Say What?

Something you just don't think you are going to see in the London Underground...

a buddhist monk in his red gown & shaved head.

Thought it might be rude to take his picture. But really, he was there yesterday as I was heading home. Then again, you do see all sorts at the St Johns Wood tube station!

I have to admit that I'm kinda sad that I didn't fully take advantage of living in Kilburn while I was there. I didn't check out all the restaurants or pubs. And now that I've moved, it's more likely that I won't. Perhaps this summer.

What prompted this 'sadness' is the fact that I met up with some people last night at an Indian restaurant just one block from my old house. And it was inexpensive and darn good! What they day about Geeta is true - it's quite plain in decor, but the food is like that which you'd get in a home. It's not as English as most Indian restaurants...catering to the tastes of the local neighborhood. Instead of being very hot, it is spicy. Instead of being very heavy, it's just flavorful. And it was really very inexpensive! R. & I spent around £30 TOTAL and shared a starter (masala dosai), had two mains & two beers each.

After the dinner, the group headed to the North London Tavern (just a few blocks away). We had a beer here & just enjoyed the company. While it's not the best pub ever, it'd be nice to have it in Cricklewood as our local. Sigh.

So, if you ever get to London and want a decent meal on the cheap & good beer, check out Geeta & the North London Tavern. I'd say it's worth the detour!

The First Game

Yesterday we had our first cricket game. It was a decent day...it wasn't raining (which it has been for a while), there were bursts of sun and it wasn't uncomfortably cold. We seemed 'on' and excited about playing. I certainly was.

We started off fielding. I play in what is the equivalent to the outfield (if you only know baseball) in a position known as deep square leg. The reason I play here is that I have a good arm. I can usually make it to the wicket from the boundry in only a bounce or two. And on this game day I got a LOT of work. Our bowlers (pitchers) were giving them some lovely shots to hit in my direction. On the positive side, I was told that the other team didn't try to get an extra run cause they figured I'd run (throw) them out! After 25 overs (each over is 6 bowls), we took a break and it was then going to be our turn. They scored 149.

Next came our turn at batting. I was the second batter. While I did fine in the beginning, I made one big ol' mistake and got out. It was a great throw by the bowler. Still...ya never like getting out. We had a few good runs but didn't get to 150...we made it to our 25 overs and scored 107. Happy we got over 100 runs for our first game (the other team was more experienced)...but hope we can get even better!

The Rock

What is it about engagement rings that make people so crazy? If you do a search on google, you'll see that there are thousands of sites dedicated to selling this one piece of jewelry. Amazing.

The wonderful thing about the UK is that people don't have the expectation that you are going to have a HUGE ROCK on your hand. The majority of people have a nice diamond and many people actually choose to have a different kind of stone as their engagement rings. And I think that is cool.

When you check out American sites though...bigger is better! Even the pics they put on the sites are shown as larger than they truly are...cause you wouldn't want to be seen as having one that is tiny, would you? And two months salary as a guide? Crazy!

I do have friends who seriously wanted more than a one carat diamond ring...irregardless of the cost or the fact that it might make more sense to save some of this cash for other things. Yes, I do realize that it's an important piece of jewelry for some...that you are going to be wearing it for the rest of your life...but have you ever tried to actually DO SOMETHING when you're wearing a big ol' honking ring? It's kinda tough.

What goes through my mind is the fact that I'm going to be sharing money with my new hubby...his money & my money will be melding in a lot of ways. So if he spends £5000+ on a ring, it takes away from money we could spend as a couple...say helping pay for a car or putting it toward our house downpayment. I just want something simple. Something that is an engagement ring...but a ring that I can wear for life, that won't get in the way & one that doesn't detract from our ability to pay for a really cool honeymoon (travel is more important to me than jewels).

So I'm hoping that when I go to the States and meet up with friends and family, that they don't grab my hand, take one look at my modest ring (that we'll be buying over there) and give me that look...you know the one...the one that say, oh, so he just didn't have the money to pay for a ring...or the, oh, your fiance is just too cheap to spend that much money. I HATE THAT! Cause marrying R isn't about getting a diamond...it's about our lives together. He's neither cheap nor poor - we just figure that there are more important things in life than carats!

'Dem Blogs

I started writing a blog after reading a few that made me laugh. I've been reading a few for quite a while and decided that it was my turn to write about my life. I didn't really care if anyone else read or made any comments (which is good as no one has left a comment yet for me!), but I thought it'd be great to share my thoughts to anyone who might care and especially to leave my thoughts as I go through this great journey of love and life. I want to be able to look back and see what I was thinking just months or (hopefully) years ago.

When you read a blog that has been going on for years, it's cool to see how people grow and change. I have two favorite blogs which I've read for a while that follow the lives of two women. One is recently married, one is still single...and both of their journeys are interesting to read. You should check them out: http://thesmitten.ivillage.com/love/ and http://thisfish.ivillage.com/love/.

They then led to me a few new blogs which I am beginning to read religiously (darn them!). The first is a food blog. As a complete foody, I LOVE going on there to read a new idea or recipe. Such yummy stuff is on offer. If you love food, you have to check out: http://www.nosheteria.com/.

And then finally, while spending time on ivillage, I found my latest blog...one that supports 'women power'. Her latest blogging was very similar to the one I just posted yesterday...about women and viewpoints. Grrl Genius is very fun to read.

I hope to find more and more blogs that strike a cord. While it does take away from some of my day to read them...it's like a little present each day. Sometimes there's a new post, and I'm thrilled, sometimes there's not and it heightens the anticipation!

Smashed

I recently read a book that was very poignant. It's call Smashed: Growing up a drunk girl by Koren Zailckas. While I was one of those girls who didn't drink in high school (aka 'the geek'), I remember how my friends reacted to drinking and that 'freedom'.

So many of us start out our lives feeling quite good about who we are and how we look...children typically don't feel fat. But then, at least in my generation, the focus on looks and popularity and doing the 'right thing' started...probably around age 13 or 14. So many girls went on diets. So many slept with guys to feel attractive and okay. So many pulled away so hard from their parents that their heads were spinning.

What is it about our society that allows young women to feel so lost. And so much so that they need to turn to alcohol and other drugs to hide from these feelings of hurt & anger. Why are we told to be nice and good, and that looking perfect is part of that? What is it that makes us want to get 'smashed'?

I know women who just haven't grown from this yet. They still see themselves as awkward teens. I know women who still, in their 30s, drink to feel okay at a party or to be able to flirt better. And I know that I was that way for so very long. The things we learn in adolescence has such a strong hold. And the scary thing is that the message is being sent earlier and earlier...we have 12 year olds getting pregnant, 11 year olds in rehab, and 9 year olds dealing with eating disorders. How do we stop this? Or is this the route that eventually will cause us to implode? I don't have the answers...but I know that if I have a little girl, I'll work my darndest to make her feel okay for as long as I can. I'll never, ever, talk about diets or being 'fat' or anything like that. And hopefully, she'll grow up thinking that everything is not about looks...that she's more than that. And that she can BE.

I coach a youth field hockey team (or just hockey as they call it over here). The girls are aged around 11-13. It's such an interesting age for girls...for the most part, they are completely self-absorbed at times, have a tough time focusing (even during a game), are more interested in how they look and scattered. But not always and not all of them.

Yesterday we had our one and only day of games. We were playing a group of young ladies from a local British school. Let me tell you, it was not pretty! The girls on the other team have seen the game and played in PE since they were able to run around. My girls on the other hand just began to learn the game this spring. We only had about 10 practices in total...have you ever tried to learn a sport? It takes a while. But on the good side, they had a lot of fun learning something new & we may be able to get them to play in the senior teams (high school age). So we'll build up this sport to make it better.

A cool thing that happened is that a large number of parents showed up. And they brought treats. Cup cakes, oranges and fruit bars were exploding all over the place...juice dribbling down their faces which were caked with chocolate icing. It was good to see the kids NOT dieting at their age but enjoying treats while they still can!

So we lost and tomorrow is our last training session. I'll miss them...while they can be almost like typical teens, they also can be utterly sweet & look up to a grown adult woman who pays attention them. It's nice to be a mentor of sorts...even if it's just about athletics.

Hi, Ho, De, Merry-O, A walkin' we shall go...

It was Saturday night. A time when most people are planning to go out to dinner, drink at the pub, watch a movie, read a good book or curl up at home with a loved one. That is exactly what I would have wanted to do...but I had to go on a walk.

Saturday night, five of us from work met up in Hyde Park to take part in the Playtex Moonwalk. We met around 8pm and found a space in this huge tent.



We were excited about doing the walk. We felt we were contributing to something worthwhile...something worth giving up a Saturday night of fun and sleep...and potential pain!

The fun thing about the walk is that you are supposed to decorate a bra. We did not like the ones that they sent (you really need a sports bra for this sort of thing), so we decorated our sports bras. We had a USA sort of team - all red, white & blue with flashy bits and feathers...quite special I tell you. But there were all sorts of funny & funky people with some great designs. From a bra that looked like boobs (nipples & piercings included), to eyes and more, there were some fun themes. Here's one person who was sitting next to us...and yes, even men did it!



We began around 11:40-something in the evening. And we vowed to stick together through blisters, bathroom breaks, water stops and stretching. And we did. We started the walk in Hyde Park and began the walk toward the river. We went along the river on both the south and north banks and headed toward Fulham & Kensington at different times. We laughed at jokes, sang all sorts of songs, talked to people we didn't know and made fun of the drunks who came out to cheer us on (and we thanked them too, but boy were they out of it!). I took a bunch of pics, most of which are blurry due to walking & pic taking...but you'll get a sense of how the light changed in our 8+ hours. I'm sore today. But boy, it was something to do. And we'll never forget the strange man in the spotted shirt and his clingy girlfriend...there are just some things you ought not to do in public! (ask me about it if you want!)

To see the flicker show, just check this out: Flicker Show

Break in

It's 9:30pm. Roy & I are just about ready to go to bed (it was a late night due to Arsenal game the night before). And then he gets a phone call. It's A. My old flatmate.

A. I can't get into the house. The chain is locked.

L. What? How did that happen?

A. I think someone is in there.

L. Shit. Call the police.

A. No. I want you and R. to check it out first to make certain I'm not being idiotic.

L. We're coming, but you really ought to call the police.

Now I'm quite peeved that this is happening. I'm exhausted from this week...I just wanted an early night with lots of sleep. I was feeling ill from being so tired. And R wasn't so pleased either. But she's our friend, so we're heading over.

We get there and, yes, the chain is locked. So we call the police and talk to our nice neighbors who let us wait inside their house. The police come within 10 minutes (which is very reassuring)...in fact another set come 10 minutes after that. They cut through the chain to get in and do a search. The place has been turned upside down.

We have to wait for another 1-1/2 hours until the crime division come to try to get finger prints. And then after that we can check on stolen stuff...cause we're not allowed to touch anything.

Luckily none of the big stuff was taken - A's computer, our big screen tv, etc. But we both lost a couple of gold jewelry items. My high school class ring, my gold watch that was given to me on my 16th birthday, a gold bangle from Italy and a few other cheap gold things. Nothing that mean much to me (or else they would be with me at R's place)...but still, my stuff that I left there was all mussed up.

So, we finally left the house and took A. to Roy's. We emailed our bosses and told them we'd be in late. And we slept in a bit, had coffee and cereal & took the bus in. And now sitting at work, a bit more tired (but happy it's Friday), I'm glad that I've moved out and that A. will be moving to another place in one month. Sigh. Living in the city can be hard...but they haven't broken me yet.

Ewwww!

As you may recall, I typically love riding on buses and trains and the like. Typically. But today, my people watching came to an ugly conclusion. I got on the tube in West Hampstead as per usual, rushing to get a seat in the car up front...usually there aren't seats so if you see them, you rush to them! Ahhhh...comfort. It was especially lovely as I was wearing a pair of high heeled boots (it's cold here today...rainy and in the 50s/60s). And then I began my people watch. I've gotten quite good at being subtle about it. But today, there was no need for caution...the person I looked at first didn't seem to know that he was in a public space. Why do I think that? Well...he was picking his nose. At first, he started by rubbing the side of his nose, as if it was itchy. Not a problem, we all do that. And then the finger went in...not too far, but definitely in. And then he went to town. And played with the results. It was like a train wreck...I just couldn't look away. And just as we were reaching my stop, the finger went into the mouth.

As I gagged and left the carriage of the train, I wondered what it is about being on public transport that makes someone like that feel like he's in his own private world. Didn't he notice that there were people around. I mean, come on, I know a lot of people do pick their noses, but they do it in the privacy of their own homes...with no one else around. Ick. What are we teaching people these days?

SWEET!

Last week, my boss came to my office to ask me if I would take on some extra work in the fall. It related to what I was already doing, but would still mean I would have more to do each day. I thought about it and decided to take on this new task. I expected that I'd make an extra thousand pounds or so in my salary, but she let me know just yesterday afternoon that I would be getting an extra 1/5th of my salary for taking that on. Yes, a 20% RAISE! Woohoo! What this means is that I will have the money to pay for my honeymoon - any honeymoon I want...so R. can't use expense as a deterent to any of my potential plans. Woohoo!!! This rocks!
(But ask me again in the winter after I have to bring work home yet again!)

I went to see the movie 'Confetti' yesterday with my old flatmate, A. We were kinda excited about it. In case you haven't heard about it (not sure if it's being advertised in the US or basically anywhere other than the UK), here is a synopsis of it:

Three couples compete for the mantle of Britain’s most unique wedding, with a £500,000 house and a massive photo spread in top wedding magazine Confetti at stake. Fitness enthusiasts Josef and Isabelle want a tennis-themed wedding while Matt and Sam go for a dramatic Hollywood musicals theme. And Michael and Joanna, a pair of naturalists, want their nuptials to be a celebration of the environment. Interfering wedding planners make sure that each ceremony has its fair share of hiccups in this hilarious comedy.

It's meant to be a 'mockumentory'...it was filmed freefall style, with no script. The idea is based on the company, Confetti, which focuses on wedding information. There are even stores around the UK.

And to be honest...it wasn't good. It wasn't bad, but it certainly was not worth the £8.80 that I paid to go see it. The idea was fun, some of the scenes were cute (loved the wedding planners...they ruled), but overall it was just way to amateur feeling. Which is a shame cause they got some great actors...ah, well. The one thing it did do is remind me that it's not the wedding that matters, it's the marriage...the couples were most happy once the whole thing was finished.

So...if the movie makes it's way to your city or town...I wouldn't go. But rent it. It's cute enough for that.

FLR

It's official. I'm allowed to stay here and work for the next five years...unless, of course, I get fired or something like that. In which case I guess I'd have to get a spouse visa after marrying R. It's an interesting world, the one of the expat...we have to get visas to live elsewhere. Some people don't understand this. They think that if you live in the USA that you ought to be able to move whereever you want. Nope...you have to have something to offer to the country that they think is important enough to let you in and stay. A pain for all those Anglophiles!

So I went to the Home Office in Croydon yesterday (had a lovely 9am appointment)...it took two trains, a tube ride and some walking to get there...yup, left about 7:15 and got there around 8:30. But found the place.without too much difficulty. I was let in immediately (there was a line of people waiting for appointments after mine) and started the whole process. First you get in a line to check in. You need to have your application and all other paperwork with you or that's it...you are sent home. But I had everything. So then you are sent to pay for the visa. You get to pay the grand sum of £500. Glad that work is paying for this one (which reminds me I have to turn in the receipt!). Then off to meet with someone who will decide your fate. I had to wait about 1/2 hour until my number was called and then met with him for 1/2 hour. And I was approved! Then sent away for one hour or so while they do what they have to do to your passport. I returned and waited one more hour until I got my passport back. And then I was free.

So now I have my further leave to remain for 5 years. Woo hoo! I'm a Londoner!

Fat Days and Holidays

I am having one of those days that EVERY woman knows about (even the stick figure ones)...yes, a fat day. Normally, even if I want to lose some weight due to not fitting into a skirt I love or having eaten everything in sight, I quite like my body in an overall sense. It's been good to me. It helped me play some fun sports, helped me play a sport that got me into an Ivy League university, has gotten me some good ol' lovin' and has allowed me to continue doing the stuff that I enjoy. But today...I'm not loving my body. And I know it's my own darn fault. I have given in to the diet monsters. I have eaten crap, drank like a fish and not done an ounce of exercise in the past few days. And on top of that...I'm frickin' premenstral. (Sorry guys)

So...what's a girl to do when she's having a fat day and she has to go to work? (Cause otherwise she'd just sit at home in sweats) Well...first of all you put on cami clothing. Yup, a good dose of black and a skirt that hugs in the right places and not in the others. You work hard to have a GREAT hair day and your makeup must be perfect. You laugh a little louder. Drink tons of water. You don't go for the chocolate and stay away from that worker who ALWAYS has brownies on her desk. And you find some way, any way, to get a little exercise in, even if it kills ya! And so that's the plan folks. I will do what I was meant to do all last week but didn't...eat in a healthy manner and go to cricket training for my exercise. And I'll focus on things other than my body. It'll be tough. And I won't like it all that much (other than cricket). But I'll do it.

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On a side note - got some information from a few places in India about weddings in Kerala. I kinda like one of the companies as they are suggesting some interesting things - like a Mehendi ceremony for me or a night and ride in a houseboat along the backwaters of Kerala. I always wanted to do something different. Now if I can only convince him that spending some money on this will be worthwhile...he's such a boy!!!

Good for the soul, bad for the body

I had a great weekend. Absolutely fantabulous.

Friday afternoon: it all started out with a 'friend' from work inviting me to hang with her gang to celebrate her birthday. Now this group of people have not really done much to make me feel welcome. They haven't done anything recently to make me feel unwelcome, but a few had in the past. And yet, because I'm friendly with the birthday girl, I decided I wanted to go and hang. And I had fun. The group was lovely to me and made me feel part of it all. I had to leave earlier than any of them, but that was okay. I'm happy that I went.

Friday evening: I met R. in Golders Green. We were going to friends for dinner. The guy has played cricket with R. and the girl is his fiance. We all get on quite well. We arrived, carrying some wine & cheese & crackers (always a welcome combo). And the binge commenced...lots of jambalaya, salad, cheese, crackers, pudding (desert) and wine up the wazzoo! It was a glorious gourmet feast. We left by taxi at around 1am. And happily passed out soon thereafter!

Saturday day: we did next to nothing. We made food (again) and just relaxed. We went food shopping to get even more food. And cleaned a bit. We ended up watching X-Men (1st one) as I want to go see the 3rd in the series and R. had never seen it. We weren't hungover either, which was amazing considering the bottles of wine that were consumed.

Saturday evening: It was Quiz Night at the club. R. was part of a team & I was one of the scorers. I helped along with two hockey/cricket players (female) and the daughter of the quiz master, Jim Carter (hubby to actress Imelda Stauton who stopped on by to say 'hi'). Another night of food and drink plus lots of social stuff. When Jim introduced the scoring table, he had to announce my engagement...which started all sorts of hoots. We left at a more normal time this evening and had a booze fueled sleep.

Sunday morning: I decided to make homemade pancakes...no mix or nuttin'! And they turned out okay. I was quite pleased and will do it again some time in the future. R. went off to his folks house and I was left to watch "Girl with a Pearl Earring". What a great afternoon...though it was marred with the fact that I had to do some work. Then R. returned to watch Arsenal kick some tush & make it to 4th place, thus guaranteeing a return to the Champions league. Woohoo. We also did a touch of cleaning (well, I did a lot) and R. cooked dinner for me. We finished the night watching Invasion & Lost. Once again, a lovely evening.

So - too much food and drink...but lots of relaxation & fun. And now...it's back to Monday.

Checking

R. & moi are lying in bed, as per usual, and just snuggling. L. notices that R. is rather pensive. And so she says...

L. So, what's up?
R. I'm just thinking about things.
L. Like?
R. My new job, our relationship, fears.
L. What are you scared of?
R. Well, it's not really scared, maybe concerned, maybe just checking.
L. Checking?
R. Well, I always do checks about our relationship to make sure I'm doing the right thing. You know that I love you and that I am totally committed to marrying you, but I have to do these checks. I ask myself am I doing the right thing. Yes. Do I love her. Yes. Do I want to marry her. Yes. Will we most likely have a great future. Yes. And then I'm fine.
L. Hmm. I think I "checked" about 5 times in our relationship...early on, that first January after our first argument, February of this year when I was worried that you were going to break things off and your parents were being crazy mean about things...and of course when you asked me I did it instantly. Do I think about our future? Yes. But do I question our happiness or potential? No.
R. I know it's strange, but it's something I do. But know that I do love you. I just worry about my parents and what affects they can have on our relationship.
L. Honey - we get to choose what effects they have on us...if you & I decide that your parents WON'T have an effect on us, then it won't. We hold the key here.
R. I'm still worried.
L. I know.

Until I get married to R. his parents will have a hold on him and our relationship. It's so frickin' frustrating that this won't go away. I know it will have effects for life and that's one of the things I'll have to deal with, but I feel for R. He so doesn't want to make them unhappy...but he's going to have to. Or else make both of us unhappy. Ugh!

I received my first brochure for weddings/honeymoons at a "destination"...we are looking at Maritius, Indian (Goa & Kerala), Kenya and South Africa. We have thought about actually getting married at these locations but not sure as of yet. My parents may want to see me get married and offer to host a wedding and reception. I know that R. isn't interested in a church type wedding so I'm not sure how it would work out. This is one of those areas that we have to deal with as he's non-religious and I grew up in quite a religious family (even though I'm not into going to church either).

I'm trying to look at the pros & cons of each place we're thinking about...and doing as much research as I can online. Gotta love TripAdvisor. I can check out the comments of people. And of course I've gotten clicked in to a bunch of 'wedding' websites that cater to UK folk...so they write about these destinations. I checked out one American one and most people there stick to the Carribean, Hawaii and US locales (or Europe). So, hopefully we'll get enough information to make some decisions after our trip to the States in June/July. We'll need to book so that we can get the resort & time that we want (I think April of 2007). For a research geek like me, it's all sorts of fun! Can't wait to get more brochures that I can mark up for R. to look at after he's dealt with the fact that we're actually doing this marriage thing! ;-) Maybe it's time to go online and register at other sites...

I hate diets. I hate the idea of dieting. I had some food issues back in college so that I never want to go back there. Basically, my field hockey coach told me I was too fat. Yes, she told this to a 19 year old who had just lost a bunch of weight. I was probably 5' 5" at that point (I grew in college) and probably weighed about 130 lb with 22% body fat. Does this sound fat to you? So I decided to lose even more weight. I don't know what I actually weighed, but it's only due to beer that I kept a reasonable weight on...I ate next to nothing each day - a few bagels or some veggies. And then the woman had the nerve to have the captain come up and talk to me about losing too much weight when I hit 21. Are you kidding me? How much can you mess up a female's mind?!!!

So after that I decided that I would no longer go on diets. Of course, I have, but nothing as insane. And I still hate them. But the problem is...I've gained weight. I moved over here weighing in the 130s and am solidly in the mid-140s. I don't care about weight but I'm also not able to fit into clothing that I love and want to keep...plus shopping for bigger sizes really sucks! Especially in England as you are already 1-2 sizes larger to begin with (a size 10 in US is a size 12 or 14 in UK). And I know the reason I gained weight due to boy. Yup, spending so much time cooking with him and being served insane portions that he's encouraged me to eat has done me in. Yup - it's HIS fault. Okay...I recognize it's my fault but it's easier to take it out on him!

So...I decided to join Weight Watchers. And modify it. There is no way that I can exist on the amount of food that they want me to eat. It's insane. But it's making me look at my food differently - I am eating WAY more veggies...and cutting back on sugar...and eating smaller portions. And I am actually recording my food on the website. Whew. Hopefully I can keep this up and six months later I'll weigh my 'old' way. But in the meanwhile...I'm not on a diet. I'm just watching out for my health. (gulp)

I have started a specialized blog to write about my progress. I want to keep it separate from here, which is more about life & living. But if you want to check it out, please do: http://ukyankee.extrapounds.com/.

The Long Weekend

There have been a lot of good things about coming to work in the UK. For example, meeting the man of my dreams who I'll be marrying in the next year or so. Another example is the fact that the attitude toward socializing is much more relaxed...we even have small gatherings with alcohol AT work quite regularly. And if you wanted, you could hang with the 'gang' every Friday night (not that I want to or do...but I could). And finally, one of the best things (outside of meeting R.) is the fact that we have amazing vacations over here. Just yesterday we had a day off. Yup, another long weekend. And there will be another one at the end of the month. It's great! In my field, we typically get decent vacations anyway, but here it's even better (in my view!). So...what did I do with my time?

Friday: left work at around 4:30pm. R. was having his 'leaving do' to celebrate his last day at his job. I met him at the Princess Royal near Old Street station. I was the first there, at a pub with a bunch of servers and only 2 other customers. But I had smartly bought a paper & so got my vodka and tonic for the wait. R. showed up about 15 minutes later. Along with him, and soon after him, came his workmates. Now...imagine...a large number of IT guys (plus one woman) all together. Quite a sight, eh? I had fun chatting with them about R. and getting all sorts of dirt. R. decided that it was a night for him to get completely smashed as I was there to take care of him. Woohoo. I finally got him to leave 5 hours later so that we could get some food...he was blotto and couldn't really tell me where to go so we ended up at the first curry house along the way. It was fine, but I had a challenge of keeping R. on task and relatively quiet. Finally, we finished our food (it wasn't all that great) and got on the tube. Here I had to support R. (no seats) and keep him awake. I certainly got to laugh a bunch of times, though I have to admit I got a bit frustrated at points. But he's taken care of me plenty of times, so he rightly deserved the chance to go all out. I finally poured him into bed where he proceeded to snore his night away.

Saturday: Time for a walk. I left Cricklewood at around 11:30am for a picnic in Hampstead Heath. I brought my map as I was going to walk over to Hampstead and then down toward the southeast end where a bunch of friends were gathering. Hampstead is a rather interesting place...not at all on a grid system. So I winded in and out of roads, getting a touch turned around at times and ended up much higher up than I expected. But it was lovely. The houses there can be so quaint and pretty. And while it was up hill, I knew that I'd hit the 'down' soon! I went to the outdoor market & purchases some lovely looking raspberries for my meal (I decided to go on a diet after the night before...Weight Watchers, here I come!). In and out of roads, finding paths to where I was going. Finally, I found the path I was looking for and 1 hour and 30 minutes later, I was at the picnic site. There I was joined by the hosts and eventually by 7 others, plus 2 babies/kids. We ate some food (I ate more than my berries I'm afraid...bad dieter, bad!), laughed and wine was poured (I was good and had a very small glass).

R. did not join me as he had a cricket match...and I had promised to come and see some of it. So a few hours later, I went on my merry way, walking toward the cricket pitch. I missed seeing him bat (46 pts) but was able to get there before the end. His team won. Which was good as he wasn't feeling particularly well at that moment! Hee hee. We hung out with the team for a bit and then headed home to cook. I was going to make a lovely Mediterranean dish but we didn't have any tomatoes, fresh or otherwise and I wasn't in the mood to run out. So instead I decided to use the salsa and make a Mexican meal with roasted peppers & onion to boot. And it turned out quite nice too!

R. decided that he would join me in watching "The Chorus". He's not really into independent films, but this one he truly loved. It's the story of a boy's school for 'bad boys', a few years after WWII. A teacher arrives who treats them compassionately and who begins a choir. He saves a few boys along the way. It was wonderful. A good ending to a great day.

Sunday: The boys went out to play cricket, so my friend, G., invited me to go shopping. We met at noon at TK Maxx (like TJ Maxx in the States). We tried on all sorts of things, from dresses to shoes to tops to skirts. And we each found a few things. G. found a lovely blue polka dot dress that fit her to a tee, as well as a cute stripy top that would be great with jeans or a black skirt. I found a pair of shoes with a wedge heal that ties up around your ankle...it's tan with little flowers on it...different than anything else I own. I also purchased a black & white skirt with a bold print, a 1/2 sleeve sweater with embroidered flowers and a black tank sweater with white trim that will go well with the skirt or almost anything else. And it was all for £75! The price of a decent pair of shoes. I was chuffed. We then walked over to the mall. There we didn't find any clothing, but were able to get some jewelry. In a fit of accessorizing, I bought two pairs of earrings and 2 necklaces that were on sale at Mikey. As I don't own too much jewelry but wanted to branch out, I was pleased with my purchases.

I ended my Sunday with R. We didn't do too much as we were both tired.

Monday: R. & I went to the Science Museum. I think we're a bit too old for the place in a lot of ways, even though we did find a few things to be interesting. I was disappointed that they had removed the psychology section, but did enjoy other parts. We left after about 2 hrs, which was just in time as it was getting packed! We had been thinking about heading to the Museum of Natural History but the queue was huge. Nah...not worth it, plus R. was dead tired. So off to home it was. We rested a bit, ate some leftovers for lunch, then went food shopping. Finished the day watching Arsenal win though one of their young new players got nailed and may be badly hurt. I cut R's hair to be ready for his new job today. And then off to bed. It was my favorite part of the day...we chose to go to bed 1 hour early so that we could lie there and chat. We end up talking about so much more when we're in the dark and lying there. It was a good cuddle and then off to sleep.

Yup, a good long weekend. Hopefully the week will continue with this trend!

Last night, yes, a school night, I went out with friends from my hockey team. The lovely West Hampstead Ladies' 2s. We were celebrating our amazing no-loss, winning the league season. And quite a few of us showed up! Being the early bird that I am, I showed up first at The Washington. It's an old Victorian pub that still has some of the characteristics. High ceilings with funky design (like the old tin ceilings you sometimes find in bars in the States), quaint lighting and a good size bar. The wine was yummy and not too overly pricey, which is always a good thing. I got a chance to look around, do my favorite people watching and try not to look like I felt too uncomfortable cause I was alone in a somewhat crowded bar filled with couples and groups.

But soon Claire showed up (she lives nearby). We chatted about my engagement, how to deal with awful mother-in-laws who think their sons are still their 'lil baby boy' and how we're going to rock next season. Claire & I are 'hair sisters' as we both have to deal with our curly locks...though she has much tighter curls than mine. So, of course, part of the discussion was on product and hair cuts from hell!

And then the team came pouring in, one after another until all 10 of us were sitting around a table in the (thank goodness) no smoking section. We chatted about 2007 when pubs become no smoking and we can go home smelling just as lovely as when we arrived. We received our gold medals from winning the league (and yes, I will wear it to work next week like a total chav).

It felt kinda fitting that I left first...but as I had to be up at 6:30am, I felt I should be responsible and get home to get some sleep. Bleary eyed is just not a good look on me! I tried calling Roy to see if he was still at his parents, but didn't get him (was hoping to get a ride!), so I had to walk up the hill to the tube station. I fully expected to have to grab a bus to get home after I got out of the tube, but I lucked out that Roy was in the area & on his way back from the 'rents. And so I got picked up and taken home. Bed came soon after. Man...what a good night!

Quote of the Day

"Are we living in captivity or in the wild?" It was a quote that came up today at lunch (work). We have quite interesting conversations usually about all sorts of topics and we were discussing this topic about captive animals versus those in the wild...and then the quote came up. And it got us all thinking.

Some came at it philosophically, that if we don't believe that we are captive, then we aren't. That if we are free to make choices then we are still in 'our' wild. Others talked of rules and society and the constraints we have in our lives...yes, we are captive, but perhaps it's good. And yet others talked of our souls versus our bodies. Yup, very intellectual stuff...that led to a discussion of bird flu and then of how long a bird can last with its head chopped off. Sigmund Freud, eat your heart out...we are the kings of free association!

So...whatta ya think? Are you living in the wild or are you a captive?

Just put one foot in front of the other

The blahs. Have you ever had them? I don't tend to get them often but when they hit...whammo. Typically, I'm one of those people who will drive you crazy with optimism. It's a good trait for my job, if not a necessary one, and also just is part of my personality anyway. It makes life so much nicer to think that there are silver linings or that you can learn from adversity, and I tend to have pretty decent coping skills. But for some reason, the 'blahs' can sneak up on even the most happiest of people. And I mean, really, here I am, in good health, with life going on quite swimmingly, and yet I still feel sorta bland.

I think part of it comes from not doing anything remotely social this weekend. Usually I do something with someone...even if it's just R. But we didn't do anything really. Friday night I cooked and Saturday night he cooked. We went for a long walk on Saturday. R. spent time with his cousin on Sunday while I went to the gym. But that's it. A very boring weekend. Now, I know it might seem great sometimes to have that kind of rest, as I did finish a book and got a bunch of sleep (with the exception of last night), but I kinda needed more. And I think R. felt the same way. So we've decided that at least 2 x a month, we need to go out and see a movie during the weekend (most likely on a Sunday).

So...hopefully I'll be getting out of the blahs. With R. starting cricket this week and me starting it the following one (yup, an American playing cricket), I don't think I'll be feeling 'blah' any longer. And hopefully I can amp up my social life outside of R. I definitely need to!

The big leap

Last night R. came home, plopped himself on the couch and said, "I've told her." Those three little words meant so much to me. I don't even think he knows how much.

He and his mom met for lunch yesterday, 19 days after he asked me to marry him. He had not yet told anyone in his family about the engagement. And to be honest, I was getting a bit upset about it. While I knew it was going to be an unpleasant thing, I wanted them to know. All sorts of things were said...and R. stated that his mom was the most coherent of her life...and that he felt like they had finally clicked for the first time since he was a child. Now this is not to say that she is approving of the marriage, as she's not, but she didn't get all hysterical about it. She did say that R. is now out of the will, that his father will most likely die of a heart attack from this and that she was very, very unhappy (had tears in her eyes the entire time). She argued several points:

1. I will get homesick and want to move back to the States, thus driving a wedge between us.
2. That I'm too old to have children or if we have them, they will come out with problems (mental or physical).
3. That while I will not keep the culture alive in the family.

Poor R. He tried so hard to argue his point. And I don't think it fell entirely on deaf ears. But his father is being sooo stubborn and his mom has to live with that. She's on the brink of wanting to leave his dad...yet another stressor for R to deal with. And she imagines that he'll become even more irrational about this situation once she tells him. But R. told him that he's made up his mind and that his parents have to make a decision...either come on board or don't...it's up to them. I truly hope that things work out in the future.

For me, it was a mixed thing. I'm sad for R. that he has to deal with a family that won't accept his happiness for what it is. That he has to deal with strict cultural expectations that won't bend. And for the fact that he wanted to bawl his eyes out last night but just couldn't. I wish I could take on his burden. But on the other hand, this has shown me just how strongly he feels for me and that he's worth marrying. He is so strong in so many ways. He's my love. And he'll be there for me, hopefully, forever.

Pooped!

I am tired. Very, very tired. And it's my own fault. I went out last night with a group of friends from UK-Yankee, along with A. & R.. We met up at Smollensky's, and would have been perfectly happy to just remain there...drinking our drinks and then having a bite to eat. But no. A special event was happening at 8pm, so we had to leave to move on to a new place. And stupid me...I suggest a nearby Mexican food restaurant, Cafe Pacifico, which typically means lots of drink and a long evening. Sigh.

Smollensky's was a good venue for people to meet, particularly as we had a pregnant woman with us and it has no smoking in a section. But there were few people there due to the closing at 8pm thing. When I arrived with A. & R., there were already about six people sitting in one of the booths. I recognized everyone except one, who had recently moved to the London area. We had a good time catching up, and I got to once again celebrate my engagement (which is starting to show in my belly...not good!). More old friends showed up as well as a few newbies. It's so funny to gather with people you know from the internet. You know quite a lot about their lives and yet you don't 'know them'. So meetings are great to actually put a name and face together - and really get a true name as opposed to their screen name. We laughed about how we talk about people on the board, how we pictured each other and how we can even get into 'fights' on the board. But it's a friendly place, overall, and we each agreed that it's somewhere we go during our day to get a laugh or a virtual hug.

The huge group left Smollenksy's at 8pm and walked up to Covent Garden. Have to say that my feet were hurting by then, darn high heeled boots! We couldn't get a table for 12 quickly, so we had a drink first. Then finally food and more drink. It was a great time - we enjoyed good company, a lot of laughs and just a nice evening out. But we didn't get home until 11:30pm on a school night...which meant a very late night for me!

So here I am, sitting at my desk, and hoping that no one comes into my office any time soon. But I know I'll have to be 'on' quite soon. Come on eyes...open!

The Swan

Today R. & I went out for a pub lunch in the 'country'...which basically means anywhere outside of Greater London (or outside the M25). We ended up at The Swan in Ley. It was lovely. We spent a bit of time in the restaurant part of the pub. We started with a soup & piece of baked brie. Yummy. Then on too our main course. R. had some seabass on crab & asparagus risotto and I had salmon with a potato & asparagus layer. Both were absolutely wonderful. I wish I had read more about the fact that they had real ales cause I would have had one of those, but instead we both had lagers. Which are fine, but when you go to a place with real ale, you just ought to buy that! The lunch (our big meal today) was so relaxing and fine. I hope that we'll do some of this more often...we can get too set in our ways sometimes and I want to keep venturing to new places on occasion.

Happy Easter!

I'm on my way to my old house to have bbq with R. and A. Since none of us are particularly religious, nor have family to celebrate with, we're doing it together. We invited others but they all have plans. So that's my celebration - that plus chocolate. Not a bad way to go!

Moving on

I have moved several times since college. I moved to NJ to follow a boyfriend and lived there for a few years. Then I moved back home to go to graduate school. The next move was to northern Virginia (2 moves in there) and four years later to Boston. I've lived in two places so far in London and now, am moving again to be with R. While I'm so happy to be moving in with him (no more not having an article of clothing/makeup/jewelry), it's so annoying to have to do it again. I've moved a few things over here so far...bedside desks, some clothing, my makeup...but have quite a bit more to do. So today I'm going to go to my house and pack up a boatload of stuff...clothing, files, the taxes I need to do (ick) and household items. I won't bring it all...have a desk, skis/boots and things like that which can wait until the summer...but I'll bring a lot. And then I'll have to figure out where to put it all! While R. does have some decent storage (for London), it may not be quite big enough...and we're not planning on buying a wardrobe & dresser drawers until August. I guess some of it will just go in the same spot as every other 'extra thing'...on the floor of the second bedroom. Sigh. Moving on is both wonderful and tough to do.

Life on vacation

I love being on vacation! I get to do what I want, when I want...though I guess with this whole walking a marathon thing I can't just stop exercising (yes, I'm a lazy sloth). So I did yesterday. I walked from Cricklewood to Old Street in London City. It's quite a long walk, though it was much more interesting than some other walks I've done so far...there were more people and shops to look at. So I may have to do more 'downtown' London walks to get my hours in...I can sightsee and train at the same time. The reason I took my bod down to London central was to meet R. for lunch. He knew a great Indian restaurant and wanted to introduce me to it. Yup, very authentic...and I was one of very few white people who came in...mostly Indian folk...which is always a good sign. But I got stuffed so there was no way I was walking any longer...so I took the bus and then a tube and then the train back to Cricklewood (probably would have taken less time to walk!).

Today I did the exciting things like vacuum or clean the kitchen or even better, laundry after changing the sheets. Ohhh...so much fun. But it's good as I like my place to be reasonably clean...it doesn't have to be neat, but clean is a necessity!

I then went and did a bit of shopping, including buying myself a temporary ring. Yes, I know, I had a temp ring...but it was too big and bulky.
So I went to a (shock) pawn shop and found a cute little black stone ring (in gold) and bought it for next to nothing...it's easy to wear and I like it (plus when you wear so much black you might as well have the stone!). It'll be perfect for the short term. Can't you see in the comparison pic above that my new ring is so much daintier? I can actually move my finger now!


Oh, and I also bought R. a chocolate egg. It's a weird tradition that they have here...you buy this box which has a whopping large hollow chocolate egg in it along with a bunch of candy bars by the same company. And that's what you get for Easter. Interesting, eh? They don't have the small chocolate eggs, very few bunnies, nor do they sell very many white eggs so you can't really dye them all sorts of colours (they are brown...but much nicer so it's not a bad thing). I will miss my chocolate peanut butter eggs...the Brits just don't like that combo. Sigh.




I then went to lunch with my friend, M., who I work with. She just recently bought a flat not to far away. We hadn't seen each other since my engagement so it was time. We chatted, I showed off my new ring (we think it may be onyx but it could also be black spinnel, either way it's supposed to be a 'protective' stone). And I've agreed to help her paint a room in her flat tomorrow. That's what friends are for, are they not? I think it'll be good.

Da da dada...Da da dada.

Last week was a blur. Between trying to walk as far & as much as I could, getting R.'s flat ready for me to move into, seeing friends and finally shopping for a dress, I was quite busy. The dress shopping part was the most crazy provoking part of the week. Usually I have no problem shopping but when you aren't exactly sure what to buy then it can be a daunting process. The reason it was so hard was that the dress was for a wedding...my first London wedding. I couldn't imagine what one would wear to such an event. Particularly an afternoon wedding. People had told me dresses. Oy. What style would work? What would actually fit me and look good? So I spent hours looking, trying on, getting frustrated and finally finding one in the last store I was planning on going to. The dress is lovely, a pale aqua blue with grey print flowers, all flowing & somewhat 20s style. It was different from anything that I saw in the stores and I hoped that it would work...it just seemed pretty enough for a wedding but not too dressy.

The wedding was betweeen friends of R. & me. The young woman, E., is a ladies cricketer and the young man, L., is a guy cricketer...thus how we know each other. E. & L. had been dating for 7 years before this day and so (at least E.) were ready for marriage. A very cute couple and well matched, everyone involved was excited for them. The lady cricketers who were invited met at a pub in W. Hampstead before the event. R. was not the only boy there as another coach and two bfs were there. We had a small drink and then took a few taxis over to the church in Highgate. The church was of Catholic persuasion and quite ornate within. Like most churches, it had quite hard wooden seating which we 'enjoyed' for quite a while. The priest was good, not talking too much and able to make some jokes with the couple. But the service was long as they included a full mass. Poor R. hadn't ever experienced such a thing and was flabergasted by the communion part (had to explain that no, the wafer was not a mint). But the music choices were fine and E. looked so pretty in her dress.

On, then, next door to the party. Drink was plentiful, starting with champagne cocktails and followed by anything from wine to sparkling water to vodka & coke. My gang, of course, had decided that drinking was on. And it flowed and flowed. Food was finger style and available throughout the evening. Guests were quite happy and friendly, even Jenny Frost, ex-Atomic Kitten, was smiling at all. R & I left early in the evening as we were tired and figured that 5 hours of partying was enough...we weren't really drinking (per agreement) and wanted a good night's sleep.

The wedding was quite wonderful, I felt my dress was a hit (got a bunch of compliments) and we had a blast. Not bad for my first London wedding.

The walk

I walked for two hours today. It's all part of my training for the London Playtex Moonwalk of 26 miles in May. I started off in Cricklewood and walked through the neighborhood toward the top end of West Hampstead. I walked down Finchley Road which is quite busy. I looked into shop windows and passed by all sorts of people. I was proud that I was able to bypass the tube stops and the bus stops and keep on going...on past Swiss Cottage pub and down Avenue lane. The houses there are amazingly HUGE. I don't think I'd even enjoy living somewhere like that...too much space, too many rooms. But it did give me something to look at. I continued on through to Regents Park and made my way inside, walking on the pathways. The sights there are wonderful...a camel in the zoo, green everywhere, young love hand-in-hand, a guy running in shorts (brrrr)...so many lives.

April Fool?

So...he asked me. Yes, I am engaged. And he purposely asked me on April 1...yes, April Fools Day. And I must say that it's appropriate that my jokester asked me then. Was I surprised? You bet. I knew it was coming soon now that he felt more settled with finding his new job. But never last night. And I'm so happy.

Sometimes you win...sometimes you lose

Even though I have been training for it for two months, I was unable to take my driving test yesterday. I do not want to say why, but all I can say is that I'm not happy about it. Ugh! On the positive side, I felt really confident during my practice beforehand and feel that I have a good chance of passing when I do take it. Let's hope for a cancellation during my next two weeks off! As I had the day off anyway, I ended up cleaning R's flat and beginning the organization for moving myself in - bought a bunch of storage and organizational boxes which I put to good use. And will begin to move everything over there in the next two weeks...finishing some time in June! (when I move furniture over) So while I didn't take my driving test, I can say that my future place of permanent abode is looking all lovely!

One thing worth celebrating yesterday is that R. accepted a new job and resigned from his old one. He has given his one month notice! Yippee. The stress is now relieved about that. And you could tell last night as he came home. And he brought me the loveliest of flowers...a mix of roses and wild flowers. Absolutely gorgeous! I didn't take pics but I will!

On that edge

Recently watched the film, Girl Interupted. It definitely made me think. What is mental illness? Is it always a chemical thing or can it sometimes be a choice, to hide from what scares you in the world? Can mental health be a coping mechanism that just goes wrong? All of us seem to have something that we do that is not mentally healthy all the time...some of us drink when we're unhappy, some of us smoke to deal with stress, some have to have things in just the right place in order to deal with, well, disorder. Perhaps mental illness is just pushing those to the extreme. Perhaps we all fall on some sort of continuum and there's just a line that we place as a society that makes some of us 'normal' and others of us 'unhealthy'. Who decides this line? And what do you do that falls closer to the unhealthy part of the continuum? If something went wrong in your life, how would you react? I think having healthy coping mechanisms is something we should all be taught at a very young age - stress reduction, exercise, talking to someone about what's going on...so much better than turning to food, or turning away from it...so much better than hurting yourself to express your pain...so much better than taking in substances which actually stress your body even if you feel like it cuts down on the pain. I think I needed that reminder that I can handle stress in healthy ways. And that the edge between 'normal' and 'unhealthy' is not where I want to head.

Let's Get This Party Startin'

Saturday night was the end of season dinner for my hockey club. Imagine...12 teams, 6 mens' and 6 ladies' teams...each with at least 10 people...most of them 20-something Brits who like to drink...and most of whom are quite loud...all gathered in one big room set up like we're here for a cheesy wedding reception. It was quite the sight. And of course, I forgot to take pictures (hoping that someone has a few I can put on here later!). But it was a great evening! Last year I definitely got a bit too drunk as I could barely figure out that I had won the most valuable player award...even after they handed me a pink tiara - yes, it was a good look! And I didn't really know the people on my team or feel entirely comfortable being in that social situation. But this year, I was just 'happy' and I really like my team as well as feel comfy with them.

Before the actual dinner, we all met at one of the girls' house for some munchies and champagne. It's lovely how cheap good champoo is over here! We were given our new bandanas - tiger like black & white as opposed to the old ones which had a cow-like pattern (moo). And then we headed via taxi (heels far too tottering to walk too far) to the hotel where we ate a (not so good) 3 course dinner. The best part of the evening was handing out the presents to our coach and captain, followed by a huge group of drunken dancing. I had a blast! Now, as you must know by now, I'm not really a party girl. My nights are spent more on the couch than on the club floor...but get me out there & I can get my groove on (yes, I do plan on embarrassing any future children with my so not hip sayings!). This lasted until 1:30am after which we headed to the imfamous Lower Ground Bar in W. Hampstead. It is quite rank but it is the place where we hold membership, can get in for free and continue the party. I lasted about 15 minutes and then went to find a taxi. This did not work. And my phone not working did not help. So I fished out my last quid to call my bf. He was not happy with me, but dutifully came and picked me up at that 'god-awful' hour. Can you see why I love this man?!!!

Yup, it was a fun night. And I wasn't even hung over (just tired) the next morning...yup, drinking a water inbetween alcoholic drinks is a smart thing sometimes!

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On an aside...the seabass which I cooked last night was great! I got the recipe here: seabass in a mustard champagne sauce.

So very yummy

I introduced R. to Borough Market this weekend. For the first time since late August I had a Saturday free!! We slept in a bit (8:30am), made a yummy french toast breakfast (haven't had those in years) and then got onto the train. The Jubilee line was down so we had to go on the Northern line, but it ended up being faster anyway. Borough Market is so impressive...you are surrounded by food, smells and sounds. Horns tooting, people yelling out, vendors explaining their wares. Cheese, earthy veg, lines for the choritzo sandwhich a mile long with the smoky smell of meat drawing in the crowds. We bounced from stand to stand, tasting a bit of this and gazing longingly at that. If we had the money we would have left, completely loaded down. As it was we found seabass (whole) for £3 each, an amazingly smooth & tasty bit of cheese and a wonderful San Fran sourdough bread..the likes of which I haven't tasted in years. If you get a chance to visit London and you want to astound your senses...this is the way to go. Lush. Lovely. And so very yumm!

p.s. I can't believe I've posted over 50 blog posts. For me, that's impressive...I tend to start diaries and never keep it up...cool!

Trouble with the law...

Ah...the joys of dealing with your local council. So much fun. My flatmate (A.) & I moved into a flat in Kilburn near the end of June of last year. We paid one month of council tax and then our lovely landlord, G., asked if we'd mind if he took over for it. Heck no. And yes, as soon as he asked for it, I'd pay the tax to him (which he hasn't). So, a few months later, we get a notice of non-payment from the council...and that we have to go to court about it. A. & I get in touch with G. and he has his personal assistant get in touch with the council who assure them that they've worked it out...no problem. So we don't go to court and we go on our merry way. So last week, A. comes into work with a notice from the Equita Certified Bailiffs saying that they will be coming to take our possessions on Monday. Major freakout...we again get in touch with G. who has his assistant get in touch with the council. They send us an email saying that
"Apparently there has been a mistake and the wrong account was closed, leaving
>> your account open and G's closed.
>> I need to put this in writing for the Brent council, which I am doing at
>> present.
>> The Brent council then need to clear it with the Baliff dept, which I will
>> follow up."

So we assumed it was taken care of...but we hadn't heard anything as of today. So we called the council. And were informed that WE still are in charge of the payment and that the Baliff won't be called off until the amount of £1028 is paid immediately. Like, as in TODAY. Unbelievable. We have given them G's work number.

ed. Just talked to the council...they can't get through to G. I've left a message on his mobile (he's in the air heading to London right now). We need to get this taken care of by noon so that they can call the Baliff and stop them. I have a feeling that A. will put it on her card as mine won't hold that amount. This sucks. There are just way too much bad things happening at once in my life...R's heat breaking, R's shower breaking, this...way too many expenses right around the same time that I'm supposed to be saving for the frickin thing to the States. I'm praying that I'll get paid a bunch extra in my next paycheck...cause otherwise I'm screwed.

Meet me...

I just read about a group that's begun in Boston. www.thelunchclub.com. The goal of the lunch club is to make new friends. And what a great idea. I don't know if you know it until you actually get there, but it's tougher to make friends in your 30s than it was when you were younger. So many of us move away from our hometowns, lose touch with old friends or may, like me, move very far away to a place where no one you know lives. And how do you make friends? How do you even meet people? Heck, it's tough enough to date, but "friending" is even harder! So a club to meet people sounds great...go out to lunch, go for a drink, and there are a bunch of people all wanted to meet someone else for friendship reasons. I've joined field hockey & cricket clubs so I do meet people...but there are so many 20, 30-somethings who don't have that connection and London can be tough for them. It's hard to be surrounded by people and have no one to talk to. Perhaps this is an idea for someone to try here...in such a multicultural city it might be kinda fun!

Chip, chip, ooze.

You never realize just how important small conveniences are until they are gone. Take for example, a shower. Showers are great because you get wet, you aren't sitting in dirt, the pressure for some are fantastic for your muscles, etc. I love showering. But R's shower broke last week. For a while, we were just turning the water off when we didn't need it so that cold water wasn't pouring out of it non-stop. It was definitely an electrical problem with his electric shower (so different from the States!). So this weekend, on Saturday, R. decided we needed to fix it ourselves. So we went shopping and found a new electric shower. Should have been an easy task...but no...the person who owned the flat previous to R. had put the shower within the tiles. So now, in removing the shower, tiles were missing. And the new shower didn't fit/work within that space. So back to the store on Sunday for tiles, adhesive, grout, etc. Then came the chipping away at tiles to make it all work. Chip, chip, oozing goop, "£$*(@"$&£...yeah, it has been a great weekend. We managed to get all three of the new tiles adhered last night (it takes a few hours) adn this morning R decided to grout them...with grout oozing everywhere as the spout on that broke...yes, an early morning disaster. Sigh. So I'm sitting at work, with grout/adhesive still stuck under my finger nails (hate that feeling), knowing that tonight, R will try to figure out the electronics of this new shower & probably electrocute himself or start a fire. I think I'm going to stay away for a few hours...or perhaps start to drink early! Just kiddin'. Sorta.

Happy St. Patrick's Day...sorta

Well...it's St Patrick's Day...and I'm in the UK, so you'd think I'd really get into celebrating it. The thing is - I don't own green clothing. It's just not 'my colour'. So perhaps I ought to buy something, but I just don't care enough. I know if I walk down my neighbhood high street, I'll be able to find green shamrocks up the wazzoo...and perhaps I ought to buy something from the dollar store just for shits & giggles. But the thing is - tonight I'm not going out, I'm hanging at R's, who is cooking up a lovely lamb curry (yup, so very Irish) for friends who are leaving us after this weekend (moving to Australia). So not in an Irish state of mind. Plus I have a hockey game tomorrow in the early a.m...have to meet at the clubhouse at 9am (darn it!). So...can't really drink (which is, as you know, the purpose of the holiday), am not wearing green (the official colour) and not even going to eat anything Irish of any sort. Man this is making me grumpy. Oh, well...Happy St Patrick's Day anyway. Sigh.

Out of order

If you walked into my office, you would never think that there is even a touch of a tendency in me of being anal. I have piles of papers everywhere. I am definitely not a neat freak. The same would apply if you checked out my flat on a normal day...while most things are in their place, you will find a layer of dust somewhere as well as a shoe here and there. But then you might look into my closet and gasp. Here is where L. hides her little secret. Yes, she does have some anal qualities...and they are hidden in the closet (not THAT closet but the one outside my bedroom). Yes, I must have my closet in a particular order to feel one with the world. My jackets/coats are hung on the far left side, from heavier to lighter, darker to lighter...then next come the skirts, again ordered by colour as well as length...followed by trousers...then dresses and finally any sort of costumy thing I might own that I hang up. All in colour and heaviness order. As I’m now living between two flats, rushing home only to put things away and to drop stuff off, you can imagine that my closet is in a bit of disarray...and my space at R’s flat is not quite big enough for too much order (though it is being imposed). I feel that my closet tends to reflect how things are going for me...and since my life is not very ordered right now (or at least it doesn’t feel that way) then neither is my closet. And I’m sad about that, cause a nice looking closet makes me happy (as well as makes my life easier in the morning). So...I think part of spring break (in 3 weeks folks!) will be spent getting my life back into order. And funnily enough, R. said that he wanted to get things back to normal at his flat again...that it was getting to be too much of a mess...ah, shared order. Life is good!

My wasted-calorie weekend

I'm still feeling my weekend. It's something that creeps up on you as you head into your 30s...and then hits you with a BANG once you get to your mid-30s. Yes, it's the hangover. From college until probably my late 20s, I drank quite a bit. Not too much binge drinking (post-college), but definitely consistently and more than I did when I got into my 30s. And I drink even less now that I'm with R. And I'm happy about it as alcohol is pretty much a wasted calorie in so many ways. But this weekend was definitely a wasted calorie weekend.

Friday night I met up with some friends from the UK-Yankee website. Sounds crazy to meet up with people you meet on the net, but as an expat, it's one of the best ways of finding people who are 'like you'. We went to Ye Olde Chesire Cheese and drinking ensued. Now cause I had hockey the next day, I did stick to only having two single vodka drinks. Quite proud of myself there. And I had a ball...talked to a few of the women & guys I had met in earlier gatherings (very nice!) and met a few people, including one guy that I tend to contradict on the board (he was funny about it). So..overall a great success...there had to be at least 20 of us total throughout the evening. I went home and realized I was STARVIN'! So, as there wasn't any food at all in the fridge other than cheese...I ate a ton of that and then binged on Lime flavoured Dorritos. Yup, really healthy...oy!

Saturday morning I enjoyed a full English breakfast with my friend, G. Great restaurant called Jays in W. Hamptead. I'll definitely head back there. I was quite pleased that I just ate as much as I was hungry for & actually left some food on my plate...then again I still ate enough to last for hours! A few hours later I played my game (another win) and then went to the club for teas. I ended up eating a plate of fries and some baked beans. I am pathetic when it comes to those two items. And of course, I was going out to dinner so I really, really didn't need to eat that kind of junk.

Went home and got all gussied up. The hen night theme was sexy & black, so I was wearing a new L.B.D. and some cute new heels (with a peekaboo toe..so hip & in...yeah, right). I met up with a few cricket friends who were also invited to the hen night. We had a drink at the bar and then off to Covent Garden for food. More and more wine was consumed as well as some very lovely food at Browns. More wine and then off to the Soho Lounge. Such a blast...had our own private space with a bouncer - loads of guys REALLY wanted to join our party & can you blame 'em...tons of women in slinky black dresses...and then more wine. Around 1am (way past my bedtime) a bunch of us decided to catch the 189 night bus and off we went. I almost fell asleep before my stop but somehow made it to the flat where my stumbling woke up poor R. I know I got undressed, felt ill but didn't throw up and passed out asleep. I didn't drink a huge amount (despite the more and more wine) compared to my past drinking...but when you barely drink on a weekly basis, even a few wines over a few hours can hit you hard.

So...after a few nights of less sleep, a few hours of drinking, I had a hungover Sunday. I went from bed to couch and barely anything else. Luckily for me, R. was quite sympathetic and took care to feed me and get me water. He even went out to get me a falafel burget at G.B.K.!

But on to today....yes, I'm still feeling it a bit. But that's what you get from a wasted calorie weekend!

Hey, world...it's me!

I love being in an environment where not only is intellectual conversation encouraged, but it also actually happens on occasion. I spend most of my lunch breaks not doing work like the majority of people in the working world, but sitting at lunch with some of my colleagues, talking about 'stuff'. I have learned about the varieties of smoked fish in Europe, how to find a decent cab in India, what sights to see that aren't in the guidebooks and which countries I definitely do not want to visit until I've seen every other one (which probably means I'll never see these). It's great to work with such an international group of people who are willing to share their experiences with someone who, compared to them, is quite wet behind the ears. I have done some travelling, but nothing compared to some of them. And as I'm planning on staying here for life, I guess I'm not entirely in a hurry. There are other important things...such as paying for driving lessons and heading back to visit my fam & friends this summer. But it will happen.

The extra cool thing about the conversations is that I begin to think about where I want to go. And it's changed quite a bit since moving over here...I want to go to countries I had never really heard about, like Mauritius or Seychelles or Goa. I want to see Warsaw, explore the rest of the UK and go work with the lemurs in Madagascar. It's nice to have my dreams expanded. I definitely grew up in a safe protected world...but I want to keep opening up my eyes.

My first trip that did that was to India. It was my first overseas trip, other than to Mexico for spring break. I went to visit my dad at his workplace in Mussoorie...the Woodstock School. It was a great experience...I flew into Delhi, which is teaming with people, animals and smells. It was quite overwhelming. I then went on to Mussoorie. Dad was still working so I went out to explore the town, which was located a bit further down the mountain (1st tier of Himalayans). I was the only white person around. I was stared at, giggled at (several teenage Indian girls) and followed. It showed me a bit more what it is like to be a minority. Talk about eye opening. Within my trip I experienced such utter depravity as well as amazing beauty. The greys of India was before me...frightening and exciting. No trip since has been quite like it.

So hopefully I'll be able to see more, to challenge my own viewpoints more and to have fun with travelling. I mean really...that's one of the huge advantages of NOT being in the States any longer...the world is so much closer.

I love being in an environment where not only is intellectual conversation encouraged, but it also actually happens on occasion. I spend most of my lunch breaks not doing work like the majority of people in the working world, but sitting at lunch with some of my colleagues, talking about 'stuff'. I have learned about the varieties of smoked fish in Europe, how to find a decent cab in India, what sights to see that aren't in the guidebooks and which countries I definitely do not want to visit until I've seen every other one (which probably means I'll never see these). It's great to work with such an international group of people who are willing to share their experiences with someone who, compared to them, is quite wet behind the ears. I have done some travelling, but nothing compared to some of them. And as I'm planning on staying here for life, I guess I'm not entirely in a hurry. There are other important things...such as paying for driving lessons and heading back to visit my fam & friends this summer. But it will happen.

The extra cool thing about the conversations is that I begin to think about where I want to go. And it's changed quite a bit since moving over here...I want to go to countries I had never really heard about, like Mauritius or Seychelles or Goa. I want to see Warsaw, explore the rest of the UK and go work with the monkeys in Madagascar.

Walk the Walk

I received the notice that a place has been allocated for me in the Playtex London MoonWalk 2006! I'm very excited about this. I have done a walk to support breast cancer research & work back in Boston so I'm happy to do one in London two years later. In the Boston one I walked for two days (sleeping in a tent the night between)...it was a marathon and 1/2. This walk is a marathon (26.2 miles) that begins in London at midnight. And I, along with my team, will be walking along in our decorated bras and tiaras. Yes, I will post pics! It's going to be great for several reasons:

1. I have a goal to work toward (workout).
2. I tend to lose weight when I do a lot of walking (woohoo...maybe lose that stone I gained after meeting R.)
3. I'll be part of a team of some women from work and some new women I don't know...very happy to get to know people better through this.
4. I'm raising money for a worthy cause.
5. I have worked with families regarding this issue and walk in memory of the young women and young men who have lost a parent, grandparent, friend or family member to breast cancer.

I've already begun to put together a fundraising website: https://www.bmycharity.com/V2/ukyankee

I have high hopes for this walk. And the personal outcomes of fitness and friendship. Yup, it's a really great thing!

PA and prats

I had quite a shock when I arrived at the platform of the St Johns Wood tube station today...there was an ad for tourism to PA. Yes, Pennyslvania. Now, don't get me wrong. I love my home state. I lived quite a lot of happy years in PA and have spent time all over the state due to friends and family. It's a great state in many ways...green space, a fun city, more and more growth, decent skiing. But still. It's PA. And I'm living in London. What person, who either lives, works or plays here would want to go to PA for a visit? I could understand tourism for the US to be in the St Johns Wood tube station - it's quite an American enclave. Maybe even one for DC or NYC. But not where I grew up. Nope. It's just not that cool (sorta like me!).

My afternoon shockers continued when I went to my hockey club to pick up my goalie kit. I walked into the car park and there was guy letting the air out of the tires of a Mercedes. He took one look at me and took off. Yeah...good thing mate. You showed him. You're better than him cause of that. Yeah. What a prat.

Then the finale. I was just about to get on the bus and some little shit decided to throw his water bottle on the ground. Was there a garbage bin right next to where we got on? Yes. I yelled at him but he took no notice and preceeded to make fun of me unti he got off. I swear that teens these days have no regard for anyone. I mean really, how hard would it have been to walk one extra step to throw out a bottle? Yes, child, you are one reason why my new country is going to be covered by arctic ice in the not so distant future...you are one of many who don't really care about anything other than yourself...and someday we'll be covered by sheets of ice in the next ice age...cause you don't care enough to take care of any part of the environment. It's just not your 'thing'...

I am not hip. Even though I may have thought I was in my 20s, I don't think I was ever really close to being cool or 'with it'. And now in my late 30s I'm most definitely not someone who is up with the trends of the day. I'm lucky, if on a Saturday night, I can get myself to do my hair and put on a touch of makeup, no less try to do the latest thing. I didn't wear the tight, 'must be a size 8', jeans that have been in...I just don't have the body nor the desire to do so. I may wear a few things that are 'in' at the moment but that's about it. More often than not you'll see me in my classic wear. And I'm okay with that.

But last night, I went out and was at a pub that was most definitely 'hip'. The pub, whose name I can't remember anymore, was located in Camden/Chalk Farm, an area I've never really seen at night. The youngsters there were definitely trying really hard to look like they were in, or unique, or at least like they belonged. I was there for a "leaving do" along with a bunch of other people who weren't really 'hip'...though a few of them are young enough to care. It was great for people watching...the woman who had her fur jacket on (what was she thinking?), the guy with the 50s hairdo ala James Dean, or the girl with all her piercings and streak of red in her crew cut. I definitely did not fit. But it was fun to be part of this world of youth and experimenting with looks again...

Mummy's boy

R. left to go skiing today. He's going with a bunch of guys who he's known since his early years at primary school and from work. I think it's great that he's taking off and doing a guy's weekend.

Now since early December, I've pretty much lived at R's flat. I do go to my home once in a while to gather clothing and I have slept there a few times since the new year...but not more than once in a week. This is changing this week. While I'd love to stay at R's place as it's quite warm and cosy, it turns out his mom wants to look after the place and sleep here (an excuse to get some privacy I suppose). Which means I have to go back to mine for the week. Now obviously I do like my house and flatmate. The house is huge with two floors, 3 bedrooms and a lovely back garden. And my flatmate is my closest friend from work. She's also originally from the same general area that I am from in Pennsylvania. So we click. But still, I hate the fact that I didn't have a choice. That mummy came first. That he couldn't say 'no'. And it fed into my anger at him not asking me to marry him yet.

His current reasoning as to why he hasn't asked me is that he hasn't had a chance to really talk to his dad...as his cousin is staying there and dad won't listen to him. Personally I think it's bunk. I'm the type of woman who would go to her parents and say, "Listen, y'all. This is what I'm doing. I'm getting engaged to this lovely guy. I'll be asking him tomorrow. Just wanted you to know." But he won't do that. I do know that I'm going to be the alpha woman to his beta man in this relationship. And there are going to be some issues over time due to this. But he does have about one more month to work on getting to the point where he can ask.

Counseling seems to have gone to the wayside - primarily due to the fact that we haven't gotten called back by the counseling centre...very unprofessional! And thus I'm not calling them to ask why...I wouldn't want to work with someone who handles things like this. I am exploring other options, but it will be more for someone to talk to R. later cause I think he'll need it. But man, this is a pain! What is it about me and mummy's boys?

Human nature

Okay, I admit it. I'm a bit different than many people. I actually like riding on the tube. Now I know that I don't have to ride into central London (zone 1) so I don't always get the packed sardine syndrome and I get to miss the joys of riding on the tube during some of the hottest of months. But I enjoy the tube overall. Why? Cause it's amazing for people watching. The nature of my job is that I watch, listen and try to either figure people out or help them figure themselves out, so human nature is definitely a top subject for me. And good lord, the tube is an amazing place to see a variety of human nature. For example:

• The other day I was sitting across from a little girl who shyly showed me the coins in her pocket. Her mom seemed so happy not to have to pay attention for just a few minutes.
• The guy who thought no one in this crowded tube would notice that he was picking his nose.
• The woman with her shaved head and multiple piercings boldly checking others out...while the rest of us were trying to do the same thing but not quite so boldly.
• The woman who just couldn't wait that one extra second to let me off the tube before she began to shove her way on...I checked it out...she didn't get a seat. Why the rush?
• The two lovebirds who never notice that anyone else exists in the world...so lost in each other's eyes.

Tube riding is such a wonderful experience for me, but perhaps in a few more years (or if I have to take a child on board) I won't have so much fun. But in the meanwhile I look forward to seeing what funky kind of person I'll 'meet' as I ride the tube today after work.

It's an Institute You Can't Disparage (Thanks Frank)

My parents had a seemingly wonderful marriage. I remember from quite a young age watching them as we went for walks...and they held hands. I don't think I ever said to myself, "That's what I want", but somehow the vision always stuck with me. I was definitely daddy's little girl. I was an athlete, smart & enjoyed talking to him about 'stuff'. And I know he enjoyed his little girl. My brother, on the other hand, was definitely a mamma's boy. When he was little he wouldn't let her go. Must of driven her to madness at times having a little bratling attached to her leg. And he didn't change all the much over time...even to the point of calling mom to ask her if he could move back home one week after college. Luckily she said 'no!'. I don't know where it all went wrong for my parents. They weren't the arguing type nor did they share much about what was going on in their marriage. And in a way this was good for my bro and moi...but in other ways it would have been nice to have some clue when the shit hit the fan.

I was in graduate school, living at home to save some dough, when I went to pick up my dad from the airport. We walked into the house without a clue that in the next few minutes our worlds would be changing. Dad stayed downstairs and I went to my bedroom. There was a letter from mom telling me that she was leaving my father. What the F"£$((&£$? I began to bawl and ran downstairs to my father who had not yet found his 'Dear Joe' letter. She had taken all of her belongings including some furniture and moved out while we were both gone. This was well planned - she hired movers, had a place to move into, etc. My father was devistated. He had no clue that things were this bad. I can honestly say that this was the most horrible thing I've ever had to go through, topping knee surgery & a flood. In the end, after a few years of back and forth, my parents did eventually divorce. And luckily, it all comes (so far) to happy endings as my dad has a new wife and my mom has moved across the country with her partner of a few years.

As I now get closer and closer to getting engaged or breaking it off with R (he had this month and that's it), I wonder at how my parents' relationship had an effect on me. I have learned how to argue but do recognize that both R & me tend to get quiet when we're upset about things. I know that marriages can work...but learned from my parents that communication about issues is key - even if you have to bash someone over the head, rant & rave (which my mom ought to have done but was too chicken to do). I've learned things and hopefully will be able to go into marriage a bit more knowledgeable then my parents did at age 23. But it's still scary. To give up the freedoms you have, to have to put up with someone else's shit, etc. But then I hear R. say in the morning, in his sleepy grumbly voice, "Love you honeybunny" as I walk out of the bedroom...and I know that it's worth the risk. Without risk you can't find the potential of amazing happiness. It may bring pain, but heck, that's life!