My fast
So I got up at 5:30am on Sunday to make myself a huge breakfast....I had two fried eggs, a bagel and 1-1/2 sausages, plus a few Indian sweets per the tradition. I drank some orange juice and tea. And then got ready to not eat for quite a few hours.
I spent the day watching some t.v., then going into work to grade/work on lecture, then went to see a movie (Indian, 4 Women) and then hung out at home waiting patiently for the hour that my MIL would arrive and I'd get my first sip of water and first bite to eat. It was 7-something before that happened.
But it made them happy and my DH has promised that we'll have a fancy night out on the town and a night at a good London hotel (something we've enjoyed in the past) next month. It was not as hard as I imagined. I guess that not being able to eat due to this made it easier - I wasn't really hungry, more thirsty. And I wasn't too grumpy. A purposeful fast is easier than just having to wait to eat when you are going out to dinner (or the like).
29 October 2007
23 October 2007
Brrrrr!
Last night we switched from our patchwork quilt to our duvet. Much warmer and snugglier. I loved getting under the poofy cotton and feeling enveloped in the heat.
Today as I was walking out the door, I thought to myself, "I ought to have switched to my wool jacket and I need to find my gloves". I usually wear a nice knee length rain jacket (it's a lovely looking jacket - not athletic looking or shiny).
There's a touch of frost in the air. And I brought a thick fleece to wear to field hockey practice.
It's definitely hinting at winter.
And yet, last night, as I walked home along a lovely suburban road, I saw roses still blooming and green grass. It's one of the interesting things about London weather - we feel like winter is coming along and yet throughout the entire process we'll still be surrounded by green and colours. A funky paradox for someone who came over here from a place where it tends to snow in December.
Last night we switched from our patchwork quilt to our duvet. Much warmer and snugglier. I loved getting under the poofy cotton and feeling enveloped in the heat.
Today as I was walking out the door, I thought to myself, "I ought to have switched to my wool jacket and I need to find my gloves". I usually wear a nice knee length rain jacket (it's a lovely looking jacket - not athletic looking or shiny).
There's a touch of frost in the air. And I brought a thick fleece to wear to field hockey practice.
It's definitely hinting at winter.
And yet, last night, as I walked home along a lovely suburban road, I saw roses still blooming and green grass. It's one of the interesting things about London weather - we feel like winter is coming along and yet throughout the entire process we'll still be surrounded by green and colours. A funky paradox for someone who came over here from a place where it tends to snow in December.
22 October 2007
A fast
This Sunday will be my first Karwa Chauth. What is this you ask? Well, here's a few words from the Karwa Chauth website (www.karwachauth.com).
The festival and fast of Karva Chauth is celebrated with much exuberance and fanfare. It is considered an important and auspicious day for married women. A married woman celebrates this day with great fervor and dedication, by observing a fast and praying for the long life of her husband.
The fast is observed during the month of Kartik on the fourth day of Krishna Paksha (descending moon). This generally falls in the month of October.
The earliest reference of a Karva Chauth can be found in the great epic of Mahabharata. As per Mahabharata, Arjun, a supreme warrior and one of the Pandavas, went to the Nilgiri Hills to offer his prayers and worship the gods. Draupadi, wife of the Pandavas, was accompanying him. On the way, Draupadi was struck with fear believing that she was alone in the forest with no one to protect her. As she treated Lord Krishna as her Brother, she invoked him to appear before her and help her out of this grave situation. On listening to her fear and perplexity, Lord Krishna cited an example of Goddess Parvati. Parvati in a similar situation asked Lord Shiva's help. Lord Shiva explained to her that to ward off such apprehensions, a woman could observe a fast on Kartik Krishna Chaturthi as a remedy. Lord Krishna advised Draupadi to undertake this fast and also assured her of he victory of the Pandavas. Women also pray to Lord Ganesha for the fulfillment of all their wishes.
The fast has all the trappings of festivity. Women dress up in their best finery, with henna-decked hands, bindis, colorful bangles, vermilion in their hair-parting and the best of jewelery. However, they do not eat even a morsel of food, neither drink a drop of water, from dawn till the moon rises. Finally, when the moon is sighted, the wife goes out to view it. The moon is worshiped and then she turns to view her husband's face through the pores of a sieve, praying for his long life. After performing the puja, its finally time for food.
I'll probably wear my wedding outfit for dinner, though I might just wear something else (so as to not ruin the gorgeous thing!). But I will have henna applied by my MIL on Saturday night, I will have to get up by 6am to make and eat a huge meal (I think I might have something in the fridge just to heat up and eat) and then Roy will be cooking the evening meal.
It will be interesting...I know I'm horrible when I can't eat, so I expect that I'll be totally grumpy! Can't even have water or anything like that! But as it's my first year after marriage, I definitely want to do it for my new family and new hubby!
This Sunday will be my first Karwa Chauth. What is this you ask? Well, here's a few words from the Karwa Chauth website (www.karwachauth.com).
The festival and fast of Karva Chauth is celebrated with much exuberance and fanfare. It is considered an important and auspicious day for married women. A married woman celebrates this day with great fervor and dedication, by observing a fast and praying for the long life of her husband.
The fast is observed during the month of Kartik on the fourth day of Krishna Paksha (descending moon). This generally falls in the month of October.
The earliest reference of a Karva Chauth can be found in the great epic of Mahabharata. As per Mahabharata, Arjun, a supreme warrior and one of the Pandavas, went to the Nilgiri Hills to offer his prayers and worship the gods. Draupadi, wife of the Pandavas, was accompanying him. On the way, Draupadi was struck with fear believing that she was alone in the forest with no one to protect her. As she treated Lord Krishna as her Brother, she invoked him to appear before her and help her out of this grave situation. On listening to her fear and perplexity, Lord Krishna cited an example of Goddess Parvati. Parvati in a similar situation asked Lord Shiva's help. Lord Shiva explained to her that to ward off such apprehensions, a woman could observe a fast on Kartik Krishna Chaturthi as a remedy. Lord Krishna advised Draupadi to undertake this fast and also assured her of he victory of the Pandavas. Women also pray to Lord Ganesha for the fulfillment of all their wishes.
The fast has all the trappings of festivity. Women dress up in their best finery, with henna-decked hands, bindis, colorful bangles, vermilion in their hair-parting and the best of jewelery. However, they do not eat even a morsel of food, neither drink a drop of water, from dawn till the moon rises. Finally, when the moon is sighted, the wife goes out to view it. The moon is worshiped and then she turns to view her husband's face through the pores of a sieve, praying for his long life. After performing the puja, its finally time for food.
I'll probably wear my wedding outfit for dinner, though I might just wear something else (so as to not ruin the gorgeous thing!). But I will have henna applied by my MIL on Saturday night, I will have to get up by 6am to make and eat a huge meal (I think I might have something in the fridge just to heat up and eat) and then Roy will be cooking the evening meal.
It will be interesting...I know I'm horrible when I can't eat, so I expect that I'll be totally grumpy! Can't even have water or anything like that! But as it's my first year after marriage, I definitely want to do it for my new family and new hubby!
19 October 2007
Pink or blue?
When I was in college, I had to do a senior thesis in my subject area. As a psych major, I was really interested in children's play and the toys that they chose to play with. I did a few studies on it and found that things hadn't changed all that much between the 70s and early 90s...there were definite boy toys and girl toys...and the way the toys were portrayed in tv commercials was very stereotypical (boy toy = loud staccato music, primary colours, kids attacking, girl toy = soft friendly music, soft colours, kids playing on own or together).
And the little kids I studies also tended to play in that way. Boys tended to take just about anything and make it into a weapon. They would either be on their own (though side by side) or aggressively with each other. The girls on the other hand tended to be playing much more quietly and with each other. There seemed to be cooperation. But not all of them...and girls seemed to have more leeway in how they could play. I think this is true in so many areas - women can be very girlie but also have more masculine traits/interests...but guys struggle if they head toward the more fem areas (less so now with our metrosexuals than ever before).
I had been such a tom-boy in my day (still am a bit). I loved to play with balls, in the mud, running around...I only played with my dolls so that I could make things for the doll house (loved tools). I was the antithesis of 'girlie'. I didn't find my more feminine side until much later in life. I still don't have that need to always have the perfect makeup or hair and there are days I forget to put on my jewelry, but I'm still much more interested in clothing and shoes than even a decade ago.
So - what were your toy choices like when you were little? Were you more the girlie girl or a tom-boy or something in-between?
When I was in college, I had to do a senior thesis in my subject area. As a psych major, I was really interested in children's play and the toys that they chose to play with. I did a few studies on it and found that things hadn't changed all that much between the 70s and early 90s...there were definite boy toys and girl toys...and the way the toys were portrayed in tv commercials was very stereotypical (boy toy = loud staccato music, primary colours, kids attacking, girl toy = soft friendly music, soft colours, kids playing on own or together).
And the little kids I studies also tended to play in that way. Boys tended to take just about anything and make it into a weapon. They would either be on their own (though side by side) or aggressively with each other. The girls on the other hand tended to be playing much more quietly and with each other. There seemed to be cooperation. But not all of them...and girls seemed to have more leeway in how they could play. I think this is true in so many areas - women can be very girlie but also have more masculine traits/interests...but guys struggle if they head toward the more fem areas (less so now with our metrosexuals than ever before).
I had been such a tom-boy in my day (still am a bit). I loved to play with balls, in the mud, running around...I only played with my dolls so that I could make things for the doll house (loved tools). I was the antithesis of 'girlie'. I didn't find my more feminine side until much later in life. I still don't have that need to always have the perfect makeup or hair and there are days I forget to put on my jewelry, but I'm still much more interested in clothing and shoes than even a decade ago.
So - what were your toy choices like when you were little? Were you more the girlie girl or a tom-boy or something in-between?
18 October 2007
So gross!
11:00pm last night. I was tired. We were going to go to bed when I saw that there was mold growing in our built in wardrobe (basically closets). Then Roy checked out his wardrobe and found TONS of clothing ruined due to the mold. WTF! Yes, it is growing rampantly in our flat, which explains our feeling icky a lot of time, especially Roy who is mold allergic.
So we cleared out the closets, put in two loads of laundry, threw out a ton of clothing and made plans to get a bunch more washed/dry cleaned.
This morning we went to B & Q and purchased anti-mold wash and paint. We are going to skip the gym sessions and attack the mold in hopes of clearing it up. We can't sell it all groady like this, so we've cancelled all viewings for the rest of the week to do this. It will work. It has to.
So - another set-back on the sales front...but at least there are people who have come to view it and want to view it. We'll see what happens.
11:00pm last night. I was tired. We were going to go to bed when I saw that there was mold growing in our built in wardrobe (basically closets). Then Roy checked out his wardrobe and found TONS of clothing ruined due to the mold. WTF! Yes, it is growing rampantly in our flat, which explains our feeling icky a lot of time, especially Roy who is mold allergic.
So we cleared out the closets, put in two loads of laundry, threw out a ton of clothing and made plans to get a bunch more washed/dry cleaned.
This morning we went to B & Q and purchased anti-mold wash and paint. We are going to skip the gym sessions and attack the mold in hopes of clearing it up. We can't sell it all groady like this, so we've cancelled all viewings for the rest of the week to do this. It will work. It has to.
So - another set-back on the sales front...but at least there are people who have come to view it and want to view it. We'll see what happens.
17 October 2007
Voulez-vous couchez...?
We were staying in self-contained flats above a restaurant/bar while on our scuba trip. There were other people staying there and it is a quiet family sort of place. We've never had an issue there. But on the last night, I had a group of my boys at the door to our flat knocking and letting me know that there was a drunk man knocking on doors inside. And while we were chatting, his equally drunk friend saw me. I sent the boys off with the idea that they would not open the door again and to tell the others not to open doors that night unless they heard it was me. Then pounding began - it was the drunken guys. They did not speak English, only french. They wouldn't go away. So finally I had to get the male teacher up to talk to them. The guys were looking for 'women', were from the Ivory Coast (thus the French) and thought I might be interested...the teacher told them that they were propositioining his wife and that the girls they saw earlier in the evening were under his charge and that they needed to leave or the police would be called. It took a while, but eventually they left. It made for a late and interesting evening. I was glad we had a male teacher with us who spoke French!
We were staying in self-contained flats above a restaurant/bar while on our scuba trip. There were other people staying there and it is a quiet family sort of place. We've never had an issue there. But on the last night, I had a group of my boys at the door to our flat knocking and letting me know that there was a drunk man knocking on doors inside. And while we were chatting, his equally drunk friend saw me. I sent the boys off with the idea that they would not open the door again and to tell the others not to open doors that night unless they heard it was me. Then pounding began - it was the drunken guys. They did not speak English, only french. They wouldn't go away. So finally I had to get the male teacher up to talk to them. The guys were looking for 'women', were from the Ivory Coast (thus the French) and thought I might be interested...the teacher told them that they were propositioining his wife and that the girls they saw earlier in the evening were under his charge and that they needed to leave or the police would be called. It took a while, but eventually they left. It made for a late and interesting evening. I was glad we had a male teacher with us who spoke French!
14 October 2007
Home
I'm back! I slept about 12 hours last night after not getting much during my trip. The kids were good, but of course, loud at times. When you have a bunch of them all together they can't really help themselves.
I am now officially an Advanced Open Water diver.
Once I get some of the pics, I'll write a bit more about scuba diving. I did come back with a tan face!
I'm back! I slept about 12 hours last night after not getting much during my trip. The kids were good, but of course, loud at times. When you have a bunch of them all together they can't really help themselves.
I am now officially an Advanced Open Water diver.
Once I get some of the pics, I'll write a bit more about scuba diving. I did come back with a tan face!
08 October 2007
From C. Michon - Grrrl Genius
For those of you who found me through the Grrl Genius blog and don't know what happened to it on I-Village, I give you the following from Cathryn who responded when I posted the question of where she was (on her myspace page):
Hey L.,
It's beyond bizarre, and I still don't truly understand what has happened there.My reps will get into it next week, I am very worried that the actions of ivillage have done me real damage in terms of my public reputation, this was so weird and unexpected, and so not what we had discussed.If you'll forgive me, I'm going to cut and paste to you what I'm sending to the many, many people who have written.I've so loved hearing all your views, both of teaching, of marriage and new love and of being an expat.Thanks for being so much fun!Cathryn
See cut and paste below:
My blog is no longer on the site, in what turned out to be some strange and unexpected drama I didn't need. Two months ago I was told that ivillage was no longer paying for blog content, but I was welcome to keep writing it for as long as I liked. After soul searching, and actually adding up how much time I was spending on it that took away from other career activities, I decided I couldn't do it any more. No controversy as far as I knew. So, below, cut and pasted is what I am sending to the many people like you who are writing and asking, and also the farewell blogpost many didn't get to read.
I suppose if you don't like how this went down you can write comments to the blog of the Love and Sex Editor Josey Miller's blog "Sex On My Desk" or to the blog of Asst. Editor Marissa Gold on "Low Carb Love."The Editor in Chief Jennie Baird has an ivillage connect page that can be found at:http://www.ivillage.com/connectYou need to join ivillage.com to leave a comment there.Thanks, and I am so sorry that we didn't get a more proper goodbye....
Best,Cathryn
B.T.W. Since I wasn't paid for it, the blogpost below is my intellectual property, and you can feel free to post it on your own blog (if you have one) or send it to anyone who was part of the amazing community of readers who gathered at the Grrl Genius blog.
TO THOSE WHO ARE ASKING, "WHAT THE #$%^?": (This is not the blogpost, that's below)
I can't imagine what was so controversial to iVillage.com about what I wrote in this blogpost that they removed every trace of me, all the Grrl Genius blogs and all the archives off the site within 12 hours. In the two years I've been there, bloggers have come and gone, but ivillage has always left their farewell blogs up for weeks and months, allowing fans to follow the blogger to wherever. There was a somewhat strong reaction from readers, a few hours after I posted the blogpost below. There were some vehement protests from my very loyal fans, about 30 comments by the time I went to bed, which is alot, but many of my readers are on east coast time, and I posted this blog at 7:00 P.M. their time. Since I regularly get over a hundred comments on blogs I am sure there would have been many, many comments on this one. I can't think that would have been a suprise to iVillage. I once got over 600 comments when I suggested that maybe, just maybe, if you are married, you should consider having sex with your husband once in a while, if you wanted that marriage to work out. It crashed their server for part of the day.If I had known what was going to happen when I posted this, I'd have done it earlier in the day, allowing the people who seem to read it every day to find out what happened. It never occured to me that iVillage would do this, as my relationship with them has always been really nice. I've had nice lunches with the iVillage ladies, and they've come to my shows. I've done a ton of national media for them, and they've always seemed really supportive. No one there has ever said anything negative about my work there. My blog was the most popular blog that was originated on ivillage.com. I regularly got more comments than even Meredith Viera.I recieved no email notice from them saying that they were taking down the content. They just "disapeared" all of my writing, and the comments of my readers, which were voluminous, at an average of 82 comments per blog.Needless to say, I have gotten a lot of emails, through my website and myspace page from fans, wondering what the hell happened.Here was my farewell blogpost after over two years of writing three times a week for them. If you have any notion as to what could have offended them, I'd love to hear it.All I can think of is a. they don't want people to know they are no longer paying for blog content or b. because they are owned by NBC Universal they were concerned that I mentioned the writer's strike.Though that would be weird, because both authors and readers say inflamatory things on the blogs all the time, use foul language, criticize various corporations or political leaders etc. My contract specifically stated I had full creative control.Hey, I called the makers of Benecol "the heart healthy spread" (that contains trans fats) KILLERS (because they are) so, you know, I've been a lot more inflamatory than I was in what I wrote here.It's just very, very weird. I did not expect this at all. Cathryn
P.S. The full blogpost follows:
Econ 101
My Dad is an economist, and a businessman, and he taught me one thing I will always remember:Time is money.Everybody needs money, and the money that we get comes from how we spend our time. We all make choices everyday how to spend our time (in order to earn a living) and hopefully have some time left over that we can spend with friends and family, knowing that we are sheltered and fed.A few months ago, iVillage.com brought on a new editor in chief, Jennie Baird. I haven’t met Jennie, but she has been highly regarded in the world of the Internet. Previously she was at AOL and was a great success there.Probably because she has observed the trend of free content on the web (most evident in the overwhelming popularity of Youtube) Jennie has made the difficult business decision that iVillage.com will no longer pay for blog content.Which means I can no longer afford to write this blog, and as of next Friday, there will be no more Grrl Genius blog on iVillage.com. I don’t know how long the archives will remain on the site, but I won’t be creating any new content. No one will be taking over the blog because Grrl Genius remains my intellectual property and franchise.It was my decision when I took on this blog to make sure that every blogpost was a well crafted stand-alone column I would be proud to have anyone look at, even if they only read just one posting. As often as possible, I wanted the blogposts to be truly funny, not “funny-esque,” while still being about topics we all cared about. For me, that takes a lot of time to craft. Further, I wanted it to be a real conversation with the readers, not just a one way blurt from me, which took further time. I wanted it to be positive, uplifting and most of all, fun.A fun look at dating and relationships. A blog about love, in all its incarnations.I managed to keep up the pace of three columns I wasn’t ashamed of per week, while making a feature film, working on a network TV show and traveling doing performances (as well as maintaining a constant backlog of upcoming projects, due to the tremendous amount of failure inherent in show business).To survive doing what I do means cooking on high all the time, using all the burners.It’s scary times here in my hometown of Los Angeles. This month the Writer’s Guild (of which I am a member) is taking a strike vote over some issues that are pretty crucial to all artists in my industry, mostly involving, well…(ironically) free content on the Internet, and artists not being paid for the use of their work.For example, the episode I wrote of “Side Order of Life” has rerun on Lifetime, for which Lifetime sells commercials, for which I will get paid with a residual (an ever decreasing fraction of the original amount I was paid to write it).But that very same episode runs on their website (with paid commercials) and millions of people can download it and own it forever and I get paid nothing for that. Most artists in Hollywood also get paid nothing for DVD’s.So the odds are that there will soon be an industry-wide strike in Hollywood over these issues. The networks and studios want us to believe that instead of residuals they will give us a fair share of profits from DVD’s and the Internet. But when a film like “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” which cost 5 million dollars to make and grossed $368 million in theatres (and even more in DVD) is declared by the studio to be “not yet in profit” things don’t look good for artists getting their fair share through this promised "profit participation." That’s why Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson and Nia Vardolas are suing to get their portion of the proceeds of that film.And that’s probably why there will be an industry-wide strike of actors, writers and directors. Every single business in L.A. suffers when there is an entertainment strike. It’s like what happens in Detroit when they stop making cars. I so wish it wouldn’t happen, but smart money is saying it will.Like most of my fellow actors and writers I am just a middle class person in show biz (not a superstar with oodles of money to live off when I’m not working) so I have to spend as much time as I can creating projects I can live off of when there is no paying work to be had as a writer or actress here.Which means I can’t afford to spend the 25 hours a week or so that I spend on this blog.I couldn’t be sadder to say goodbye to all of you. Sharing my writing with you, and reading your responses has been a true pleasure. But I wouldn’t be living the Grrl Genius philosophy I espouse here if I didn’t take care of myself first.I am currently part of a venture that is backed by a major female celebrity who I am not allowed to name (or even coyly hint at) that will be a website that has video content, where I will have a video blog. That’s not due to happen until next year.If you want to stay in touch with what I’m doing, I will post updates to my myspace page www.myspace.com/cathrynmichon) and I will send bulletins to you directly if you join the “new membership” section and leave your email address at (www.grrlgenius.com).So, like my Dad taught me, I have to face up to the fact that my time is my money. I wish I had more of both, so I could afford to spend more time here with all of you.However, as I said here recently, “The meek may inherit the earth, but I didn’t inherit a thing, so I have to work for a living.” I feel blessed that I have been able to do work I love as well as eat three meals a day and have a roof over my head (plus some cute shoes). I’m a lucky Grrl Genius.Please feel free to use the time remaining while this blog is active to promote yourselves, to remind people here where to find your blogs or myspace pages or websites or whatever you are up to, so that you can keep up with each other in whatever way you like.Turn the blog into one big commercial for YOUR genius. I’d like nothing better.It’s been a pleasure to write for you, and to get all the delicious doses of your genius back. I have written 223 blogposts here, and received over 18,000 comments back (18,491 comments to be exact). That means that collectively, you worked on this blog much harder than I did. Thank you so much for being the greatest Internet experience I ever had. I will miss you, and your genius.
For those of you who found me through the Grrl Genius blog and don't know what happened to it on I-Village, I give you the following from Cathryn who responded when I posted the question of where she was (on her myspace page):
Hey L.,
It's beyond bizarre, and I still don't truly understand what has happened there.My reps will get into it next week, I am very worried that the actions of ivillage have done me real damage in terms of my public reputation, this was so weird and unexpected, and so not what we had discussed.If you'll forgive me, I'm going to cut and paste to you what I'm sending to the many, many people who have written.I've so loved hearing all your views, both of teaching, of marriage and new love and of being an expat.Thanks for being so much fun!Cathryn
See cut and paste below:
My blog is no longer on the site, in what turned out to be some strange and unexpected drama I didn't need. Two months ago I was told that ivillage was no longer paying for blog content, but I was welcome to keep writing it for as long as I liked. After soul searching, and actually adding up how much time I was spending on it that took away from other career activities, I decided I couldn't do it any more. No controversy as far as I knew. So, below, cut and pasted is what I am sending to the many people like you who are writing and asking, and also the farewell blogpost many didn't get to read.
I suppose if you don't like how this went down you can write comments to the blog of the Love and Sex Editor Josey Miller's blog "Sex On My Desk" or to the blog of Asst. Editor Marissa Gold on "Low Carb Love."The Editor in Chief Jennie Baird has an ivillage connect page that can be found at:http://www.ivillage.com/connectYou need to join ivillage.com to leave a comment there.Thanks, and I am so sorry that we didn't get a more proper goodbye....
Best,Cathryn
B.T.W. Since I wasn't paid for it, the blogpost below is my intellectual property, and you can feel free to post it on your own blog (if you have one) or send it to anyone who was part of the amazing community of readers who gathered at the Grrl Genius blog.
TO THOSE WHO ARE ASKING, "WHAT THE #$%^?": (This is not the blogpost, that's below)
I can't imagine what was so controversial to iVillage.com about what I wrote in this blogpost that they removed every trace of me, all the Grrl Genius blogs and all the archives off the site within 12 hours. In the two years I've been there, bloggers have come and gone, but ivillage has always left their farewell blogs up for weeks and months, allowing fans to follow the blogger to wherever. There was a somewhat strong reaction from readers, a few hours after I posted the blogpost below. There were some vehement protests from my very loyal fans, about 30 comments by the time I went to bed, which is alot, but many of my readers are on east coast time, and I posted this blog at 7:00 P.M. their time. Since I regularly get over a hundred comments on blogs I am sure there would have been many, many comments on this one. I can't think that would have been a suprise to iVillage. I once got over 600 comments when I suggested that maybe, just maybe, if you are married, you should consider having sex with your husband once in a while, if you wanted that marriage to work out. It crashed their server for part of the day.If I had known what was going to happen when I posted this, I'd have done it earlier in the day, allowing the people who seem to read it every day to find out what happened. It never occured to me that iVillage would do this, as my relationship with them has always been really nice. I've had nice lunches with the iVillage ladies, and they've come to my shows. I've done a ton of national media for them, and they've always seemed really supportive. No one there has ever said anything negative about my work there. My blog was the most popular blog that was originated on ivillage.com. I regularly got more comments than even Meredith Viera.I recieved no email notice from them saying that they were taking down the content. They just "disapeared" all of my writing, and the comments of my readers, which were voluminous, at an average of 82 comments per blog.Needless to say, I have gotten a lot of emails, through my website and myspace page from fans, wondering what the hell happened.Here was my farewell blogpost after over two years of writing three times a week for them. If you have any notion as to what could have offended them, I'd love to hear it.All I can think of is a. they don't want people to know they are no longer paying for blog content or b. because they are owned by NBC Universal they were concerned that I mentioned the writer's strike.Though that would be weird, because both authors and readers say inflamatory things on the blogs all the time, use foul language, criticize various corporations or political leaders etc. My contract specifically stated I had full creative control.Hey, I called the makers of Benecol "the heart healthy spread" (that contains trans fats) KILLERS (because they are) so, you know, I've been a lot more inflamatory than I was in what I wrote here.It's just very, very weird. I did not expect this at all. Cathryn
P.S. The full blogpost follows:
Econ 101
My Dad is an economist, and a businessman, and he taught me one thing I will always remember:Time is money.Everybody needs money, and the money that we get comes from how we spend our time. We all make choices everyday how to spend our time (in order to earn a living) and hopefully have some time left over that we can spend with friends and family, knowing that we are sheltered and fed.A few months ago, iVillage.com brought on a new editor in chief, Jennie Baird. I haven’t met Jennie, but she has been highly regarded in the world of the Internet. Previously she was at AOL and was a great success there.Probably because she has observed the trend of free content on the web (most evident in the overwhelming popularity of Youtube) Jennie has made the difficult business decision that iVillage.com will no longer pay for blog content.Which means I can no longer afford to write this blog, and as of next Friday, there will be no more Grrl Genius blog on iVillage.com. I don’t know how long the archives will remain on the site, but I won’t be creating any new content. No one will be taking over the blog because Grrl Genius remains my intellectual property and franchise.It was my decision when I took on this blog to make sure that every blogpost was a well crafted stand-alone column I would be proud to have anyone look at, even if they only read just one posting. As often as possible, I wanted the blogposts to be truly funny, not “funny-esque,” while still being about topics we all cared about. For me, that takes a lot of time to craft. Further, I wanted it to be a real conversation with the readers, not just a one way blurt from me, which took further time. I wanted it to be positive, uplifting and most of all, fun.A fun look at dating and relationships. A blog about love, in all its incarnations.I managed to keep up the pace of three columns I wasn’t ashamed of per week, while making a feature film, working on a network TV show and traveling doing performances (as well as maintaining a constant backlog of upcoming projects, due to the tremendous amount of failure inherent in show business).To survive doing what I do means cooking on high all the time, using all the burners.It’s scary times here in my hometown of Los Angeles. This month the Writer’s Guild (of which I am a member) is taking a strike vote over some issues that are pretty crucial to all artists in my industry, mostly involving, well…(ironically) free content on the Internet, and artists not being paid for the use of their work.For example, the episode I wrote of “Side Order of Life” has rerun on Lifetime, for which Lifetime sells commercials, for which I will get paid with a residual (an ever decreasing fraction of the original amount I was paid to write it).But that very same episode runs on their website (with paid commercials) and millions of people can download it and own it forever and I get paid nothing for that. Most artists in Hollywood also get paid nothing for DVD’s.So the odds are that there will soon be an industry-wide strike in Hollywood over these issues. The networks and studios want us to believe that instead of residuals they will give us a fair share of profits from DVD’s and the Internet. But when a film like “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” which cost 5 million dollars to make and grossed $368 million in theatres (and even more in DVD) is declared by the studio to be “not yet in profit” things don’t look good for artists getting their fair share through this promised "profit participation." That’s why Tom Hanks, Rita Wilson and Nia Vardolas are suing to get their portion of the proceeds of that film.And that’s probably why there will be an industry-wide strike of actors, writers and directors. Every single business in L.A. suffers when there is an entertainment strike. It’s like what happens in Detroit when they stop making cars. I so wish it wouldn’t happen, but smart money is saying it will.Like most of my fellow actors and writers I am just a middle class person in show biz (not a superstar with oodles of money to live off when I’m not working) so I have to spend as much time as I can creating projects I can live off of when there is no paying work to be had as a writer or actress here.Which means I can’t afford to spend the 25 hours a week or so that I spend on this blog.I couldn’t be sadder to say goodbye to all of you. Sharing my writing with you, and reading your responses has been a true pleasure. But I wouldn’t be living the Grrl Genius philosophy I espouse here if I didn’t take care of myself first.I am currently part of a venture that is backed by a major female celebrity who I am not allowed to name (or even coyly hint at) that will be a website that has video content, where I will have a video blog. That’s not due to happen until next year.If you want to stay in touch with what I’m doing, I will post updates to my myspace page www.myspace.com/cathrynmichon) and I will send bulletins to you directly if you join the “new membership” section and leave your email address at (www.grrlgenius.com).So, like my Dad taught me, I have to face up to the fact that my time is my money. I wish I had more of both, so I could afford to spend more time here with all of you.However, as I said here recently, “The meek may inherit the earth, but I didn’t inherit a thing, so I have to work for a living.” I feel blessed that I have been able to do work I love as well as eat three meals a day and have a roof over my head (plus some cute shoes). I’m a lucky Grrl Genius.Please feel free to use the time remaining while this blog is active to promote yourselves, to remind people here where to find your blogs or myspace pages or websites or whatever you are up to, so that you can keep up with each other in whatever way you like.Turn the blog into one big commercial for YOUR genius. I’d like nothing better.It’s been a pleasure to write for you, and to get all the delicious doses of your genius back. I have written 223 blogposts here, and received over 18,000 comments back (18,491 comments to be exact). That means that collectively, you worked on this blog much harder than I did. Thank you so much for being the greatest Internet experience I ever had. I will miss you, and your genius.
07 October 2007
An out of the ordinary opportunity
A turning point is about to happen. Yes, it's Alternatives. What is this you ask?
"First created in 1978 as an “alternative” experience for those High
School students not involved in the annual Music Tour, this program has
evolved into one of the most talked about and anticipated events in the school
year. It provides students with an opportunity to see new places, meet new
friends, and discover a new skill or passion that will enhance their experience at
ASL and in London. Too popular a program to remain an “alternative” to any
other ASL offering, Alternatives is now seen as an enrichment that is an
alternative to the traditional classroom experience.
This year a total of 26 Alternatives are on offer. Each trip has been conceived and
designed by a faculty member, and all High School students and faculty will
participate in one of the offerings. Some have a service component, some are
activity or skill‐based, and some offer an insight into another culture or area of
Europe, so there are Alternatives to fit everyone." (Alternatives Brochure '07)
So I'm going on a trip. My trip is Scuba in Spain. Yes, we take kids off to the Costa Brava to scuba dive and get certified. In the past two years, I've gotten my Open Water certification through this program...and we have kids who choose to do two years so they too can get to this level.
It's a great program. The kids get to go places and see things they might not do as a normal tourist. From learning to cook in Italy, working with footballers in Milan to a course in running in Scotland, there is something for everyone. You learn. You meet people from every high school class. And kids come back refreshed and a bit more positive about the school. It's an amazing experience that very few teenagers get through their normal high school lives.
And as a teacher, it's quite the bonus. Yes, we do have to look after a bunch of teens and be wary of their desire to go out and do 'bad' things on occasion. Yes, we get a ton less sleep than we would if we were just away with friends (well....maybe not). But we too get to have really cool experiences and get paid for it too!
I may try to get my Advanced Open Water certification this time. I've already done a few dives in that direction. I think I just have to do the navigation part and the deep dive. I'm fine with that. The hardest part was the basic scuba diver cert - there are a few 'scary' things to do, as they are the first time you may have done them...like taking off your mask or taking out your breathing apperatus and tossing it behind you. Scary. But now that you know you can do all that and not freak...the rest is quite easy.
So...I'll not post for a while. We leave on Tuesday at 6am and return on Saturday night. I'll sleep all day Sunday but at least we have off Monday and Tuesday. And when we return, school seems much better for some reason. You've done a bit of it, know that there is another vacation in about one month and then another one month after that. Yeah, the pace goes. And the kids seem to feel much better. And so do the teachers!
A turning point is about to happen. Yes, it's Alternatives. What is this you ask?
"First created in 1978 as an “alternative” experience for those High
School students not involved in the annual Music Tour, this program has
evolved into one of the most talked about and anticipated events in the school
year. It provides students with an opportunity to see new places, meet new
friends, and discover a new skill or passion that will enhance their experience at
ASL and in London. Too popular a program to remain an “alternative” to any
other ASL offering, Alternatives is now seen as an enrichment that is an
alternative to the traditional classroom experience.
This year a total of 26 Alternatives are on offer. Each trip has been conceived and
designed by a faculty member, and all High School students and faculty will
participate in one of the offerings. Some have a service component, some are
activity or skill‐based, and some offer an insight into another culture or area of
Europe, so there are Alternatives to fit everyone." (Alternatives Brochure '07)
So I'm going on a trip. My trip is Scuba in Spain. Yes, we take kids off to the Costa Brava to scuba dive and get certified. In the past two years, I've gotten my Open Water certification through this program...and we have kids who choose to do two years so they too can get to this level.
It's a great program. The kids get to go places and see things they might not do as a normal tourist. From learning to cook in Italy, working with footballers in Milan to a course in running in Scotland, there is something for everyone. You learn. You meet people from every high school class. And kids come back refreshed and a bit more positive about the school. It's an amazing experience that very few teenagers get through their normal high school lives.
And as a teacher, it's quite the bonus. Yes, we do have to look after a bunch of teens and be wary of their desire to go out and do 'bad' things on occasion. Yes, we get a ton less sleep than we would if we were just away with friends (well....maybe not). But we too get to have really cool experiences and get paid for it too!
I may try to get my Advanced Open Water certification this time. I've already done a few dives in that direction. I think I just have to do the navigation part and the deep dive. I'm fine with that. The hardest part was the basic scuba diver cert - there are a few 'scary' things to do, as they are the first time you may have done them...like taking off your mask or taking out your breathing apperatus and tossing it behind you. Scary. But now that you know you can do all that and not freak...the rest is quite easy.
So...I'll not post for a while. We leave on Tuesday at 6am and return on Saturday night. I'll sleep all day Sunday but at least we have off Monday and Tuesday. And when we return, school seems much better for some reason. You've done a bit of it, know that there is another vacation in about one month and then another one month after that. Yeah, the pace goes. And the kids seem to feel much better. And so do the teachers!
02 October 2007
Top Ten Pet Peeves...
#10: people who sneeze and don't cover their mouths.
#9: spelling & gramatical mistakes in the newspaper. I'm horrid at them but they are meant to be professionals!
#8: A salad bar that doesn't have any lettuce leaves left in it.
#7: that high pitched squeal of teenage girls. How do they do it?
#6: Going to the faculty lounge for water...and the last person it left an empty jug behind...so you have to change it.
#5: getting home and finding there is no more milk for your tea on a cold day.
#4: people who don't realize that they are in a public space when using their mobile phone
#3: almost getting killed by a person who is engaging in pet peeve #2.
#2: people who don't use their indicator (blinker) to let you know they are turning.
#1 (today): People who stand in front of the tube doors and look at you as if you are supposed to move for them as they get on. And don't even get it when you give them 'the look'.
#10: people who sneeze and don't cover their mouths.
#9: spelling & gramatical mistakes in the newspaper. I'm horrid at them but they are meant to be professionals!
#8: A salad bar that doesn't have any lettuce leaves left in it.
#7: that high pitched squeal of teenage girls. How do they do it?
#6: Going to the faculty lounge for water...and the last person it left an empty jug behind...so you have to change it.
#5: getting home and finding there is no more milk for your tea on a cold day.
#4: people who don't realize that they are in a public space when using their mobile phone
#3: almost getting killed by a person who is engaging in pet peeve #2.
#2: people who don't use their indicator (blinker) to let you know they are turning.
#1 (today): People who stand in front of the tube doors and look at you as if you are supposed to move for them as they get on. And don't even get it when you give them 'the look'.
01 October 2007
Hard Day's Night
I'm quite happy that kids usually take a while to come to trust a new counselor. I've been here for three years and I'm finally on the 'good' list of the kids. Some trusted me right from day one, but most needed to hear that other kids had good experiences with me...and to be brought to me by those kids. This has allowed me to get adjusted to living overseas, being at a new school, being in a very new environment.
I've had tons of kids who are having a tough time adjusting to the changes in their lives and who are between depressed and anxious most of the time. If I didn't have the time to adjust myself, it might have been hard to help them out. And as you might remember from a previous post, even having had that time doesn't preclude me being stressed out at certain moments.
Today I've already met with three young kids who are all struggling with different issues...from anxiety and frustration with academics to transitional issues to anger and fear about a variety of family events, it's been quite a hectic day. And that's kinda the norm right now...I have a lot on my plate with kids. But it's what I do and I do 'enjoy' what I do...I feel good about my career and how I handle it.
My own adjustment was relatively quick, but it's only due to joining a team and meeting Roy so soon. I had moments where I was very unhappy and scared...so I can imagine that a teenager would have them even more...that these emotions would be amplified by their hormones and the like.
Life is crazy sometimes. And as a teenager, there are so many things that seem out of their control. It's tough. Really, really tough. But hopefully I can be there to help my little kiddos through this time.
I'm quite happy that kids usually take a while to come to trust a new counselor. I've been here for three years and I'm finally on the 'good' list of the kids. Some trusted me right from day one, but most needed to hear that other kids had good experiences with me...and to be brought to me by those kids. This has allowed me to get adjusted to living overseas, being at a new school, being in a very new environment.
I've had tons of kids who are having a tough time adjusting to the changes in their lives and who are between depressed and anxious most of the time. If I didn't have the time to adjust myself, it might have been hard to help them out. And as you might remember from a previous post, even having had that time doesn't preclude me being stressed out at certain moments.
Today I've already met with three young kids who are all struggling with different issues...from anxiety and frustration with academics to transitional issues to anger and fear about a variety of family events, it's been quite a hectic day. And that's kinda the norm right now...I have a lot on my plate with kids. But it's what I do and I do 'enjoy' what I do...I feel good about my career and how I handle it.
My own adjustment was relatively quick, but it's only due to joining a team and meeting Roy so soon. I had moments where I was very unhappy and scared...so I can imagine that a teenager would have them even more...that these emotions would be amplified by their hormones and the like.
Life is crazy sometimes. And as a teenager, there are so many things that seem out of their control. It's tough. Really, really tough. But hopefully I can be there to help my little kiddos through this time.
27 September 2007
Museum trip
I went to the British Museum the other day. I was a chaperone on a field trip with the 10th graders in their European History course. As you can imagine from the pics above, the topic was ancient Greece and Rome.
I haven't been to the British Museum in ages! It was so cool! I looked at pieces from the Parthenon, old jewelry and statues that had amazing details. And this was in only a few rooms!
I am planning on going back some time this winter to see the newest exhibition, the Terracotta Army. It's a shame that I don't ever take the time, especially during the summer, to see all these amazing sites that are here on offer in London. I ought to be ashamed of myself. So I'm going to do it. After hockey season is done with the kids, I'm going to try to take one afternoon a month (at least) to explore museums.
I went to the British Museum the other day. I was a chaperone on a field trip with the 10th graders in their European History course. As you can imagine from the pics above, the topic was ancient Greece and Rome.
I haven't been to the British Museum in ages! It was so cool! I looked at pieces from the Parthenon, old jewelry and statues that had amazing details. And this was in only a few rooms!
I am planning on going back some time this winter to see the newest exhibition, the Terracotta Army. It's a shame that I don't ever take the time, especially during the summer, to see all these amazing sites that are here on offer in London. I ought to be ashamed of myself. So I'm going to do it. After hockey season is done with the kids, I'm going to try to take one afternoon a month (at least) to explore museums.
22 September 2007
In Memorium
This picture shoes the last time I spent with my dog, Amber. It was the day after my wedding and I was heading packing things up. Amber decided she needed to keep me there and plopped herself on my stuff. We got to have a little cuddle and then she went home to my brother's house.
I got Amber when I was working at EHS, a boarding school in Virginia. She was rescued from a family who just couldn't keep her. They hadn't trained her and she was wild. They said she was four, but when I took her to the vet, they said she was only two...and still a puppy. Amber learned to live by my rules and became a much better behaved young lady of a dog. She was a friend through all my stress of working with teenagers. And she protected me from the bad men who tried to break my heart...she knew before I did that they were not nice...or in one instance, that the guy was cheating on me. She had the best instincts...and I learned from her.
When my brother starting talking about how they'd love to have a dog, but weren't sure about training...and I knew I was going to be moving to a place which wouldn't accept dogs...I knew that she was meant for him and my sis-in-law. And they have loved her like I did. Amber became the protector of their baby as soon as he was born. I wish Ryan would have had more time with his dog.
Amber was special. And a lot of us will miss her. Someday I'll get another dog...but it won't be the same as my first 'best friend'. Love ya Amber. Miss ya!
20 September 2007
Sad News
This is an email my sister-in-law sent to me about Amber, a gorgeous platinum blond yellow lab and I gave up when I moved....she is currently living with my brother, sister-in-law and their baby. She's so protective of Ryan...And she's the first dog I've ever owned on my own. I miss her.
"Glad all is going well. Just wanted to give you an update on Amber in case we have some more bad news later today. Amber has been struggling with her right back leg since earlier this summer. At first the vet thought she had clown out her knee. She was on some medication and limited walking. She had a great time in Maine and swam a lot. We took her back for a follow-up visit when we returned and he figured out (at least said he figured out) that her problem had something do with her spine and spinal fluid. She was limping a bit but could walk more. Basically something was effecting her nervous system as she often curled up her right back foot when she stood. Well, yesterday we can home and she couldn’t put any weight on her back right leg. She was fine in the morning and Ev picked up Max earlier in the afternoon and said something was wrong with her back leg. I assumed just that she was limping a bit. Worse than that – she is basically a 3 legged dog at this point. We have a call into the vet and will most likely be in there some time today. She can eat and drinks her water, but can’t move much beyond the door way and it took lots of effort just to take her out to pee. She can’t do anything else. I’m very worried, but she is at least in good spirits and eating. I tell you this not to worry you, but just to let you know and keep you updated. I have a bad feeling in my stomach, but we’ll just have to wait and see what the doctor has to say.Sorry to lay this on you know, but I didn’t want more information to be a total shock. Take care, C."
This is an email my sister-in-law sent to me about Amber, a gorgeous platinum blond yellow lab and I gave up when I moved....she is currently living with my brother, sister-in-law and their baby. She's so protective of Ryan...And she's the first dog I've ever owned on my own. I miss her.
"Glad all is going well. Just wanted to give you an update on Amber in case we have some more bad news later today. Amber has been struggling with her right back leg since earlier this summer. At first the vet thought she had clown out her knee. She was on some medication and limited walking. She had a great time in Maine and swam a lot. We took her back for a follow-up visit when we returned and he figured out (at least said he figured out) that her problem had something do with her spine and spinal fluid. She was limping a bit but could walk more. Basically something was effecting her nervous system as she often curled up her right back foot when she stood. Well, yesterday we can home and she couldn’t put any weight on her back right leg. She was fine in the morning and Ev picked up Max earlier in the afternoon and said something was wrong with her back leg. I assumed just that she was limping a bit. Worse than that – she is basically a 3 legged dog at this point. We have a call into the vet and will most likely be in there some time today. She can eat and drinks her water, but can’t move much beyond the door way and it took lots of effort just to take her out to pee. She can’t do anything else. I’m very worried, but she is at least in good spirits and eating. I tell you this not to worry you, but just to let you know and keep you updated. I have a bad feeling in my stomach, but we’ll just have to wait and see what the doctor has to say.Sorry to lay this on you know, but I didn’t want more information to be a total shock. Take care, C."
Edited on 21 Sept: Here's a pic of my lovely dog with my nephew...she's always trying to be around him. They find out today if she needs to be put down. Keeping my fingers crossed...
19 September 2007
It's all relative!
This past weekend I got to meet up with a few of Roy's relatives. We met at his parent's house and then off to dinner at the Gaucho Grill in Hampstead. It was a party of six - his parents, his aunt and uncle (mom's side) and the two of us newlyweds. The Gaucho Grill has very yummy steaks and is quite a funky restaurant. It's not a romantic place, as the music is loud and the place is very dark. Chairs were covered with animal print, dark wood was all over the place and lights were dimmed with a reddish tone. Even the bathrooms were darkly lit with what seemed to be candles. I guess it's a place for mystery or to be 'seen'.
We had a good time and the visiting relatives tried to pay, but Roy's mom got to the waitress too fast. They still tried to ply their credit card on the waitress, who asked, quite cheekily, if she could use it to buy a new Fendi bag. Cute.
We left the restaurant to wait for Roy to bring the car around...yes, we packed ourselves all in one vehicle (illegal, yes, I know). And as we were waiting, I could hear the uncle say, well, we didn't get the waitress a bag, but we could get one for Liane. "Hey, Liane...what colour bag would you like? Do you like black?" I played along thinking that this would never happen...and yes, black is always my preferred bag colour though I do own several other coloured items.
I don't know why, but we offered to cook dinner for everyone on Tuesday night (last night). With all the craziness going on in my life, it wasn't the most brilliant idea, but in the end it worked out.
I baked a bit on Sunday...trying to make baked donuts which really resembled a nice yeasty bun instead...so we decided to use those for dinner. We chopped all the veg on Monday night and let it marinate with chili and olive oil.
There wasn't too much to do on Tuesday evening, after walking home from my high school field hockey practice...I chopped a bit, put a few things together, cleaned a touch and then put it all in the oven. Garlic and parmesan crusted chicken. No, I don't have a recipe I follow, it's just become my easy signature dish. The side was veg (potato, onion, garlic and pepper) baked in tin foil. It turned out all lovely and yummy.
We all enjoyed some wine and the meal. And surprising me, was a gift of a bag from DKNY. It's a lovely black bag, medium sized...much nicer than anything I currently own. Woo hoo! Cooking for relatives as a newlywed definitely has it's perks!
So they leave tomorrow and I'm meant to head to the in-laws for dinner tonight. Not sure how I feel about it as I'm struggling to stay awake as it is...and coughing up a storm. Wish this cold would go away. But it will be something I'll do...because it is expected. And yes, I am a good wife with Indian relatives. Sometimes you just have to play the game. And I'm lucky that it's not that hard to do, cause my new relatives are all so nice!
This past weekend I got to meet up with a few of Roy's relatives. We met at his parent's house and then off to dinner at the Gaucho Grill in Hampstead. It was a party of six - his parents, his aunt and uncle (mom's side) and the two of us newlyweds. The Gaucho Grill has very yummy steaks and is quite a funky restaurant. It's not a romantic place, as the music is loud and the place is very dark. Chairs were covered with animal print, dark wood was all over the place and lights were dimmed with a reddish tone. Even the bathrooms were darkly lit with what seemed to be candles. I guess it's a place for mystery or to be 'seen'.
We had a good time and the visiting relatives tried to pay, but Roy's mom got to the waitress too fast. They still tried to ply their credit card on the waitress, who asked, quite cheekily, if she could use it to buy a new Fendi bag. Cute.
We left the restaurant to wait for Roy to bring the car around...yes, we packed ourselves all in one vehicle (illegal, yes, I know). And as we were waiting, I could hear the uncle say, well, we didn't get the waitress a bag, but we could get one for Liane. "Hey, Liane...what colour bag would you like? Do you like black?" I played along thinking that this would never happen...and yes, black is always my preferred bag colour though I do own several other coloured items.
I don't know why, but we offered to cook dinner for everyone on Tuesday night (last night). With all the craziness going on in my life, it wasn't the most brilliant idea, but in the end it worked out.
I baked a bit on Sunday...trying to make baked donuts which really resembled a nice yeasty bun instead...so we decided to use those for dinner. We chopped all the veg on Monday night and let it marinate with chili and olive oil.
There wasn't too much to do on Tuesday evening, after walking home from my high school field hockey practice...I chopped a bit, put a few things together, cleaned a touch and then put it all in the oven. Garlic and parmesan crusted chicken. No, I don't have a recipe I follow, it's just become my easy signature dish. The side was veg (potato, onion, garlic and pepper) baked in tin foil. It turned out all lovely and yummy.
We all enjoyed some wine and the meal. And surprising me, was a gift of a bag from DKNY. It's a lovely black bag, medium sized...much nicer than anything I currently own. Woo hoo! Cooking for relatives as a newlywed definitely has it's perks!
So they leave tomorrow and I'm meant to head to the in-laws for dinner tonight. Not sure how I feel about it as I'm struggling to stay awake as it is...and coughing up a storm. Wish this cold would go away. But it will be something I'll do...because it is expected. And yes, I am a good wife with Indian relatives. Sometimes you just have to play the game. And I'm lucky that it's not that hard to do, cause my new relatives are all so nice!
14 September 2007
Up, up and away....
I always complain about men being big ol' babies when they get sick. I usually power through and do what I have to in work and home. But the past few days, I just want to be a baby too...I feel like whining up a storm...staying home and sleeping in. Not doing any work. Awww...poor me. Which is so pathetic. And so not me.
I was raised by a man who was so proud that he had only missed two days of work in 25 years of service to the school where he worked. Now this meant that he probably passed on some serious illnesses to the kids he worked with...but he was there. He was a guy who never went to the doctor - that was for wimps. And he passed this on a bit to his kids. We were the ones who had the spotless records at school...several years of perfect attendance. And when we got to work - how could we miss for any reason? I've moved beyond my dad and won't go in if I'm throwing up or feeling like death...but I still made it to work once during a blizzard, to keep the office going (I worked as a PA at the time).
I do go to the doctor, but only in extreme emergencies, like breaking a wrist. But didn't go when I dislocated my jaw...ice would work out fine.
I don't like that I've learned this habit. As a counselor, I preach taking care of yourself both physically and mentally. I don't want to be superwoman. I'm human. And I don't want to pass this on to any future generation.
So this week I did do a few things for myself. I took one day off from coaching and I came in later to work today (missed the first period class). I probably ought to have called off sick for the full day...but I couldn't let down a few kids who needed to see me today.
I'm not totally moving from being a superwoman...but at least I'm slowly admitting to being more like the human I am.
I always complain about men being big ol' babies when they get sick. I usually power through and do what I have to in work and home. But the past few days, I just want to be a baby too...I feel like whining up a storm...staying home and sleeping in. Not doing any work. Awww...poor me. Which is so pathetic. And so not me.
I was raised by a man who was so proud that he had only missed two days of work in 25 years of service to the school where he worked. Now this meant that he probably passed on some serious illnesses to the kids he worked with...but he was there. He was a guy who never went to the doctor - that was for wimps. And he passed this on a bit to his kids. We were the ones who had the spotless records at school...several years of perfect attendance. And when we got to work - how could we miss for any reason? I've moved beyond my dad and won't go in if I'm throwing up or feeling like death...but I still made it to work once during a blizzard, to keep the office going (I worked as a PA at the time).
I do go to the doctor, but only in extreme emergencies, like breaking a wrist. But didn't go when I dislocated my jaw...ice would work out fine.
I don't like that I've learned this habit. As a counselor, I preach taking care of yourself both physically and mentally. I don't want to be superwoman. I'm human. And I don't want to pass this on to any future generation.
So this week I did do a few things for myself. I took one day off from coaching and I came in later to work today (missed the first period class). I probably ought to have called off sick for the full day...but I couldn't let down a few kids who needed to see me today.
I'm not totally moving from being a superwoman...but at least I'm slowly admitting to being more like the human I am.
12 September 2007
In the midst of madness...
It's been a while since I've written anything in here. But then again, I haven't exactly been spending a lot of fun or quality time on the internet. I have been, in a word, busy. It's a busy that I haven't experienced in a long time. It's been an OVERWHELMING sort of busy. One where I almost cried in front of my boss. One where I've gotten sick cause I just can't slow down. And that's huge. I NEVER get sick. Hardly ever.
It seemed to hit all of a sudden - teaching two classes, grading, coming up with a curriculum for my two programs, meeting with teachers, parents, students during day and evening (two nights out until 9pm at school), coaching and starting to play field hockey, plus all the paperwork involved in getting a bunch of groups out on a field trip to a variety of places (damn paperwork!).
So I'm tired. I feel dead. I'd love to have a sick day, but don't have the time...something that is crazy to me, but so true. I never understood people who said that until now. I truly cannot miss work right now. And once I get back to that point, I'll probably feel fine.
Tonight I'm giving my personal field hockey practice a miss. I just need the relaxation from 7pm onward. I couldn't rush home, eat a small something and then head out to practice from 8-10 pm. I don't get to bed until well past 11pm as I need to shower and relax before sleep will come. It's my one concession that may cost my place on the Ladies' First Team...and to be honest, right now, I don't care. I just want a good solid night of sleep. And time to spend with my gorgeously lovely husband.
I want to talk to him about selling our flat (which got a very low offer the other day, by the way). What to do about our estate agent who isn't sending us our contract and so we're not in any advertisement. To talk about our strategies.
One good thing that is happening today - we are having our flat cleaned for us. It will be a weekly thing. She arrived at 9am (hopefully) where Roy gave her keys and showed her the cleaning materials. I do hope it works, as it will take a lot of stress away. I never thought I'd have someone come to clean...but right now I just can't take that on as well. It'll be a short-term solution, but one I welcome!
So those are a few things I'm going to do to help keep me sane and healthy. I hope to feel better so I can go to the gym this weekend as well as play field hockey. I'm trying to eat better and drink tons of water. Even in the craziness of it all...I still try to do something nice for myself.
It's been a while since I've written anything in here. But then again, I haven't exactly been spending a lot of fun or quality time on the internet. I have been, in a word, busy. It's a busy that I haven't experienced in a long time. It's been an OVERWHELMING sort of busy. One where I almost cried in front of my boss. One where I've gotten sick cause I just can't slow down. And that's huge. I NEVER get sick. Hardly ever.
It seemed to hit all of a sudden - teaching two classes, grading, coming up with a curriculum for my two programs, meeting with teachers, parents, students during day and evening (two nights out until 9pm at school), coaching and starting to play field hockey, plus all the paperwork involved in getting a bunch of groups out on a field trip to a variety of places (damn paperwork!).
So I'm tired. I feel dead. I'd love to have a sick day, but don't have the time...something that is crazy to me, but so true. I never understood people who said that until now. I truly cannot miss work right now. And once I get back to that point, I'll probably feel fine.
Tonight I'm giving my personal field hockey practice a miss. I just need the relaxation from 7pm onward. I couldn't rush home, eat a small something and then head out to practice from 8-10 pm. I don't get to bed until well past 11pm as I need to shower and relax before sleep will come. It's my one concession that may cost my place on the Ladies' First Team...and to be honest, right now, I don't care. I just want a good solid night of sleep. And time to spend with my gorgeously lovely husband.
I want to talk to him about selling our flat (which got a very low offer the other day, by the way). What to do about our estate agent who isn't sending us our contract and so we're not in any advertisement. To talk about our strategies.
One good thing that is happening today - we are having our flat cleaned for us. It will be a weekly thing. She arrived at 9am (hopefully) where Roy gave her keys and showed her the cleaning materials. I do hope it works, as it will take a lot of stress away. I never thought I'd have someone come to clean...but right now I just can't take that on as well. It'll be a short-term solution, but one I welcome!
So those are a few things I'm going to do to help keep me sane and healthy. I hope to feel better so I can go to the gym this weekend as well as play field hockey. I'm trying to eat better and drink tons of water. Even in the craziness of it all...I still try to do something nice for myself.
06 September 2007
And it begins...
So...we decided to invite our preferred real estate agency to come and valuate the flat. They arrived yesterday, met by Roy, and took a look around. They then stated that the flat is worth a minimum of £275,000...but that we ought to put it on the market for £290,000 and realistically, it ought to sell for around £285,000. So after some thought, we decided to go with this agency and they came tonight (I'm still at work for 'Back to School Night') to take pics and get the contract signed. They already have viewings lined up - two tomorrow and two on Saturday!!! Can you believe it? We may have it off the market in a few weeks!!! Fast moving market or what?!
So...we decided to invite our preferred real estate agency to come and valuate the flat. They arrived yesterday, met by Roy, and took a look around. They then stated that the flat is worth a minimum of £275,000...but that we ought to put it on the market for £290,000 and realistically, it ought to sell for around £285,000. So after some thought, we decided to go with this agency and they came tonight (I'm still at work for 'Back to School Night') to take pics and get the contract signed. They already have viewings lined up - two tomorrow and two on Saturday!!! Can you believe it? We may have it off the market in a few weeks!!! Fast moving market or what?!
03 September 2007
Therapy
One of the toughest decisions for some people to make is the one to see a therapist. And that's understandable. Even in today's supposedly enlightened world, there are still some taboos about seeing someone to help you with a problem. It's a shame that some people see seeking out help as being weak instead of being strong...but that will probably never change.
So, let's say you have decided to see a therapist. Who do you go and see? The best thing is to get recommendations from people you know (if you are comfy doing this). If you don't know anyone who has seen a therapist, then as your doctor for a recommendation. For most problems, the first stop is a psychologist, who can assess your issues. But if you think you have a very severe problem, such as clinical depression or anxiety, then it might be best to find a psychiatrist. What is the difference? The psychiatrist is medically trained and therefore is the only type of counselor who is able to give you medication.
There are many different types of therapists and their views on therapy. Don't feel that if you go to one and they don't fit or feel right, that you need to stick with them. Therapists will often even help you find someone new. But don't move only if you feel uncomfortable in therapy - that's a big part of the process. Move if you feel they don't 'hear' you or they seem to be giving you advice that runs totally counter to your instincts. I tend to encourage people to give a therapist at least 3 sessions before they move, just to work through the discomfort of just being in therapy.
Therapy is hard work. It is not fun. You may feel even worse on some days when you leave. But it should always make you think. You should leave with questions for yourself...things to work through.
I'm a huge fan of cognitive-behavioral psychology for a lot of problems. The focus is on changing the way you think, which in turn may help you deal with your behaviors and your emotions. It's used a ton in sports psychology, for anxiety and stress as well as many other issues. But most therapists, even if they have a particular 'bent', will also use techniques from other types of therapy.
When I'm looking for an outside therapist for a kid, I ask them a few questions:
a. Do you want a male or female. For some people, this is very important. For others, it just doesn't matter.
b. Do you care if the person is younger or older. Some people want the long-term perspective and experience, others want to work with someone who is closer to their age and may understand what's happening to the youth of today.
c. Are you ready to be open with this person.
And that is the most important question of them all. A person who is not open will not gain a thing from therapy. This is a person who will not judge you...they have probably heard a lot worse than anything you will tell them, and even if not, this is their job - to listen. If you hold back, then you are keeping a therapist and, quite honestly, yourself, from doing the best job. Cause that's one thing people forget or don't know about therapy - YOU know yourself the best, and so YOU are the one who can help yourself more than anyone else...a good therapist will help guide you and ask you the questions that you might not want to/be able to ask yourself.
One of the toughest decisions for some people to make is the one to see a therapist. And that's understandable. Even in today's supposedly enlightened world, there are still some taboos about seeing someone to help you with a problem. It's a shame that some people see seeking out help as being weak instead of being strong...but that will probably never change.
So, let's say you have decided to see a therapist. Who do you go and see? The best thing is to get recommendations from people you know (if you are comfy doing this). If you don't know anyone who has seen a therapist, then as your doctor for a recommendation. For most problems, the first stop is a psychologist, who can assess your issues. But if you think you have a very severe problem, such as clinical depression or anxiety, then it might be best to find a psychiatrist. What is the difference? The psychiatrist is medically trained and therefore is the only type of counselor who is able to give you medication.
There are many different types of therapists and their views on therapy. Don't feel that if you go to one and they don't fit or feel right, that you need to stick with them. Therapists will often even help you find someone new. But don't move only if you feel uncomfortable in therapy - that's a big part of the process. Move if you feel they don't 'hear' you or they seem to be giving you advice that runs totally counter to your instincts. I tend to encourage people to give a therapist at least 3 sessions before they move, just to work through the discomfort of just being in therapy.
Therapy is hard work. It is not fun. You may feel even worse on some days when you leave. But it should always make you think. You should leave with questions for yourself...things to work through.
I'm a huge fan of cognitive-behavioral psychology for a lot of problems. The focus is on changing the way you think, which in turn may help you deal with your behaviors and your emotions. It's used a ton in sports psychology, for anxiety and stress as well as many other issues. But most therapists, even if they have a particular 'bent', will also use techniques from other types of therapy.
When I'm looking for an outside therapist for a kid, I ask them a few questions:
a. Do you want a male or female. For some people, this is very important. For others, it just doesn't matter.
b. Do you care if the person is younger or older. Some people want the long-term perspective and experience, others want to work with someone who is closer to their age and may understand what's happening to the youth of today.
c. Are you ready to be open with this person.
And that is the most important question of them all. A person who is not open will not gain a thing from therapy. This is a person who will not judge you...they have probably heard a lot worse than anything you will tell them, and even if not, this is their job - to listen. If you hold back, then you are keeping a therapist and, quite honestly, yourself, from doing the best job. Cause that's one thing people forget or don't know about therapy - YOU know yourself the best, and so YOU are the one who can help yourself more than anyone else...a good therapist will help guide you and ask you the questions that you might not want to/be able to ask yourself.
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