS, a boarding school in Virginia. She was rescued from a family who just couldn't keep her. They hadn't trained her and she was wild. They said she was four, but when I took her to the vet, they said she was only two...and still a puppy. Amber learned to live by my rules and became a much better behaved young lady of a dog. She was a friend through all my stress of working with teenagers. And she protected me from the bad men who tried to break my heart...she knew before I did that they were not nice...or in one instance, that the guy was cheating on me. She had the best instincts...and I learned from her.

When my brother starting talking about how they'd love to have a dog, but weren't sure about training...and I knew I was going to be moving to a place which wouldn't accept dogs...I knew that she was meant for him and my sis-in-law. And they have loved her like I did. Amber became the protector of their baby as soon as he was born. I wish Ryan would have had more time with his dog.

Amber was special. And a lot of us will miss her. Someday I'll get another dog...but it won't be the same as my first 'best friend'. Love ya Amber. Miss ya!

Sad News

This is an email my sister-in-law sent to me about Amber, a gorgeous platinum blond yellow lab and I gave up when I moved....she is currently living with my brother, sister-in-law and their baby. She's so protective of Ryan...And she's the first dog I've ever owned on my own. I miss her.

"Glad all is going well. Just wanted to give you an update on Amber in case we have some more bad news later today. Amber has been struggling with her right back leg since earlier this summer. At first the vet thought she had clown out her knee. She was on some medication and limited walking. She had a great time in Maine and swam a lot. We took her back for a follow-up visit when we returned and he figured out (at least said he figured out) that her problem had something do with her spine and spinal fluid. She was limping a bit but could walk more. Basically something was effecting her nervous system as she often curled up her right back foot when she stood. Well, yesterday we can home and she couldn’t put any weight on her back right leg. She was fine in the morning and Ev picked up Max earlier in the afternoon and said something was wrong with her back leg. I assumed just that she was limping a bit. Worse than that – she is basically a 3 legged dog at this point. We have a call into the vet and will most likely be in there some time today. She can eat and drinks her water, but can’t move much beyond the door way and it took lots of effort just to take her out to pee. She can’t do anything else. I’m very worried, but she is at least in good spirits and eating. I tell you this not to worry you, but just to let you know and keep you updated. I have a bad feeling in my stomach, but we’ll just have to wait and see what the doctor has to say.Sorry to lay this on you know, but I didn’t want more information to be a total shock. Take care, C."

Edited on 21 Sept: Here's a pic of my lovely dog with my nephew...she's always trying to be around him. They find out today if she needs to be put down. Keeping my fingers crossed...

It's all relative!

This past weekend I got to meet up with a few of Roy's relatives. We met at his parent's house and then off to dinner at the Gaucho Grill in Hampstead. It was a party of six - his parents, his aunt and uncle (mom's side) and the two of us newlyweds. The Gaucho Grill has very yummy steaks and is quite a funky restaurant. It's not a romantic place, as the music is loud and the place is very dark. Chairs were covered with animal print, dark wood was all over the place and lights were dimmed with a reddish tone. Even the bathrooms were darkly lit with what seemed to be candles. I guess it's a place for mystery or to be 'seen'.

We had a good time and the visiting relatives tried to pay, but Roy's mom got to the waitress too fast. They still tried to ply their credit card on the waitress, who asked, quite cheekily, if she could use it to buy a new Fendi bag. Cute.

We left the restaurant to wait for Roy to bring the car around...yes, we packed ourselves all in one vehicle (illegal, yes, I know). And as we were waiting, I could hear the uncle say, well, we didn't get the waitress a bag, but we could get one for Liane. "Hey, Liane...what colour bag would you like? Do you like black?" I played along thinking that this would never happen...and yes, black is always my preferred bag colour though I do own several other coloured items.

I don't know why, but we offered to cook dinner for everyone on Tuesday night (last night). With all the craziness going on in my life, it wasn't the most brilliant idea, but in the end it worked out.

I baked a bit on Sunday...trying to make baked donuts which really resembled a nice yeasty bun instead...so we decided to use those for dinner. We chopped all the veg on Monday night and let it marinate with chili and olive oil.

There wasn't too much to do on Tuesday evening, after walking home from my high school field hockey practice...I chopped a bit, put a few things together, cleaned a touch and then put it all in the oven. Garlic and parmesan crusted chicken. No, I don't have a recipe I follow, it's just become my easy signature dish. The side was veg (potato, onion, garlic and pepper) baked in tin foil. It turned out all lovely and yummy.

We all enjoyed some wine and the meal. And surprising me, was a gift of a bag from DKNY. It's a lovely black bag, medium sized...much nicer than anything I currently own. Woo hoo! Cooking for relatives as a newlywed definitely has it's perks!

So they leave tomorrow and I'm meant to head to the in-laws for dinner tonight. Not sure how I feel about it as I'm struggling to stay awake as it is...and coughing up a storm. Wish this cold would go away. But it will be something I'll do...because it is expected. And yes, I am a good wife with Indian relatives. Sometimes you just have to play the game. And I'm lucky that it's not that hard to do, cause my new relatives are all so nice!

Up, up and away....

I always complain about men being big ol' babies when they get sick. I usually power through and do what I have to in work and home. But the past few days, I just want to be a baby too...I feel like whining up a storm...staying home and sleeping in. Not doing any work. Awww...poor me. Which is so pathetic. And so not me.

I was raised by a man who was so proud that he had only missed two days of work in 25 years of service to the school where he worked. Now this meant that he probably passed on some serious illnesses to the kids he worked with...but he was there. He was a guy who never went to the doctor - that was for wimps. And he passed this on a bit to his kids. We were the ones who had the spotless records at school...several years of perfect attendance. And when we got to work - how could we miss for any reason? I've moved beyond my dad and won't go in if I'm throwing up or feeling like death...but I still made it to work once during a blizzard, to keep the office going (I worked as a PA at the time).

I do go to the doctor, but only in extreme emergencies, like breaking a wrist. But didn't go when I dislocated my jaw...ice would work out fine.

I don't like that I've learned this habit. As a counselor, I preach taking care of yourself both physically and mentally. I don't want to be superwoman. I'm human. And I don't want to pass this on to any future generation.

So this week I did do a few things for myself. I took one day off from coaching and I came in later to work today (missed the first period class). I probably ought to have called off sick for the full day...but I couldn't let down a few kids who needed to see me today.

I'm not totally moving from being a superwoman...but at least I'm slowly admitting to being more like the human I am.

In the midst of madness...

It's been a while since I've written anything in here. But then again, I haven't exactly been spending a lot of fun or quality time on the internet. I have been, in a word, busy. It's a busy that I haven't experienced in a long time. It's been an OVERWHELMING sort of busy. One where I almost cried in front of my boss. One where I've gotten sick cause I just can't slow down. And that's huge. I NEVER get sick. Hardly ever.

It seemed to hit all of a sudden - teaching two classes, grading, coming up with a curriculum for my two programs, meeting with teachers, parents, students during day and evening (two nights out until 9pm at school), coaching and starting to play field hockey, plus all the paperwork involved in getting a bunch of groups out on a field trip to a variety of places (damn paperwork!).

So I'm tired. I feel dead. I'd love to have a sick day, but don't have the time...something that is crazy to me, but so true. I never understood people who said that until now. I truly cannot miss work right now. And once I get back to that point, I'll probably feel fine.

Tonight I'm giving my personal field hockey practice a miss. I just need the relaxation from 7pm onward. I couldn't rush home, eat a small something and then head out to practice from 8-10 pm. I don't get to bed until well past 11pm as I need to shower and relax before sleep will come. It's my one concession that may cost my place on the Ladies' First Team...and to be honest, right now, I don't care. I just want a good solid night of sleep. And time to spend with my gorgeously lovely husband.

I want to talk to him about selling our flat (which got a very low offer the other day, by the way). What to do about our estate agent who isn't sending us our contract and so we're not in any advertisement. To talk about our strategies.

One good thing that is happening today - we are having our flat cleaned for us. It will be a weekly thing. She arrived at 9am (hopefully) where Roy gave her keys and showed her the cleaning materials. I do hope it works, as it will take a lot of stress away. I never thought I'd have someone come to clean...but right now I just can't take that on as well. It'll be a short-term solution, but one I welcome!

So those are a few things I'm going to do to help keep me sane and healthy. I hope to feel better so I can go to the gym this weekend as well as play field hockey. I'm trying to eat better and drink tons of water. Even in the craziness of it all...I still try to do something nice for myself.

And it begins...

So...we decided to invite our preferred real estate agency to come and valuate the flat. They arrived yesterday, met by Roy, and took a look around. They then stated that the flat is worth a minimum of £275,000...but that we ought to put it on the market for £290,000 and realistically, it ought to sell for around £285,000. So after some thought, we decided to go with this agency and they came tonight (I'm still at work for 'Back to School Night') to take pics and get the contract signed. They already have viewings lined up - two tomorrow and two on Saturday!!! Can you believe it? We may have it off the market in a few weeks!!! Fast moving market or what?!

Therapy

One of the toughest decisions for some people to make is the one to see a therapist. And that's understandable. Even in today's supposedly enlightened world, there are still some taboos about seeing someone to help you with a problem. It's a shame that some people see seeking out help as being weak instead of being strong...but that will probably never change.

So, let's say you have decided to see a therapist. Who do you go and see? The best thing is to get recommendations from people you know (if you are comfy doing this). If you don't know anyone who has seen a therapist, then as your doctor for a recommendation. For most problems, the first stop is a psychologist, who can assess your issues. But if you think you have a very severe problem, such as clinical depression or anxiety, then it might be best to find a psychiatrist. What is the difference? The psychiatrist is medically trained and therefore is the only type of counselor who is able to give you medication.

There are many different types of therapists and their views on therapy. Don't feel that if you go to one and they don't fit or feel right, that you need to stick with them. Therapists will often even help you find someone new. But don't move only if you feel uncomfortable in therapy - that's a big part of the process. Move if you feel they don't 'hear' you or they seem to be giving you advice that runs totally counter to your instincts. I tend to encourage people to give a therapist at least 3 sessions before they move, just to work through the discomfort of just being in therapy.

Therapy is hard work. It is not fun. You may feel even worse on some days when you leave. But it should always make you think. You should leave with questions for yourself...things to work through.

I'm a huge fan of cognitive-behavioral psychology for a lot of problems. The focus is on changing the way you think, which in turn may help you deal with your behaviors and your emotions. It's used a ton in sports psychology, for anxiety and stress as well as many other issues. But most therapists, even if they have a particular 'bent', will also use techniques from other types of therapy.

When I'm looking for an outside therapist for a kid, I ask them a few questions:

a. Do you want a male or female. For some people, this is very important. For others, it just doesn't matter.

b. Do you care if the person is younger or older. Some people want the long-term perspective and experience, others want to work with someone who is closer to their age and may understand what's happening to the youth of today.

c. Are you ready to be open with this person.

And that is the most important question of them all. A person who is not open will not gain a thing from therapy. This is a person who will not judge you...they have probably heard a lot worse than anything you will tell them, and even if not, this is their job - to listen. If you hold back, then you are keeping a therapist and, quite honestly, yourself, from doing the best job. Cause that's one thing people forget or don't know about therapy - YOU know yourself the best, and so YOU are the one who can help yourself more than anyone else...a good therapist will help guide you and ask you the questions that you might not want to/be able to ask yourself.

We made it!

TGIF! During my summer holiday, specific days lose their meaning. Monday? Just another day. Friday? So what the weekend is arriving...I have off today anyway! But now that I'm working, Friday means so much more.

Now don't get me wrong. I truly love what I do. I like seeing the new faces looking all interested in what I'm teaching or coaching. I like having students come to my office for the first time to talk to me about a problem. And then there is my small bunch of girl groupies who come to my office just to 'chat' at least a few times a week. I definitely love that part of my life - to be the equivalent of a young aunt for these girls...mentoring them through those teenage years.

But at the same time, it's very tiring. (Yes, I know, whine, whine) So now, Friday means that it's the last day that I have to wake up at 6:20am...at least until Monday. I get to stay up a bit later and sleep in. So it's worth looking forward to. I do love my sleep!

This weekend will be the beginning of my club field hockey season...we have a fun day of seven-a-side teams from noon to 4pm. I can't wait. And then training begins on Wednesday. It's back to hard work!!

Sunday will see me cleaning like a fiend as we get ready to put our flat on the market. Our lights are fixed, we've moved everything we can...we are ready!

Have a good weekend!

And lift-off!

I survived the storm...otherwise known as the first day of school. Everyone take a deep breathe!

On this day, we start out with a meeting of the entire high school in our gym (cause our theatre is being worked on). This went on from 8:05 to 8:30...then we went on to grade meetings. I joined the freshmen as I have some programming I do with them and had to explain it. I also get my face out there and kids tend to find me to ask me questions and eventually to talk about issues. Already I think I've found a few kids who will be in my office a LOT. But that's what I'm here for and I look forward to this year's challenges.

This meeting went on for another 45 minutes or so. Then classes began. We were going through all eight periods, twenty minutes at a shot. Our normal class day consists of four periods of 80 minutes. Yes, LONG classes.

Then we had the athletics meeting with the kids followed by sign-up for autumn sports (I coach field hockey). And the final meeting of the day - coaches' meeting. By that point we were all fried and not up for it...but we took it decently well with a few snide remarks said quietly. Yes, we are worse than the kids. Much.

I was dead at the end of the day. Went home, put up my tired footsies and ate my dinner. Roy had a football match, so I was alone to process how the day went. And overall, it had been a good one. Busy as all else with organizing things and getting ready for today and tomorrow...but good.

Today I teach one of the two sections of Intro to Psych. I have a well planned afternoon. And we'll have our first field hockey try-out. It's the beginning of really long days...arriving around 7:50 a.m. and leaving around 6-something or later p.m. But it's totally worth it and I have had a long break leading up to this. I'm ready.

My wine and whine

Roy and I went to a wedding reception last night. There's an interesting tradition in England. There are two parts to the wedding festivities...a day invite and an evening invite. The day invite is for people to come to the dinner onward and the evening invite is for the second tier - people are invited for the dancing and drinks portion. Now, I find it tough. It's basically telling someone that you aren't QUITE good enough friends to come to the whole shindig, but good enough to come to the dance.

Now, one would think, that if you have invited someone to this portion of the evening, that you'd include the drinks - cause you've already told the people that they aren't quite good enough for dinner. But in many cases, including last night, it was a cash bar - so really, people are potentially travelling to go to a disco and pay hotel prices for drinks.

Nothing against the couple who invited us, but I personally think it's rude to expect people you've invited to a party to pay for drinks. Cash bars are WRONG. Especially if you are asked to travel to get to the wedding. This couple did provide Pimms & Lemonade for free...but it's something you can only have a few of cause it's so sweet. And personally, I like my wine...and to whine about this option. If you cannot afford to pay for the entire evening (or at least until a certain hour, like 11pm), then you ought to do something else - don't invite as many people...have it in a different venue...don't buy certain items. As a guest to a party, I should be treated to nice things, not have to pay for them.

So Roy and I decided to think of this as a night out of town. We happened to meet up with friends there, got to dance and stayed at a lovely hotel, the Falaise House. We stayed in their smallest room, which ended up being lovely! And the breakfast, which was included, was very yummy. The hosts were a wonderful and caring couple. It's a place I would suggest.

The cutest of cutie pies

I just have to show you how CUTE my nephew is. He is about 9 months old and absolutely the most adorable little boy I've ever laid my eyes on. His 'specialness' is furthered by the love my old dog, Amber, has for him, which you can see in one of the pics. Almost every third pic taken by my brother and sister-in-law shows Amber by my nephew's side. Devotion is definitely there!

I wish I could be closer to PA to be able to spend time with my little love. He's learning so much and changing so much. But I just have to live through all this in pictures, which is mom is so good about sharing online. I hope that eventually he comes to think of me as that cool aunt who lives in London...I'm sure I'll get a visit from him as a teenager who wants to explore the world. I plan on taking him all over Europe if given the chance.

I think it's due to seeing how wonderful this little boy is, that I've contemplated having one of my own. You could say that he has definitely turned on the 'baby urge' a bit...it's not complete, and I know I'd be fine without a child, but I can see the positives of having such a cutie pie!

Lucky

Once again, I am one of the luckiest girls on the planet. This past week a very strong storm (on it's way to becoming a hurricane) hit St Lucia. Winds tore through the small island causing all sorts of havoc.

I am both grateful and lucky that we went on our honeymoon during June instead of now. I was able to have an amazing honeymoon that was barely marred by rain, no less winds. For that, I will be forever grateful. And I feel sad for those people who have not gotten such a good experience due to the forces of nature. And even more so, for the wonderful people who work and live on the island who treated me & Roy with such grace and courtesy.

I have had quite a charmed life. No, I'm not the daughter of a millionaire nor have I become famous for something. I am not a girl genius (in terms of intellect) nor did I have the talent to become a great athlete. But I have survived quite a few experiences that could have gone very, very wrong...and I was born into a good life with wonderful (albeit flawed human) parents.

My first test in life was at birth. My mom had an extended contraction which cut off all the air supply to me for at least 15 minutes. I was born with an Apgar scale number of one Let me break this down for you:

Here's how they're used to rate your baby:
Activity (muscle tone) 0 — Limp; no movement...1 — Some flexion of arms and legs...2
— Active motion
Pulse (heart rate) 0 — No heart rate...1 — Fewer than 100 beats per minute...2 — At least 100 beats per minute
Grimace (reflex response) 0 — No response to airways being suctioned...1 — Grimace during suctioning...2 — Grimace and pull away, cough, or sneeze during suctioning
Appearance (color) 0 — The baby's whole body is completely bluish-gray or pale...1 — Good color in body with bluish hands or feet....2 — Good color all over
Respiration (breathing) 0 — Not breathing...1 — Weak cry; may sound like whimpering, slow or irregular breathing...2 — Good, strong cry; normal rate and effort of breathing

So, yeah, I was born completely limp, like a rag doll, had no airway response, had a very light pulse, was completely blue and wasn't breathing. It was NOT a happy day for the parents. But I both survived it and, after one year, they discovered that I was not brain damaged (no matter what my brother says!). The only legacy to this experience is a difficulty in short term memory at times. Not bad and makes me VERY lucky.

Another example I can give was when I was 12. I was riding a bike and my brakes failed. I hit a 3 foot high wall and fell about 15 feet down into a stream. My face was inches from a huge rock and I only ended up with a hole below my lower lip, needing a fake front tooth and a broken arm. How lucky is that?

So, yeah...I have to say that I have been a fortunate girl. When I was younger, I always wondered if I was alive to do something special. If surviving these accidents was a way of keeping me around for a purpose. I used to pray that I would live at least to 30 (yes, I did at one time think that was OLD). I no longer feel that way. I don't think I have a 'job' to fulfill. Or that I was destined to do something important. I just feel lucky. Plain, old, lucky.

Nestie

The nesties rock.

I met two of them on Thursday evening for dinner. We went to Navajo Joes in Covent Garden for a yummy dinner (well, at least mine was). These two were great! So friendly and had the perfect level of sarcasm and bite...kinda similar to my friend Alicia who moved back to the States.

Then on Saturday I went to a larger gathering at one of the nestie's house. We had a baby shower for a few of the women. It was a great time to meet a few women who I had only gotten to know on the board. Some of us then went on to the city...I couldn't hang out with them for long as I was having 'date night' with Roy...but I suspect that I'll see a few of them soon again!

It's quite different to be part of this sort of community. How do you explain that you met people from the internet without sounding...different? You feel like you sorta know them and yet, you don't. I have met quite a few people from internet groups and really enjoyed it. I've made some good friends and some lovely acquaintences.

I think I'm going to write more on this at another time...but right now I have Sunday brain...

Lessons learned..

I don't want anyone to think that my husband is a complete ass. He's really not. Nor is he an alcoholic, though, like many Londoners he tends to drink too much on occasion. He really doesn't drink regularly (other than a glass of wine for dinner once in a while). And last night he came home from work and dragged me onto the bed to have one of our bed chats (don't know why but we seem to be able to talk better in bed).

He had talked to his friend, Tom, about the situation last night. He basically told him that even if it was a pain or meant that he was going to be late, that he would always leave the car at home if he was going to be drinking. Or if he couldn't, that he'd just leave the car. And if he thought that he hadn't drunk too much, but had, that Tom could call me or take away his car keys. I was proud of my hubby for coming up with a plan. He again apologized to me for his behavior. It's one of the things I do love about him...he's willing to own up to his mistakes and to talk about things.

Hunger, anger and hope

This is bad. It's only 11am and I'm already hungry. I don't know what I'm going to do when I eat at 6:45am instead of 7:30am...I'll be done for by 10:30! I guess I need to start planning in some healthy snacks. Like yogurt or something like that. It's the downside to starting work again - having to get up earlier and then not being able to eat lunch when you feel like it. Oh, well.

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DH scared me last night. Actually, no, he pissed me off. We live in London, land of transportation. We have access to public transport and a gazillion cabs. So there is absolutely NO reason for anyone to drive when they go out drinking. Roy played in a football (soccer) game last night and then went out with a friend (his best man). Now, I understand the car for football as it's tough to get to otherwise, but he ought to have dropped off his car and then taken public transport to the pub. But no. He drove. And then didn't want to leave his car there cause he would have had to either leave it there and get a £180 fine or wake up at an ungodly hour to pick it up. So he chose to drive after drinking way more than he ought to have. I reamed him out last night. And again this morning. It's unexcusable. He could kill or hurt himself or someone else. Yeah, he felt in control, but don't all drunks. No. It's not acceptable. He also now has a responsbility to me. He could even just call me if he wants. I only had one drink last night in my girlie night out, so I would have been fine to drive. Upset with him for doing this dumb thing, but okay to drive.

He will not do this again. I've put such a kabosh on it that I'm quite sure it'll stick. He felt my wrath. Hugely. Which, when you are hungover, is not so much fun. And quite honestly, it disgusts me that as an adult, he'd even consider it. Come on...have you learned nothing since you were young, dumb and full of "*&£()&?

I've done the drunk driving thing once. And the results scared me so much that I never did it again. I had to pull off a highway, into a parking lot, lock the doors, put my keys somewhere unfindable by another person and sleep for a while. In NJ. I could have been killed, maimed, taken...or done so to another person on the road while I was driving. Never again I said. I hope that my DH will also learn. He better or I'll have to do something about it. And that would make our relationship very uncomfortable. But better that than death.

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Anyway...work is going to be okay. Busy, crazy and tiring, but okay. I just have so many new ideas of things to do - I think I'm going to be working some seriously late hours and spending much less time online..which is good. I hope the kids like what I'm going to do!

Autumn?

I woke up at 6:30am. Wide awake. That kind where you know you just won't find any way to fall back to sleep. Sigh. So I got up, trying to let Roy sleep his one more hour. I started out on the couch, and had my cereal as per usual and turned on the news. I wasn't so excited about it all. I'd rather have had my sleep. But life sometimes intervenes. And then, it hit 7:00am. Ah, yes, I have a package to pick up from Royal Mail. And they open at 7:00am. Cool. I'll do that.

I was thinking about wearing just a tee-shirt with jeans, but decided for some reason to wear a fleece instead. And a good thing I did. I walked out of the door and felt it. The feel of autumn. You know it...a cool tinge in the air. The weather that feels chilled in the morning but warms a bit as the day goes on. And it was. Chilly that is. I actually felt like I could have used another layer. My breathe felt much fresher. A small breeze bringing the little hairs up from under my headband. My cheeks. Definitely turning red.

So, summer is heading toward it's ending. I supposed it's appropriate in my last day before returning to school full-time. It'll make it much easier to return than hot and sunny days!

If feet turn you off...don't read any further!


Today was 'make me look better before the kids return' day. So I left at 10:15am today to go get my hair cut and coloured. Yes, folks, at the ripe ol' age of 38, I have a head full of greys. It's quite sad. I have to go every 4-5 weeks to get it done. Sigh. Unfortunately, my hairdresser dyed it a bit darker than I wanted..wah! But I'll get over it. I wanted it lighter to go with my summery look I have going on (aka bleached lighter reddish brown by the sun). I'll have to attack it with lots of shampoo and red treatment to get it to where I want it. But the cut will be nice. Easy to maintain.


Then I went on to get a mani/pedi. I haven't had a pedicure since before my honeymoon. Yes, I've used a scrubbing brush on it, but no professional had gotten their hands on my tootsies in over two months. And it showed. After a lovely soak, she started in on my cuticles. Lots of gunk was removed. And then the shaving of skin. I've never seen so much skin come off my body in one fell swoop...shavings and shavings of it. Kinda turned me off I have to say. And I tend to like my feet. Then a scrubbing. At least the outcome was good - pretty dark hot pink toes with soft soled feet. Lovely.


The fun part of this experience was watching people sit on the bench outside the nail salon. The first was a woman who seemed surgically attached to her mobile phone. On and on she went. Even after she decided to remove herself from the seat, she was still on the phone, clutching her packages to her side in one hand...quite precariously I must say. Then on came the workmen. Four of them. One was a skinny sort who didn't seem to quite fit. He was there first, followed by a more hardy fellow. They both brought over their bread and, what looked like, tubs of soup. Then two more, even bigger men, arrived and pushed the poor small guy to the edge of the bench. They were hoisting up these MASSIVE sandwhiches, the like I've never seen before. Seriously. I mean HUGE. GYNORMOUS! The three bigger guys were joshing each other and pointing at various people outside the shop. I just really wanted to know what they were saying...but then it was time to go get my nails dried...and when that was done, they were gone.


I headed back home, on my way to finishing up the painting. Tomorrow I get to hang out at home...carpet for our bedroom will be delivered and installed. That will be it. Done with decorating. All to do will be cleaning and organising. Woo hoo!

What?

I've noticed something recently. Which is a change. Cause what I've noticed is that I've stopped looking at the world. Yes, I see things happening and all that, but I've lost a bit of that sense of the world as a place to be watched. I'm not sure if I can explain it well...but I remember noticing small details that struck me. And now I'm not. I don't like it. I want that back. And so I'm going to try, even though I'm in the beginning of a newly stressed out phase of life (going back to work and field hockey), to pay attention to my environment much more! And write about it. Cause, quite honestly, sometimes even I find my life to be a bit boring...can't imagine anyone reading about it doesn't either at times!

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So I'm sitting here at work...and just got introduced to all the new teachers. A nice bunch, or so they look. And even more fun - one of the newbies is a teacher from my last school...one who I liked! Woo hoo! She's going to be doing tech work in the theatre and teaching that sort of thing. The kids will LOVE her as she's just so chill...and the faculty will get on with her too as she's so NOT obnoxious in any way. I'm happy she was able to leave BB&N, as she felt quite the same way about it as I did.

Crush them Ally Pally gals!

What a great day! Sunday we played against our rivals, Alexandra Palace. This was a team that smashed us last year - just creamed us in cricket. But we were back, stronger batters, stronger bowlers and NOT intimidated by their crap.

The team, when you aren't playing them, are totally lovely people. There are some serious characters on the team, a few that we are 'iffy' about...but they are nice overall. Just like most of the teams in our league. But on the field, they can be nasty. One woman, who had played for us in the past, heckled a past friend of hers. Come on! And it was a gross heckle too - something about your unborn child and the like. The woman who was heckled got hers back though - she got the heckler out, who went on to have a temper tantrum, throwing the bat on the ground and kicking it. HA!

Their stronger batters were just not on. One woman who had previously scored in the 40s, got a 1...another who had scored in the 30s, got a 3. We held them to 58 runs...all out...in less than 20 overs (in a 25 over game). For those of you who are clueless about cricket, let's just say that this was VERY good (they didn't score much, they all got out in some way or another and they were all out before the end of their batting 'time' so couldn't continue). So we only had to score 59 in 25 overs. Very doable.

Now I am the first batter on my team. That means I have to stay in against the harder bowlers (usually) and not get out...let them get tired...let the less good bowlers come in. And I did. I stayed in for 12 overs, which was enough to get rid of their spin/swing bowler. Sweet. Didn't get a ton of runs, but got us to our best batters who took the score in hand...and we won, 59 for 3, after only 17 overs. It was good. Very, very good.

And so we all hung out afterwards, had a few drinks, ate some barbeque and just enjoyed the summer sun while watching the boys play. What a good day!

The good, the bad, the indifferent...

Yesterday, I stood in a queue for over an hour, (free) ticket in hand, to go and be part of the live audience of Loose Women. I was very excited about this, cause I had been watching the show during my summer break and really wanted to see it. But I got to near the front of the line and heard the words, "Sorry folks, but there are no more spaces available". And this is where I got a bit angry. They were able to count how many people were around earlier. I mean, they actually did the counting. So why, why, did they make me stand there for the extra half-hour just to let me know that I wouldn't make it in...oh, and next time I could get a special ticket that would guarantee my entry. Too bad I'll no longer be on vacation and able to go. BUGGER! So I wasted one of my last mornings on vacation. Sigh.

So I came home and did a complete stress/anger reliever and baked some bread (an attempt at naan). The naan wasn't exactly like what you'd get in a restaurant, more like a chipati, thinnish and crispy. But still tasty. I'm going to try a new recipe out this weekend and see if it's a bit better. Either way, I get something yummy in the end. In addition, I made my first attempt at dhal. This is a lentil, a staple in the Indian diet. And I'm trying to learn some foods that are part of that culture, so I can pass them on (if I have kids). And it wasn't half bad. A few things to change, but I got the basics pretty darn close. So I was happy about that. Cooking and baking seem to have that effect on me.

Today is the beginning of the end...I'm going to be heading back to the school to do some work. Yes, work. It's what most people don't realise about being a teacher. While, yes, you do get a lot of vacation, during half of it, you tend to actually have to do work. And we work on weekends. And nights. So it's not all fun and giggles. But I have to admit that I've had a great few weeks of relaxation, even with having to doing a lot of things around the house. I'm sad that it's coming to an end. But I know it's time to get back to work. (That's why the above situation was more annoying).