Homecoming

We had agreed that he would pick me up from school, as I had a suitcase and backpack and would most likely be quite tired. So I called him about 10 minutes from school. He told me that a friend was over, they were on the Playstation and had been drinking...but he'd come get me any way. No. Don't be an idiot. I'll take a cab if I can find my wallet with my pounds in it or take the tube & train or bus. I was not happy with him.

I didn't feel like searching through my suitcase for my wallet (which I didn't think I'd need), so off I went on the tube. Luckily at that time of night, heading away from London, it wasn't crowded. I arrived in West Hampstead to see that the train would be another 15 minutes or so...thus went to catch the bus. And it actually arrived in less than 5 minutes (rarely happens with the C-11!). And the space where I usually put bags was open. It was a good thing.

I arrived at home and pressed the button as I also didn't want to have to search for my keys. R. answered, let me in and then gave me a boozy hug. Yup, he was a touch wiffy. His friend, T and he had decided to make Playstation football into a drinking game and they were well on their way to utter drunkenness. I had been away for several days and this was my homecoming. Harrumph!

Luckily, R. had bought some roses (which were placed in our Brita as our one vase was missing) and had made me dinner (pasta...still it was hot and yummy). I ate, chatted a bit about my experiences with the kids and then went to bed as they continued their game. I was sleepy and didn't want to stay up any longer.

R. finally came to bed and woke me up. I pushed his drunken butt off me, grumbled at him and fell back asleep. He ought to have known better...a grumpy ukyankee is not a good sight! But we slept until 11am. I felt great. R. was hungover. Heh heh. And we had a lovely relaxing day. But he still ought to have been in shape to pick me up the night before. I don't typically hold grudges...but he might have to pay for this one! ;-)

Field Hockey & Food

Well, I'm back from my trip to Belgium with our high school field hockey team. We played in five games, winning two and losing three, and getting seventh place out of eight. We ought to have done a lot better, but I know they had a great time anyway. We play against teams who have kids in clubs and who have been playing since 4 (believe me, I saw the 4 yr olds out there practicing...they are amazing!!!). We now know what we need to do in order to get better...and some of that comes from training our younger kids better.

The best thing about the trip is the social aspect which is helped by the kids staying with families from the school (hosting as it's called). We hang out with the coaches on two evenings and our parents on the last (yes, we had 13 parents this year come to see the kids play!). We started off having a meeting and dinner at the British School of Brussels. I have to say that their chef made some wonderful food! So much better and healthy than what we get in our caf. Then we were off to the bar at our hotel (just outside Antwerp) where we hung out for a bit. It was nice as there were many returning coaches. We tend to all get on quite well.

The second night a bunch of the coaches went to Dock's Cafe in Antwerp. It was so much fun and great food! I started out with 9 fresh oysters on the half-shell. Sooooo yummy! And then I finished with a lovely medium rare steak. We were given the opportunity to have as much house wine as we wanted for 10 euros...we definitely had more than 10 euros worth each! Felt we got our money's worth (61 euros each).

The third night we were taken out to dinner in Brussels. It involved walking to a tram, a tram ride and then the train (50 min) to Brussels. Normally I wouldn't go that far for a meal, but usually the parents take us somewhere really cool and special. And they didn't fail! We went to L'idiot du Village (or the Village Idiot), which is a small little funky restaurant. I started with hot foie gras in a vanilla sauce (OH...MY...GOD). Lovely. And then had scallops over lentils. Just wonderful. And of course, wine. We came home tired as all else, but full of good food.

So now on to a busy week. It's been made less busy by having my Tuesday night thing cancelled (a shame but have to admit I kinda need that night free). But then next week after that we have Thur and Friday off for Thanksgiving...though I'll be the cooking queen for T-day! I plan on getting some sleep though....

STRESSSSSSS!!!!

I'm not going to be on here for a while. Life is getting busier and busier. And on top of that, I'm going away. So I won't be blogging again until (at the earliest) Sunday. Why you say? Well...

Today I didn't stop at work from 8:00am until just now. And I'm in my office waiting for a kid to show up who probably won't. I'll have to meet with her tomorrow. After lunch I'll have to put my class notes on my website. That will take up a lot of the day. (yeah, yeah...whine, whine, whine).

Tomorrow is booked - getting things ready for my Wed/Thur classes - need to have a plan for the substitute. Teaching again, writing comments for kids who have all their work in.

Wednesday - leave for Brussels with the field hockey team. We're heading there for a tourney. Won't be back until late Saturday night.

Monday of next week I have class, then I have to be around for the showing of the movie Flight 93...in case anyone loses it. Tuesday night I have a junior class event that will take up the entire evening. And on Wednesday, I have to have grades & comments written for my 30-something students in my psych classes...they are due at 9am.

Am I crazy? Yes. Will I lose it by next week? Most likely. Poor R...pray for him as I think he hasn't REALLY seen me stressed before. It'll be a lovely learning experience, eh?

So now...in this final blog for a while, I want to remind myself that 'yes, I do love my job...it's very cool (I mean they're sending me to Brussels!)...but if I want to cry at night about how much I have to do in one week, then it's okay.' I am only human ya know!

We're in the midst of studying human development in my psych course. We've talked about prenatal development, what happens at birth and the moments of childhood that may have major effects on you...including some theories on cognitive development and personality. I decided one thing to really focus some discussion was on how we develop our gender identity.

When I was majoring in psychology in university, I was required as a senior to write a thesis. It had to be an extensive review of materials along with one's own experiement or study on the topic. I decided to look at toys, play and gender. Here's the exact topic: The Development of Gender Identity: Sex-Typing, Self-Concept and Advertising. I wrote approximately 100 pages total (including references and the like). Amazed myself to be honest...and it's located in a library at my university (which by the way is quite cool to look up online and see!).

What I studied were a lot of toy commercials, how toys are given 'gender' tags and how kids play when they are ages 3 - 7. First I asked teenagers to say whether a group of toys were masculine, feminine or gender neutral. No surprises here I have to say. Then I analayzed toy commercials. Lots of them. During a time when most college students did NOT have a VCR...so up early on Saturdays to watch cartoons. Not the happiest mornings. And guess what..."boy toy" (BT) and "girl toy" (GT) commercials are very different. BT commercials tend to display primary colours. The music is more staccoto and fast paced. The kids do not play together cooperatively but instead either play alone or competitively with lots of action. GT commercials have pastel colours typically. One hears soft twinkly music (comes across as 'happy'). And the girls typically are playing with someone else in a cooperative way or are showing off the toy to someone else (very little action involved).

Now....can you guess how the observations of kids went? Yup, girls tend to play more cooperatively or show things off to others...little action. Boys play more competitively and more actively.

So - what makes us this way? Is it what we see? Is it how we are taught to act? They've shown that if you put a girl in a blue blanket after she is born, then adults will play more 'roughly' with her thinking she's a boy. But if a boy is put in a pink blanket, then they'll tend to be cuddled and gently handled. Perhaps we are primed from such an early age. Cause ya know what? Girls are actually more hearty at birth...but you'd never know it.

So one question I asked kids was - How do we learn about what it means to be masculine or feminine as an infant, child and teenager? Who does it? How do they do it? Do our influences change over time? And it got them all thinking...how did I become who I am now?

Stop the train...I wanna get off!

I try to get into work on time, but the train is so crowded I can't fit, so I have to take the bus and then when I get off the bus to get on the tube I discover that it's not running for the third time this week and so I have to get on another bus to get to work (which is also packed) and I wander in 10 minutes late. Yup, life is crazy right now and probably won't stop for a while. And when I get to work I look at my diary and all I see is lots of blue...a meeting at 8:35 that finished at 9:15, a meeting for 9:35, teaching at 9:55 til 11:15, another meeting around noon and then a lunch meeting. Come on people...what's up with this?

Now along side all of this, I have to prepare to write comments and figure out grades within the next week, have to work with a few psychologists, continue to teach, come up with a plan for when I'm away next week (field hockey tournament) so that the sub doesn't get cooked, go to field hockey practices (coaching), play a game on Saturday, go shopping for new heaters for our flat (we don't have central heating and our heaters broke), plan and cook dinner for some friends...on and on and on. Oh, and there's that wedding planning thing that's taken over my life.

But I suppose that if none of this was going on, I'd complain about being bored. At least my job is full of different tasks and I have things going on in my life that I do enjoy. So the silver lining is...I'm not bored.

And things are going to change a bit in the near future. Field hockey season (for the kids) is ending in about one week. Next week we go to our final tourney in Brussels from Wednesday to Saturday (I'll not be online at all during that time). And so that means I'll now have several hours to myself. I plan on getting my hair done in relaxed style. Perhaps even getting a manicure. I can go to the gym more regularly. And plan for, shop for and cook a nice meal for R. and me.

Life is crazy busy. But it does keep me going!

Happy Halloween!

I love to dress up. Ever since I was a little girl being dressed up by my mommy until now, I have totally gotten into 'fancy dress' (as they call it here in England). The first costume I remember wearing was a large pillowcase that my mom cut eye holes into and sewed on black letters that said "BOO!". I was quite a cutie pie as a ghost. I then moved on to become a cow girl (an outfit I decided to wear for months afterwards...thanks parents for not forcing the issue on that one!), a Raggedy Ann doll and a variety of spooky characters.

Even as an adult I've gotten into Halloween. This year I am dressed up as a dark angel. It's not much of a costume but one I can get away with as a school counselor. I'm in all black (yeah!) with black wings and a black furry halo. I have my curls all funked out and dark makeup on. I think my favorite Halloween costume was when I was working in a boarding school - I dressed up like one of the kids getting ready for their football games (they usually dressed in school colours and wrote on their faces). The kids got it.

So, anyway, hope you all enjoy your day. Hope you get treats and not tricks. And....

BOO!

Great day!

It's 4:30am in England. I don't know why I'm awake, but I am. So I thought I'd share what a fantastic day it was...

I got a great night's sleep. We were in bed by 11:00pm and I slept almost non-stop until 9am. Which was a good thing after the lack of sleep the night before. Having a very drunk fiance on Thursday night was not helpful...especially as he was throwing up at 3:30am. But last night...mmmmm. Gooooood!

Good news number two...I have been attempting to become a qualified England field hockey umpire this year. I took the written assessment last year (it was darn hard) and have been umpiring games since. At 11:30am, I was assessed during a game. And it was a tough game. Umpiring men's games, particularly at men's 3 level, is quite tough - they give you much stick if they think you made a poor call. But according to the 'assessor', I was quietly confident in my game calling. The best news of all is that I was asssessed to be a higher level than the normal introductory level (1D) and given a rating of 1B, which means I can umpire any game that my club plays this year! Woo hoo. It's quite an honour (and yes, I'm bragging!).

Good news three...I played for the Ladies' One team. Usually I play for the Ladies' Twos. And ya know what? I didn't give up a goal (I'm a goalie). And I made some great saves. At 37, I played at a very high level of hockey!!! Yeah, me!

Good news four...R. and I celebrated our two year anniversary. We went to a cool restaurant, Rodizio Rico. And while we could have stuffed ourselves, we were actually quite restrained. Yes, we were full at the end of the evening...but not crazy full. It was fun and a great ending to a wonderful day!

Doggy Love

Today on the GG website, we are talking about the dogs we have adopted or the ones we'd like to. In seeing all of this, I decided to finally check out the Dog Trust website that I've seen on the t.v. ( http://www.dogstrust.org.uk/) and sponsor a dog. I'm sponsoring Harvey. If you live in the UK, I'm urging you to contribute to the site in some way. If you live in the US, then check out the following site: Nikeno's Second Chances and sponsor a dog there. Either way, our best friends will be the winners!

I adopted a dog named Amber a few years ago. I had to move to a place that didn't accept dogs and my brother & sis-in-law decided to take her in. She now gets to live on a boarding school campus and have lots of love. Adopting a dog who had been abused before was one of the best things I ever did. She became a bundle of love. If I get another chance someday to have a back garden, I'll definately get another abandoned dog!

Memories

So. What is your first memory as a child? The thing that comes to my mind is quite interesting. I grew up on a boarding school campus. We were living in the second floor of a big ol' Victorian house that was across the street from the rest of the campus. It was next to the gym, which was great as I could run around in there and make lots of noise on the wooden floors (remember those days?).

My first memory is one on the campus. It was a cool morning. I was in my favorite feety pajamas and we were heading to breakfast in the cafeteria (we all got free food which my mom LOVED). I remember being able to fit between the metal rungs in one area of the fencing...someone has pulled them apart a bit. I must have been 3 or 4 at the time. And the ground was crunchy and I had freedom to run across the field to the caf. My mom didn't have to worry about anyone snatching me or me getting hurt...there were always people around.

It's such a happy memory. I was a lucky child - my early life was very easy and was full of people who hugged me a lot. From around 4 to 7, I lived in a new place, a boy's dorm. And the boys thought I was cool. It gave them the opportunity to be sweet - they could hold a little girl on their lap and make faces...cause, ya know, it's only a little kid. And in those days, no one would worry about pediphaelia. It allowed a little girl to have a bunch of big brothers and a bunch of boys to be able to show a soft side...one they rarely were able to show without getting made fun of by the others.

Yup - I was lucky.

Mehndi

If you've been reading my blog, you'll remember that I'm having a mixed religion ceremony...Hindu and Christian. In addition, I'll be celebrating both South Asian and American/UK traditions during the wedding/reception. One such tradition in South Asia is something called mehndi. Mehndi is a 'temporary tattoo' of sorts. You apply henna to the skin, allow it to dry and then keep away from water for a while. You can have all sorts of patterns and colours, though traditionally the colours are a reddish brown to black.

Most South Asian brides have a mehndi ceremony before their wedding, where you get very cool designs on your hands and feet. More likely than not, I'll just have something more simple, as I'll have a friend work with me (she's an artist). I, too, am learning how to do this so that I can apply designs to my bridal party. So...I tried it this past weekend. Nothing too complicated but here's an example of what I did on my left hand:
It's nothing much but I was just curious about what a pre-made cone would do. I think I'd rather mix my own henna and work from there...plus as I'm not doing a ton of designs, I'll use a bottle with a metal tip instead of the bag.

I also put a pattern on my foot though the pic didn't come out well. I've done a lot of reading and found some cool stuff. Here's one pic of mehndi that I really like:

In this pic, the henna is still drying so you don't get to see the darkness of it...but I really like the patterns and would love something like it.

For my bridesmaids, I'll probably take aspects of this and use them to have something a touch more simple (it takes a load of time to do!).

More wedding stuff

Today I got some news regarding the wedding weekend. My aunt (on my dad's side) has offered to pay for a post-wedding party...the Sunday brunch. This is HUGE! I'll probaby have anywhere from 50 to 75 out of town guests, so it'll be a chance to see them once again. Now I just have to figure out where to have this brunch. The hotel that I have booked for out of town guests does have a brunch but not sure if they could handle us...we'll have to see. Phone calls will be made this weekend!

Second bit of news - we can host the rehearsal dinner at my old boarding school in a big conference room. We'll order in pizza and wings. A nice place that will cost me NADA! And pizza and wings are easy and inexpensive. Oh, and lots of parking for everyone.

So two things that will cost me less than expected...woo hoo! A few more things figured out...a bit less stress for me!

It's amazing just how expensive this whole wedding thing is, especially if you have tons of family and lots of friends coming from other areas. It's actually the one thing that does stress me out about the wedding...I'm not worried about whether everything is 'perfect'...which may make me a non-bridezilla...whatever that is!

You know you've been in UK too long when...

*You pick out a hover mower and are more interested in how long the electric cord is rather than asking the staff where the self propelled mowers are located.

* You have given up complaining about lack of drive up ATMS and parking miles away from the shops. You have actually purchased a rolling shopping bag.

* You start to accept queuing (getting in a line) as a way of life.

*You think a Nissan is a big truck

*When approaching a round-about the thought of how much easier it would be to just turn right no longer crosses your mind as you fight the merging traffic to go in an almost complete circle.

* You expect men to actually cut, comb and style their hair (using hair products). And to wear high street clothes. Jeans and a T-shirt are no longer socially acceptable.

* You dissolve in laughter when listening to the funny accent of the Southern Americans on TV!

* You think $70 for a haircut is quite reasonable.

* You are on to your 19th umbrella and your second overcoat.

* You buy a disposable baby BBQ from Tesco.

* You start thinking English cuisine isn't all that bad after all, I mean, it's hard to beat a full English breakfast.

*You can cook entire meal not using a can, jar,box or packet.

*You think lamb & Mint, Marmite Yeast Extract, pickled onion, Roast chicken, and steak & Onion are normal flavours for Crisps. (Potatoe Chips)

* You have given up explaining why you are half an hour late to work as no-one notices or cares.

* Coming to work with a hangover is entirely accepted and indeed expected at least once a week.

* You begin to believe that a family day out involves taking the kids to the local pub.

* You don't even bother looking out of the window when you get up in the morning to check what the day is like. You know it is overcast.

* More than three hours sunlight on summer days seems excessive.

* You only just realise you have lost your Sunglasses, you left them on a visit back home 2 summers ago.

* You realise your sunburn cream is the stuff you originally bought from home with you.

* A day at the beach means wearing the warmest clothes you own while standing on golf ball-size pebbles and the thought of swimming doesn't even enter your head.

(These are thanks to a poster at UK-Yankee.com)

While all of these don't apply to me, they do apply to some people in the UK...and do explain a lot about the culture. I find them quite amusing!

Baby cakes...

Today I began the topic of development in my psychology class. I love to talk about pregnancy as most kids really don't know what goes on in there. I showed a film that had pictures from within the womb and then we talked about what develops on the body & when. It's facinating at what our cells are able to do in such a short period of time. Humans are amazing!

When my mom was preggers, she was so excited. She couldn't believe that a life would be coming out of her body. And she almost got me as a Christmas gift. I decided to hang on though and arrive the following day. I gave the first hint of my coming at around 4am. She ended up at the hospital at 8:30am. There she stayed for a while...contractions and all. And then it got close to time. But something went wrong. She had a contraction that held. One that lasted at least 15 minutes - they don't know as they weren't keeping an eye on it. But it meant that I was not getting the oxygen that I needed.

When I was born at around 10pm, I was given the Apgar test. My score was a 1. It is not good at all! The first time my dad saw me, I was in a nurse's arms being run to the neonatal unit...he said I looked like a blue coloured rag doll...nothing was working in me hardly at all.

The worst part for my parents is that he had to wait for a full year to see if this had taken any effect...would I end up being brain damaged in any way? Well...it seems as if it didn't have any major effect, though I'm sure my lack of ability in languages and short term memory issues might have something to do with it. But irregardless I turned out okay. I went from almost lifeless to a very happy baby to a decently okay adult.

R. & I have talked about trying to have kids. At my age, it kinda scares me. Will I have the energy? Will I actually be able to have a child? Could I handle a baby with mental or physical issues? I think whatever happens, we'll deal.

Food for thought

I am proud of myself. I'm in the midst of the dreaded monthlies and as always, have been craving both salt and chocolate. But I have resisted. Last night after eating dinner, R. and I had to run to the store to get milk and shaving cream. I declared that I wanted chocolate. Despite my previous declaration of wanting to lose weight (R. decided he wants to jump on this bandwagon to). R. was so excited about chocolate. Well...we got to the store and went to the candy isle. And ya know what. I decided NOT to get chocolate or the crisps that were calling out my name. Woo hoo. I may not have gone to the gym yesterday, and I ate a bit too much at dinner...but I took the first step. And that decision will help as will every other positive one I make.

We returned from the store probably around 8:15pm. R. made himself some hot chocolate (he calls it hot milk, which I still think is quite funny) and he made me some tea (too much milk late at night is not good for my tummy). And then we went to bed. We sat drinking our drinks for a while, chatting, and then turned off the lights and chatted for about 1-1/2 hours. We call it our bed talk time. Usually it happens every night for about a 1/2 hour, but with being tired, we decided to get into bed really early and hope for an early bed hour for sleep. 10ish wasn't too bad and we were able to talk about a lot of stuff...hopes, dreams, etc. I love that time. And we also got a good night sleep too!

Now for the only bad thing. I forgot to put my engagement ring back on after doing my hair. I hate getting all the gooey stuff on my ring while working it into my hair, so I take it off and put it by my bedside. And I forgot about it. I was rushing around doing stuff...and I forgot. So I'm here at work feeling all nekked. I've had the ring for long enough that it's become a part of me. And I feel guilty. Like I'm hiding something. But I'm not. So the lesson learned here...move my ring box into the bathroom so that I can put it on immediately after doing my hair instead of waiting until later.

Gain and loss

171 Days to go until the wedding. While it sounds like quite a few days, it's a lot less than I wanted to have when actually starting to lose some weight. And yes, I know I've talked about it a ton, but I haven't gotten off my sweet ass to actually do anything about it. And somehow I did lose a few pounds, but not enough.

When I was living on my own in Boston, I ate quite healthily. Yes, there were days I ate junk, but overall I kept away from sweets and didn't eat things like crisps or chips (chips or french fries). But here it seems as if all bets are off. I've been eating like a teenager and it's just not working. Thus gaining 15 pounds in the 2 years I've been here...and I've gone up 2 sizes. It's not that I'm fat or even heavy looking (I was quite thin beforehand).

So here it is. I'm starting. I'm going to try to lose at least 10 lbs. And I'm going to go to the gym to tone everything up. I used to get so many compliments on my legs - they were well muscled but not gross and kids in sports that I coached used to say they wanted legs like mine. Not anymore. But they will again!

There will be a few good things to come out of this fitness & weight loss program:

1. Fitting into clothing much better. And not having to buy new clothes as I have some lovely things that I just don't fit into. Saving money is good right now.

2. Getting into my wedding dresses and looking really good in them - toned arms in a sleeveless dress...check.

3. Getting fit. I'd like to be able to run around and not feel breathless. I want to go to hockey training and kick tushie.

4. Feeling better about myself. Overall I like who I am. I just don't like my bod at this moment. Yes, I know it's typical to women, but I did like my body overall 10 lbs ago, so I want to get back to that.

5. Better sex life. The better I feel about myself, the more I want it. And that will in turn make for a better relationship between R. and me!

So...171 days. I can do it. My hope is to lose at least 2 pounds by the end of the month. I'll let you know!

Pictures from L'Estartit, Spain


Have to say...it was a fun time!

The Visit

What does it mean to be a woman? What does it mean to be a man? Could I be detected if I wanted to live life as a man?

Today and tomorrow, Norah Vincent is visiting my classroom to talk about her experiences as a 'man' for one year. I find this facinating and hope that my classes do as well. It'll be a good feed into the chapter on developmental psychology which I've now chosen to do after this (instead of my usual sensation & perception topic).

It's an interesting topic. One that has been argued for centuries...our differences, our similarities. And even more so, how we deal with these. I know that it's been easier to be a therapist and a woman...it's so much more expected. But to get a job as a counselor in a school, you have an advantage if you are a man.

And then there's whether it's better to be a man or woman. R. and I have this argument all the time. Personally, I kinda like being a woman a lot.

How to help a friend

How do you tell a friend that she ought not listen to her long distance boyfriend?

Last night we went out with my friend, A., and her boyfriend, P.. While hanging out with R., P. revealed that he doens't think that A. is the woman for his future. They have been dating off and on for 10 years. And A. is planning on moving back to the States for him as she thinks he's going to marry her or at least make her his lifelong partner. Why does she think that? He says things such as 'see...that's why I haven't given you a ring yet' or 'yes, I think it would be interesting to find a job in the UK'. He gives her just enough to make her think he's into her...and she ignores the other things he says that point in a bad direction. He told R. that he doesn't see himself married or having children. Two things A. really wants. And she's convincing herself that she could just live with him, not getting married.

I so don't want her to give up a job she loves in this city she loves for someone who is lying to her. To someone who just doesn't have the balls to just break it off. To someone who wants to cheat on her (confirmed) and most likely already has (not confirmed).

If she was going to move to be closer to her family or because she truly wanted to be back in the States, then I would be all for it. I'd miss her but I'd support this. But not for a guy who won't commit.

What do I say to her? I can't divulge his conversation with R. But I also don't want her to be hurt in the long run and give up her London opportunity. Sigh. Boys suck sometimes.

When a sweater saved the day

There are many reasons to love autumn in London. The nights are cooler so sleeping is very comfy, particularly under a warm duvet. People want to snuggle up a lot more so love seems to be in the air. And best of all...big sweaters.

Last night I went out with a workmate, her boyfriend and a few others. We went to Belgo Noord for the mussels and beer. Now, I haven't been drinking beer in order to try to lose some weight (it hasn't really helped to be honest). So...I decided to have a few last night. Belgium beers are particularly yummy as was the food. But the downside of drinking beer when you're not used to it is found in the next morning. Beer bloat.

Now coupled with PMS and the beer bloat, finding something to wear this morning was a touch rough. The outfit I had chosen the night before just wasn't right with my big ol' tummy. So I found the ultimate autumn outfit...slouchy trousers and a slightly roomy cable knit sweater from the States. It's a lovely periwinkle colour so it doesn't look too ick. I look rather New Englandy I'd say with my clogs on the feet. And my tummy is not exposed too much...is it sweater or is it tummy? :-)

So, autumn is good for those fat days, while still remaining warm enough not to need the big winter coat. Ah...memories of American football and hot cocoa...one of those few things I miss from the States.

The thing about scuba that is totally cool is that it's like flying but underwater. At least once you learn how to do it.

I remember my first trip to learn scuba. I was quite nervous about it. We're not meant to be attempting to breathe underwater...but I did. You start off with a snorkle and swim around. As someone who had never even done that, it was a bit off-putting. I'm so used to breathing through my nose, but you can't or you end up snorting water (and yes, I did this to the kids delight). Then they get you into your gear. It's frickin' heavy above water. With a weight belt, strapped into a kit with a huge tank and in a wetsuit, you feel a bit claustrophobic. And we weren't doing this in a pool like most people...no, we were in the ocean from the start. So vision was a bit touchy. You learn how to use the instruments on the gear and as you release air from your BCD (like a life jacket), you slowly sink. As you head down into the water, you have to 'equalize', which means you learn to get rid of that pressure building up in your ears (like the pressure you feel when you fly but worse). If you can't do this, you can't dive. You have to go down slowly or you WILL feel pain.

Then at bottom (about 8 meters), you do tasks...like letting water into your mask and then getting rid of it. Now who in their right mind WANTS water in their mask? It's an awful feeling and you definitely get water up your nose. Ick! But you learn how to do it well. Then you learn how to take the entire mask off and put it back on. Even worse! But the hardest thing to do is to remove your breathing apparatus and breathe the air bubbles while letting it free flow through your regulator (the breathing ap). It's SCARY. But I survived this last year. And got my Scuba Diver certification.

This year was a walk in the park in comparison. Yes, I had to remove my mask and put it back on. Yes, I had to remove all my gear and put it back on. But I knew how to do it. And it wasn't as scary. I'm glad that I had this break in-between as I was able to have some time to think about it all during the year in the middle.

We got to go on dives that were amazing. At one point, I was hovering at 15 meters and a school of fish surrounded me. Tons of shiny blue & brown fish just swimming around. Orange starfish dotting the surface. An eel that seemed quite nervous. A fish that looked like the spiney coral bits below. It was SO COOL.

Never in my mind did I think that this would be something I'd want to do. But I really like it. I don't have the money to go on lots of trips and R. doesn't know how to do it so I'd hate to go on my own...but I may try it on my honeymoon in St Lucia. I'm just happy to have been given this amazing opportunity. I love working at this school!

Scuba

I'm baaaa-ccck!

So. Where was I and what the heck was I doing? Well...three adults (including me) took a group of 24 students scuba diving in L'Estartit, Spain. Each year our school hosts trips in both the UK and in the Continent. I did the trip last year and have to say that this year was even better.

We left VERY early a.m. from school and headed off to the airport. We finally made it to our place a few hours later and began the process of getting scuba gear. I was most excited as I was going to end up certified as an Open Water Diver and have a few dives toward my advanced certification. And I made it. As did most of our kids. We had a ton of beginners who ended up with Scuba Diver certs and a few who went on to become more advanced. Only 2 dropped out...which is not bad.

Excitingly, we had a group of kids who were good beans. They got quiet when we asked and seemingly didn't do anything bad. Not a bad trip. And on top of it, it was warm and I got some sun. Sweet!

Spain at 6am

Going to Spain for a few days. Taking kids from work. Cross fingers I survive! ;-) Will tell stories when I get back....

A Momentus 150th Post

I met the future in-laws. Yup, R's parents.

Sunday started off at 8am for me. I woke up on my own and just couldn't get back to sleep. So I got up, turned on the t.v. and decided to put together a small cabinet that we just hadn't gotten to. We needed the extra storage.

Then finally R. woke up (probably due to the hammering sound around 9am). We sat, had tea, discussed our action plan for the day and then had breakfast. The day before R had seemed like he wanted to do a lot that day to get ready for his parents, but he was a lump for a while. I think the stress of everything had hit. Finally at 11am I told him he had to get ready to run our errands...and he did.

We went to the mall, Brent Cross, to pick up a pair or two of new shoes for me for work (bad shoes from States!), to go to Boots and to pick up moisturizer at the Body Shop. I found two pairs of cute work shoes (one may have to get returned...we'll see), found some makeup I wanted and R. got his yummy smelling moisturizer for his dry bod.

We did this in less than 1 hour and headed home to start lunch for his folks, as well as finish cleaning the house. I was a mad woman - cleaned the bathroom (again), wiped down the kitchen (again), R. vaccuumed a ton and we straightened things up. The flat looked quite lovely by the end. And then I began to make the fajitas! Yup, I was going to introduce them to a bit of Americana (the bit that I like). So sliced up some veg and chicken, poured spice all over them and stir-fried away. Before putting them in the oven for the final cook/keeping warm, I added a touch of salsa so nothing would dry out.

And then we waited.

They showed up precisely at 2pm. And I got a smile from his mum and a gruff hello from his father. We went and sat on the couch for a bit of small talk. As you can suspect, it was awkward! Finally R. suggested that we go and eat (I was starving so happy he did so)...and it got a bit less weird. Things relaxed. And they enjoyed my meal (or at least it seemed like they did). We then went and sat back on the couch and we relaxed. Phew. I actuallly was having some fun. Dad relaxed and we got into a conversation about family. Mum smiled at me a lot. I was even invited to their house this weekend to meet an aunt. They remained in our flat until about 4:30 or so. And smiled at me as they left.

Both R. & I were relieved...and exhausted...happy it went okay!

Obsession

I consider myself quite a level-headed person. Someone who can see beyond hype and not get to crazy over most things. After we got engaged, I told R. that I wouldn't go crazy over the wedding. That I wouldn't become a 'bridezilla'...and I don't think I've gone that far. But I will say that I'm surprised at the slight obsession that I've started having about the wedding.

I have a lovely red binder that holds all my organizational info. I have places for our budget (we're on target so far), a timeline (behind in some things, ahead in others), pictures of everything one would include in a wedding, etc. And I look at it every day. No, there's nothing new in the folder, but I still look at the pictures. I look at the possible flowers that I could use...here's a few examples:



But that's not all I look at. I also look at hair styles and Indian outfits and confetti...etc, etc, etc.

And then I go on those wedding websites, like The Knot or Brides. And I read about what everyone else is doing or has done...and I look at their Bios. And then I worry that my wedding isn't enough. That they're doing all these cool things that I'm not doing. And mainly it's cause I'm not willing to spend as much money as these women. I'm on a budget. And I don't have $25,000+ to spend on a wedding. And in reality, I wouldn't want to. But there's a bit of jealousy going on. And I hate it.

The hype to spend in weddings is huge. There are ads and cool pictures and wedding websites and t.v. shows. And they don't show the simple things that look great...they show the big events. And so, even if you don't want it to, it makes you feel like your wedding is going to be inadequate.

A wedding ought to be about the gathering of friends and family to celebrate the marriage of two people. It ought not be about what colours you're using, or having the perfect favour that everyone will probably throw away...but for even the most level headed of us, the details sometimes get in the way.

I look forward to my wedding day. I hope to have fun, eat and drink, look pretty and have a good party for everyone. But I don't want to go into my wedding day all stressed out. So I'm going to have to pull back from looking at my binder and at those websites. It's time for a wedding planning breather. A saner approach to life.

Modelling

I've been looking through an Asian bridal mag (Asian over in England means anyone of Indian or Pakistani descent). There are amazing pictures of women in saris and lehenga cholis. I'm trying to get some ideas for wedding outfits, hair and beauty. It's a gorgeous magazine...but they don't have a lot of Asian women who are modelling for it. It's mainly filled with lightly tanned Caucasion women.

Why? Is it that they can't find Asian women to model? Or is it that the 'ideal' for women is white, slim, etc? I hate to see that the Asian magazine isn't exclusively using Asian models. It just sends a bad message. I'd personally wonder if my own look wasn't 'right'...similar to the experience I have when I rarely see anyone with curly hair...are my curls 'bad'?

Sleepy sleepy

I can't imagine what I'm going to be like if I ever have a baby. This week has been rough on me due to lack of sleep. R. is having bad elbow issues again - he has bursitis, which basically means he has liquid on his elbow. It's gross. And his doctor didn't do anything to relieve it. From what I understand he's supposed to have it drained. I'm truly hoping that he goes to the Emergency Room (A & E) to get it done as it's been quite a few days...

And that gets me to my initial point. Lack of sleep. The poor boy hasn't slept well due to this issue. He turns and bumps it, wakes up in pain and then my sleep gets messed up. While I typically love sleeping next to him, this week has been a trial. It's not that he totally wakes me up...but I'm such a sensitive sleeper that it just disrupts it enough. And so I'm tired. Yesterday I was so tired that I had to close my door at work and just cry - the stress of life was just hitting me and with lack of sleep & PMS...I was a goner.

At this point I'm having a tough time putting my thoughts together and saying normal words. Which will make "Back to School Night" just a joy...yes, I will be expected to talk to parents about my psychology class and to any who want to talk to me about counseling kids. I hope I can hold it together tonight. It's going to be a long day - started here around 8am, have field hockey practice in the afternoon (a run & chalk board session) and then we start again at 6pm until at least 9pm. Sigh. But that's what we get paid the big bucks for...ha!

Happily our boss is letting us wear jeans tomorrow, so that will take away some of the thought process in my evening...just pick a shirt and that's it. Easy peasy.

So hope for the best...that I survive meeting the parents tonight and make it through tomorro!

Why?!!!!

The view of Americans overseas is not really a good one. And I think it comes as a shock to many Americans that people would think badly of them for any reason. But being an American is so very different than being any other nationality and as we're so insular, we can't see how what we say or do could be seen as either odd, insulting or otherwise not good.

Here's an example of why Americans are made fun of over here and looked at with distain:

(From coverage on the Riders Cup) Lehman packed his golf bag with hundreds of bags of corn tortillas and has made sure that his team have tomatoes to make the necessary salsa. “I swear to God this is the truth,” Lehman revealed at a damp and dreary K Club yesterday after his team’s arrival was delayed by several hours — because his bag was loaded down and could not be moved.
“We live in Arizona and it is the land of the Mexican food. When we were last over here it was very difficult to find good chips and salsa, so we decided to bring our own. I must have loaded 200 bags of tortillas into my golf bag. No wonder they couldn’t move it. They are on a one-way trip, absolutely, because we are going to eat those babies.”

To Lehman and company - you are in a foreign country for 3 whole weeks. You will be back in Arizona soon. It is seen as an insult to the country you are now in that you had to bring over AMERICAN FOOD to 'survive' those three weeks. Darn it man, take advantage of the fact that you can get the best potato products over there. Enjoy eating something that isn't from Arizona.

Yes folks, this is what happens when tourists come from America (not all but enough). They want what they have at home. They don't want to try the new foods of the country that they're in. They expect everything to be like home. And complain loudly when it's not. Dudes - you're in a foreign country...take in the new experiences, try the new food and don't continue to give Americans a bad name...you're coming across as people who can't see beyond your own faces...who aren't willing to move beyond your own borders...who aren't willing to compromise. And it's a shame. There's a lot we can learn from other countries. Differences aren't bad - just different!

So Lehman. I appreciate you like your chips and salsa. But I wish you had left them at home. It's sometimes hard enough to be an American living overseas with the president we have - he gives people enough fodder to go on about...we don't need any more excuses for people to take the mickey. And about those outfits...

Division of Labour

One of the things that is supposedly difficult for couples is the issue of doing housework. For many women, there's the feeling that they are doing it all. And yes, sometimes I feel that way too. But right now, I just feel like neither of us are pulling our weight.

We both work quite stressful jobs, though the things that cause stress are different. We also have different hours - I may be home anywhere between 4 - 8pm depending on whether or not I'm coaching, have meetings, etc. And this Thursday I won't be home until after 10pm due to work. R. tends to get in around 6pm most evenings, but then he goes and sits on the computer as he works on projects that he feels he doesn't have the quiet for at work.

Then there are the sports. I train every Monday night from 8-10pm with a field hockey team. And it's very competitive so I work very hard with it. I come home drenched and exhausted. R. is part of a football team (soccer) and so randomly throughout the week, he may have a game.

And then there's R's home visits. He goes once or twice a week to see his parents for dinner, which takes up most of the evening.

So that means that there are evenings when we just don't hardly see each other no less feel up to doing housework. On the 'free' nights we just want to spend time cooking a good dinner and catching up. But that means that the flat looks like a fright right now.

Tonight I'll get home around 8pm. R will cook dinner as he'll be home earlier. Then I want to do some cleaning. At least straighten up. The major problem is that we never took care of all the extra furniture that moved in with me and with the new extra bedroom. So we have 3 large desks, a corner table, a dining table, two couches and a chair all trying to compete for space with the t.v., ironing board, R's cricket gear & my hockey gear. It's toooo much!

So we've decided that we need to do this all on Sunday. No plans at all. Just organization. And we need to buy a filing cabinet to put our crap in. Right now we have so much paper lying around it's driving me nuts. I'm not a clean freak, but I want my space to look nice NOW!

On an aside...I know we could afford to hire a cleaner once very two weeks so that we didn't have to stress over getting things cleaned...but I'd rather spend that £60+/month on something more fun, such as something for the wedding! We'll see if we can get our acts together. Cause I'd rather have a cleaner than a murder charge on my head...

Rings

Today I started thinking about wedding rings. I'm not sure what I want yet. With my ring, I know I need to have a small ring width (3mm or less) and love rings with diamonds or sapphires. I also don't want to spend crazy amounts of money but would love something special. Such dichotomies!

Here are a few I've found online that are similar to what I'll probably look for:

I'm not one to remember dreams. And sex dreams? Definitely NOT. I think I probably remember just a few dreams a year. And after last night's dream, I'm kinda glad.

It wasn't exactly a nightmare, but it was something that made me uncomfortable. Cause the sex dream wasn't about R. In fact, it was about a perfect stranger. I was at a concert or something and met a guy who was sitting next to me. And boy was he hot. But I was still engaged to R. And had on my ring. But it didn't matter. I still brought him home (reasons are fuzzy). And we got it on. He left and then R. came out of the extra bedroom all naked and wanting some. This is when I woke up. 5:25am. Scared the bejeezus out of me at first waking. What had I done?

Then I realized that it was just a dream. That I hadn't messed up. But it was so real...the desire to hook up with someone who made me feel very sexy (not that R. doesn't...but after a while you lose that zazing that a stranger brings). And the realness got me thinking for the next 1 hour until the alarm went off.

Would I ever be tempted? I'm sure I will. My eyes haven't shut down and I still can get that zing from seeing a hot guy on the street. But will I follow through as I did in my dream? I have to hope not. See R. is such a wonderful man and is the first guy who really WANTS to communicate when we have issues about anything. We talk through our problems. And that quality is worth holding onto (as are the many other wonderful qualities he has). And luckily, once in a while, I still get that zazing when I look at him.

Hopefully I won't remember any more dreams for a while. My subconscious sends me all sorts of oddness...and I'd rather it stay there!

A fish feast and bad shoes



Recently, R. has been feeding me lots of pizza and pasta. I'm trying to lose weight for the wedding and this is not helping (as they are amongst my favorites foods). So last night I decided to introduce more fish into our diet. And boy was last night's meal delish!

I made rainbow trout with caramelised onions. Sweet and also spicy, the fish just melted in your mouth. And with a side of rice and roasted veggies, it was a gorgeous meal.

I started out by making a syrup of water & brown sugar. I then added sliced garlic (10 cloves!), ginger and a hot green chili. After cooking down a bit more, I then squeezed in a lime and put in a touch of fish sauce which gave it a Thai sort of feel. The fish was just pan fried in a touch of olive oil for about 5 minutes per side until the skin was crispy.

Roy, who isn't really a fish person, decided that this was fantastic and that, yes, we should eat more fish now. So I'm in search of good fish recipes that are reasonably healthy...

------------------------------------------------

Have you ever purchased shoes quickly? You see them, think they'd be great, try them on but not 'really' (as in you don't walk around too much), get them home, still don't think about walking around in them on carpet to test them, and then go out into the real world with them and think - "Damn...these shoes are cute but *&%$£ they hurt!". That happened to me today. I bought some cute work shoes while I was in the States. They are Nine West, which I usually have good luck with. Black, medium heeled, funky bits of extra leather & brass metal bits all over them...absolutely cool looking shoes. And they hurt. So much that I'm sitting in my office without shoes on. And not looking forward to teaching in 20 minutes with them on. I think the kids will just have to deal with my toes being shown. Sigh. Now I have to spend more money on new shoes, cause I just can't imagine having to wear these all winter long as my cool work shoes. And I didn't want to spend money this autumn on clothing or shoes - I want it for our wedding!!!! Bugger!

5 Years Ago

5 years ago. I was working at Episcopal High School in Alexandria, VA. It is located about 3 miles from the Pentagon.

5 years ago. I was dating a guy who was working in the Pentagon that day.

5 years ago. I was not teaching when the first plane hit. But heard the news through another teacher. Each classroom had a television in it so we turned on the news. And then saw the second plane hit.

5 years ago. I went outside to see if I could find an administrator. And heard an amazing noise. At the time I didn't know that it was the sound of military planes taking off after the Pentagon hit.

5 years ago. I had to hold in my own fears for my bf as I worried about the kids whose parents were working in the towers and the Pentagon. We were lucky. All the parents got out. But there was a lot of work for me in the following days. You couldn't live in the DC area and not be affected somehow.

5 years ago. My bf was fine. He's live on to cause more serious heartache later.

5 years ago. I was one of the lucky ones. And my prayers go out to those who lost someone.

I've now been in two cities struck by terrorists. It's part of life now. Innocence is gone.

Love

I was reading another blog that asked us to write down our story about how we met our good guys. And I thought to myself...have I ever written down how I met R.? I'm not sure I have. (And quite honestly I'm too lazy right now to go and look). So, with less than 7 months until our wedding, I'll let you know the story...

I arrived in London in July 2004. I was going to be a school counselor, teach a Psychology course and coach a field hockey team. One of the coaches had some interest in joining a hockey club in the area and I was excited about doing it too. So I went to their open day. And had a blast. A few of the people were really quite welcoming...one being Ali T. She invited us back to the club for drinks and took it upon herself to look after me for the next few weeks. We got on great. Which was good cause work wasn't going so well.

In mid-October '04, Ali T. invited me to go to her birthday party, which was going to be held at a ceilidh or Scottish dance. I wasn't sure I wanted to go as I was only going to know Ali T., but figured I might as well as I'd meet other people. So I showed up at the pub where people were meeting. Had a drink with all sorts of new people. And then we were off to the ceilidh. There I met a bunch of new people, including R. I honestly thought that he had a girlfriend with him. So I didn't really flirt. In fact I was having a high time flirting with one of Ali's college friends. R. just knew Ali through cricket.

Then the last dance arrived. And R. asked me to dance. We were both quite squiffy by that point and had a blast...we laughed at ourselves and each other. We were NOT in a state to dance. But we made it through. And at the end, R. turned to me and bam! He kissed me straight on the lips. And it was soooo unexpected...but sooo nice!

And we spent most of the night together talking and talking and talking. And that was the beginning. A few days R. called me and asked me out. I wasn't so sure about him...but something led me to give him a chance. And boy am I glad I did. He has added so much to who I am and to my life.

So that's it. That's the story. Of course there's a bit more to it...but that's private to me and R.

I've been having a lot of conversations about "Relationships". From the moment they begin (perhaps with that first siting on the website or the first date) to the moment they end (all things end...), there are tough moments. And we're so afraid of them that we try to remove ourselves from them. But usually that just creates even more tough moments.

I think back to my younger days of dating. I made so many mistakes. Mistake number one was not TRULY listening to what the guy was saying to me or SEEING how he was acting. I had on my rose tinted glasses of expectation and fear of loss. So many people are so afraid of losing what they have that they stop recognizing what their own instincts say. And in the end they tend to lose anyway...but sometimes at a great cost to their hearts, lives or sanity.

Mistake number two: I know that I had a problem asking guys questions in my relationships. I think I was usually afraid of the answers. Or that the questions would put 'too much pressure' on the guy. What hogwash! If I wanted to know something, then I ought to have asked. And if the guy broke up with me for just asking a question, then he wasn't the guy for me.

What makes us tip-toe around relationships? Why are we so afraid to lose something if it's not right for us? Why do we refuse to see the signs that people send all the time? Why is it that being part of a couple, even a bad one, is better than being alone & healthy?

I'm glad I've pretty much moved on and grown up in my own way. I do know that if I lost R., I'd be beyond unhappy. I would definitely be depressed and angry and hurt. But I'd be okay after time. I'd survive. And I'd deal with the loss and move on eventually. Cause we all can. Life is full of hurts, from that first time as a baby that mom leaves us to our first fight with someone to the act of dying in the end....but other than that last hurt, we are made to move on and be okay...if we CHOOSE.

I now ask those questions of R and if I see something that bothers me, I bring it up. I am prepared to piss him off sometimes. But I know that he loves me now and we'll be okay. He brings up topics that make me uncomfortable, but he does it for us. I bring up topics that make him uncomfortable, but I do it for us. If we couldn't handle these things, then we ought not be together. But we do handle them and it's made us a better couple. Right now I'm not better off being single...but it's not holding me back from keeping my 'eyes open'.

Dinner

Last night R. and I were in the mood for a bit of spice. To his disappointment, my desire was for spicy food, not a spicy evening (though I can tell you he wasn't complaining by sleep time!). So we went to the shop and got the ingredients for a spicy pasta...

Plum tomatoes
Tomato puree
Chopped tomato with garlic in the tin

Those were the base of the tomato sauce. Into this I added some pan sauted garlic and onions that had become quite translucent. And then the kicker...thin slices of chorizo that had been pan friend with mushrooms and red pepper. Mmmmm....it adds a nice touch of 'kick' to an otherwise bland dish.

We made up some penne which soaked up the sauce. The veg was still dente and the meat tasted a touch smokey. All in all it was heaven on a plate.

Hmmm...now what to have for dinner tonight?

Let's do lunch

As you know, things have not been great in terms of R's parents and me. They have kept trying to push us apart. But it's mainly his dad. R has always stated that his mom would be more interested in meeting me and starting a relationship...that she wants to see him happy.

Last week, my df's mom met with him for lunch to chat. He finally told her that we had set a date, that the wedding was going to be held in the US and that things were moving forward (I have to admit that I've been putting the pressure on him to do this). She reacted relatively well. He then also told her that he couldn't keep coming over for dinner and leaving me behind at the flat. It wasn't fair as I was going to become his wife. She cried at the thought of him not coming over, but he emphasized that there was a way to get around this and that was meeting me and having me come over too.

So...last night we were sitting watching t.v. when his mom calls. She said that they now want to meet me. Holy cow! My df is going to meet with his dad first to set down some ground rules (such as, don't interogate her, don't accuse her of anything, etc)...and then we'll figure out when to meet.

I'm happy about this but also VERY nervous. I know they don't want me in their lives and are only doing this to not lose their son...but at the same time I know I want to do this. It's probably going to be awful at first, but hopefully more meetings will bring some respect and perhaps even liking.

I'll keep y'all updated about this future meeting. Cross your fingers for me!

How to start your day off right

1. Wake up on time, almost without the alarm, because you actually slept well.

2. Turn and see a cutie pie in the bed next to you, all cuddled up with the blanket and head smooshed into the pillow right next to you.

3. Have cereal with fresh milk that your honey bought last night because he felt the 'old' milk just wasn't right.

4. Find an outfit that looks really good and earrings that you haven't worn in ages that are wonderful & were forgotten.

5. Return to the bedroom to say 'goodbye' to the sweetie and have him turn to look at you and say, "Wow. Phewarrrr...You look gorgeous. They don't deserve you at work. Wanna call in sick?". Hee!

6. Walk out the door to get the bus (cause you're actually running early & the train is running late) and realize - IT'S FRIDAY!!!

I see you!

As you may remember, I love to watch people....on the sidewalk, in the tube...yeah pretty much everywhere. There's just so much facinating stuff going on and we don't know the half of it. Too many people don't take the time to slow down and check what's going on in the world around them.

So this weekend, my psychology classes are getting a chance to do some naturalistic observations. It's their first project of the year. They have a choice of three different things to do:

1. observe a group of people interacting...this will be done in pairs
2. observe children & parents interacting in a playground
3. observe people in school doing their thang

I can't wait to see what happens in this project...it's always interesting to read what teenagers have to say about what they observe. It gets you thinking...what would I look for? how would I interpret this differently?

So perhaps today is a good day to think about your world. What do you see? How is your experiences influencing your interpretation of events? Could you 'see' in a different way? Could this change you...your behaviours...your world?

How to almost have a heart attack

We won!!!

Yesterday, on our Bank Holiday Monday, the ladies cricket team were part of a 6-a-side cricket tourney. We were definitely NOT the favorites by any bit of the imagination. The team that everyone thought would win was the Alexander Palace team (aka Ali Pali). They have a few women who have played for years...and they always bat first. They are just strong & good (somewhat manly, but you know, that's nothing against them). No one else got a chance to bat for them but these two ladies. Other teams used the day to let their entire team bat...but this team was out for the kill.

So we lost the first game versus the hosting team of Potters Bar (I love English town names!). Then we beat two other teams to get to the semi-final. Let me tell you...these games were close...tense...crazy! Then came our game versus Ali Pali. Previously, they had murdered us in our cricket games. Slaughtered. We didn't have high expectations. But we had tactics. Our coach, Tom, put us in specific positions so that they couldn't get high scoring runs (4s). And it worked. We kept them to 41...the lowest score they had for the day. Then it was our turn.

I was up to bat...and stayed to the end. We had ONE more ball to be bowled. And the score was 41 - 41. I decided to just run irregardless of what happened on the other end. So as the Ali Pali bowler let loose the ball, I took off for the stumps. And there wasn't a hit. The ball bobbled around by the wicket keeper (like a catcher)...and I screamed to the other batter, Lucy, "Runnnnnn!!!!!!". She took off, I got to the stumps in time and she was not run out. WE WON!!! A score of 42-41. Yup - I had saved the day. And our best win ever...against Ali Pali!

The last game was sorta ridiculous...it was played in the dark. And we won due to the fact that the other team just couldn't SEE the ball. We didn't really care about this game...but we won anyway! Woohoo...it was a long, hungover and lovely day!

I can make you do things

Today was the first day of full length classes...all 80 minutes of them. We have a block schedule so we have 4 one day and 4 the next. I have the fun of teaching one Psychology class on the odd days and the second on the even days. It'll work out well.

So we started out with the kids writing down what comes to mind when they think about the word, 'psychology'. It's actually a cool exercise. Most people come up with Freud or 'mind' or 'abnormal' or something like that. And they did. And it's a great segway to talk about what happens in the 'world of psychology'. It captures them right from the beginning. All of a sudden, this class has some relevance. And it does...

• Advertising - they want to know how you think and what you might buy or not and why
• Military - how does the oppo think?
• Police - who might be a terrorist? what is their profile?
• School - how can we get kids to be more motivated?

Etc, etc, etc.

And then they have to think about where the info comes from. Who does the studies? How do they work? Is the information out there accurate? Is it truly scientific? Can someone really control what I do and think? Yup - mind boggling!

And that's what makes it a great class...every day there is something that will hit you - we studied that, we talked about that...psychology is everywhere. And they don't know it...but I'll make them all do something without knowing they are doing it. But I'm not telling you what that is...at least not now.

Inconceivable...

Oh. My. God.

It's the first day of school and I JUST (at 10:30am) got a chance to check out my fun email (usually it's one of the first things I do after checking work email). And there it was. You won your Ebay bid. Hee hee.

Here's the thing. I decided for shits & giggles that I would put in a ridiculous bid for a wedding dress. It's quite pretty and simple...which I would want in a wedding dress.



But I never expected to win it. I put my total bid to top out at $25 (that's about £18...which I spend on a meal quite regularly). I truly thought it'd be topped quite easily, as most of the wedding dresses I saw were being bought for $125+ (some even higher). But this one didn't. I got it for $20.25. Crazy. That is £10.70 for me. That's almost the price of a movie. That's about what I pay for a few drinks out. And I bought a dress for that. Unbelievable.

I'm having it sent to the US (my dad's address) so that I can try it on when I visit in Dec. I may wear it to part of the reception....not sure yet. Or perhaps, may not wear it at all, if it's not too great a dress or it doesn't work with my bod. For that price, it doesn't really matter!

Here's to Ebay...now we'll see if the seller actually sends it to me!

Survival...meetings...and food

I survived the first day back at work. And what a day it was...

6:30am - woke up for the first time in ages at this time (on purpose at least). Body went into shock. Why am I doing this? Oh, yeah, to be able to live in London...and because I've done it at every other school job I've had. This is normal. This is okay. You've had tons of vacation...it's time to get back into the swing of things. Okay. Shower.

7:30am - catching the train. I forgot about the hussle and bussle of this. I forgot about getting crammed between the guy in his painting clothes that clearly haven't been washed in a while and the businessman who is okay with jamming his briefcase into your right thigh.

7:50am - pull out teacher ID to show to guards at the front. They're still in their "I must be stern" mode. You laugh and say 'hi'. Then they smile.

8:00am - get your cup of tea. You have 1 hour until the first meeting. But you have to pull out all your stuff, organize your desk, remember the password to your voicemail, check emails, etc, etc, etc.

9:00am - you are sitting in the gym. You got there early to get a back of the bleachers seat...cause it's painful otherwise. Woohoo...it worked. But then you have to sit there for 2 hours. They tell us that kids ought not have to sit for a full 80 minute class...why not allow us to at least stretch. I'm losing concentration.

11:00 - next meeting. This one is in the commons. Ahhh...seats with backs. And it only lasts one hour. It's not so bad. But still...it's the first day.

Noon - you are hungry, but know the line in the caf will be huge. So you go up to your office, and do the work that is needed. Typing up lists of kids is so exciting, but necessary. You'll check them over tomorrow for typos and missing kids. Fun, fun.

Next meeting is at 1:30pm, so at 1:00, you are rushing to get a sandwhich (roasted veggie in a wrap), yogurt and apple. Good on you for being healthy.

1:30pm - another 2 HOUR MEETING. This one about retirement. Yes...YAWN! But you realize that you have more knowledge (or at least the ability to make connections) than most of your similar aged colleagues. Hah.

3:30pm - still have work to do. Stay for 1-1/2 more hours to get it done. It's not finished...but you work at a school and so you are used to it...work is NEVER done!

5:00pm - get on tube, then train...run home and grab workout gear. Meet R. at gym. Do a bit of cardio and a bit of weights. Healthy again. Hmmm...is this a trend?

6:30pm - run home after showering...with R's help, finish fixing the fridge. Wait for grocery delivery. Decide that since fridge has no food that you should eat a bowl of Japanese noodels. Mmmm. Oh. Answer door and get delivery of groceries. It's good to have food again...and the simple things, like mustard!

10:00pm - go to bed. You have another big day ahead of you!

Light sleeping and a loud boy

I love my guy. R. is amazing. But sometimes he makes noises during the night that make me want to punch him in the face.

Last night I was tired. Very, very tired...and we had stayed up to put in our new fridge & try to make it fit in the box that the stupid people who had lived in the flat before us had installed. It didn't work well and so we kept trying and trying...thus staying up a full hour later than I hoped for.

R. was exposed to dust and had been drinking heavily the night before, so his throat was a bit rough. I was hoping though, that he'd be okay during the night.

No such frickin' luck.

I can't even describe fully the noises that came out of his body at 3:30 a.m. Grinding throat things, snorty nose things and mumbling were all on display. I tried, but it was just not going to happen...nudging him just made him make more noise. So up I got, gathering bedding along the way, and pulled out the newly delivered futon in hope of some sleep. And if I didn't have to get up for a cricket game that ended up being cancelled, I would have slept in like a teenager home from college. I can say that our new futon mattress is lovely to sleep on, and the room temp was comfy. It's easy to open the thing up while in a hazy fuzz, so I know that I'll be spending quite a few nights there in my years with R.

I'm still unhappy that I had to do this and would love to get my revenge (I won't cause I'm a nice fiance)...but if it's the worst thing about R. then I think life will be hunky dorry with him. I can put up with a few nights on 'the couch'.

Winner

I went to see the England Ladies' Cricket Team play against India yesterday. It was a great game...and we won!

I met the captain of my cricket team at Lord's. It is one of the best known cricket grounds in the world...and a really cool ground to boot. We were lucky that her mum knew a member, so we were invited to go into the Pavillion. It's an amazing facility. It reminded me some of the buildings at Princeton with the old polished wood, the pictures from the 18th century...the 'old boy' feel!

We went to the top of the Pavillion and watched the match. What a view! It was a great experience as I was able to see how the players moved their feet, what they did with their bat and how they watched the bowlers. I learned quite a bit.

Had to leave before we actually won, but it was looking good around 6:15pm (there was a late start due to rain...shocker).

Met up with my old flatmate, A., for dinner downtown. We went to one of our fav's, Belgos (which I believe I've talked about in the past). Mussels and beer are a great combo!

Then headed home to see the guy. As per usual, he gave me a huge hug upon seeing me. Isn't he the best?!

I had such a great time walking around Southall and looking at bridal outfits. I forgot my camera (doh!) and my mobile phone is on a fritz, so I didn't take pictures. But there is a lot of gorgeousness going on for Indian brides.

I saw one young woman in her early 20s trying on a beautiful orange lehenga choli with LOTS of beadwork. And that's one of the potential issues with these dresses....they are frickin' heavy! Here's a few examples of things that I did see...or at least something similar:

And as you can see, these types of outfits are quite sexy! I found one online that has less beadwork, thus lighter, though I'd have to have the neck-part removed (wouldn't look so good in my opinion - you can see the full picture by clicking on the smaller one)...I may bring this pic to one of the places in Southall and see if they could make something similar...but only at a certain price.

And that's one thing I definitely was in awe about. Sticker shock is not the word. These gorgeous pieces of work were amazingly expensive. I do understand it, but I'm not willing to pay it. For a dress I'll truly wear only once, I can see paying over £1000...and in some cases, MUCH MORE. So we'll see. I know it's supposed to be a special day...but I want to also be practical.

Terror and a normal day

Happiness is not flying. I woke up this morning to find out that security alerts have gone up to their highest in both the UK and US...glad that I did all my flying earlier in the summer, glad that my old flatmate, A., arrived back in the UK on Monday and glad that I don't have any other trips to go on for a while. Yes, I could still fly, but who wants to have to check in all your baggage. I love having handbaggage, just in case my bags get lost. I love bringing water with me as I can never get enough on the flight...now even mothers bringing milk for their babies will have to drink some of it to prove that it's not an explosive. I feel like I'm back to the 9/11 time...similar restrictions.

No, today, there will be no flying. Instead I'm getting my hair done (roots done & highlights...getting old is a bitch). And after that I'm meeting A. for lunch. I'm working out with R. after he arrives home from work and then we're going out for Indian food. And hopefully going to bed early (again, that aging thing). Nothing too exciting...but necessary for body & soul.

The more fun day will be tomorrow...I'm heading to Little India to look at potential wedding outfits. I'm joining a new friend I made through an web board, who is Indian and will be a great host in this search. So not only will I be shopping, but I'll also meet a cool chick for the first time. I'll take pictures so that you can see the cool things I looked at too!

A simple life

Have you ever had to live without a fridge? I don't mean while camping or anything like that...I mean while living in a normal house or flat. Well...it's been over 3 days since our fridge packed up and let me tell you - it's NOT fun living without a fridge.

I was very sad throwing out all sorts of food. All the chutneys from Borough Market, the grape jelly specially imported from the States (they don't have it here), the cheese and all sorts of other things that I had just recently purchased in a big shop. Sigh. Having to replace all of that will cost quite a few quid...having to replace the fridge will cost even more.

So we've been shopping for a fridge freezer. And we came across a few problems. We have a built in fridge that is no longer made...and the dimensions are not like any other fridge on the market. So we're having to make do with the weird ones that we can find. And we're trying not to spend a huge amount as we plan on selling the flat in about 3 years. Several nights and daylight hours have been spent online. We finally found the 'perfect' fridge...and it's on backorder. Ugh! We have a little mini-fridge that fits a pint of milk and our butter but just barely.

I was hoping to eat more fruit and veg, but without a fridge it's a bit hard to do so. We can't cook anything that has leftovers or that needs refridgeration beforehand. It's crazy. So we're eating out a lot or doing things like making baked beans from a can (today's lunch). Sigh.

It's a comin'

So today I got my "Save the Date" cards. And they are soooo cute. I'd love to show them to you but for some reason the uploading function is not working for me today...perhaps another day!

So now comes the hard part...finding people's addresses, remembering spouse's/boyfriend's names and then addressing a gazillion of these cards. We're sending a load of them out knowing that most people will not come, especially R's family in India and a few friends here in the UK. I expect that we'll probably end up with around 75 guests, most of whom have known me since I was a baby - so an older crowd. But I'll also be surrounded by some close friends and family too.

It's so exciting (for me at least...you might be bored to tears with all this). Instead of flowers on the tables, I'm having red candles and silk rose petals...I'm not a cut flower kinda girl...hate to buy something that expensive that's going to last about 1 day. At least people can grab the candle holders and take them home, along with some rose petals if they want. I'm waiting for info from one of the DJs I'm looking at (got one bit of info) and the photographer is sending my contract by the end of the week. There are so many things to look into. And I'm kind of a research geek sort, so I'm in my mode!

But back to reality...out of someday bride mode. It's time to eat a little something before cricket training and then take off. Life is good.

Boring

I'm sore and I'm knackered*. It's not something I expected during my summer holidays (well...maybe for one reason), but it's here. The culprits? Working out pretty hard on this weekend on the cross trainer and lifting weights (I'm getting there). Playing 30 overs of cricket on the pitch - against a team that was hitting my way (or near my way) almost every over. Doing housework. Emptying the fridge-freezer as they seem to be on the fritz. Doing school work. Oy.

The cricket was fun though tiring...and kinda disappointing. For those of you who have no idea what cricket is, check out the Wikipedia description. If you'd like a more technical explaination or want to really understand the game, here's a great website that explains it all in terms that are truly understandable (I think it's an American website, which does help at times). Now, my position is called 'Deep Square Leg'. It's easiest to think of it as outfield. I have been put there because I'm relatively mobile (for my age) and have a decent arm (thank you softball catching!). Here's a picture of the pitch so you can get an idea (note they are describing all the different positions...you only have 11 on the pitch at one time):






The bowler (which I will never, ever, hope to God, be) is like the pitcher...but it's all different than baseball though somewhat similar too. I love explaining cricket...so if anyone is ever interested, I take them to a game and just help them get the general idea.

So, I played between Deep Square and Deep mid, depending on the bowler and batter. And I RAN MY TOOSH OFF. Many sprints were done during those 30 overs. Way too many for my old butt. I felt I did well though. But batting was a different story. I got bowled out and ought not to have. I have lost my touch and I'm sad about it. Hopefully training tomorrow will include a lot of batting as I NEED help!

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* Knackered - what we Americans would call extremely tired, exhausted. It's one of my favorite Brit words. Come on, you know it's great!
So, what will I do with the rest of the day? Probably a bit more school stuff, clean more of the fridge out (left a few things that I thought wouldn't go bad too quickly) and figure out dinner. Oh, the exciting life of a teacher on summer holiday.

Red skies at night...

I haven't gone out in central London in ages. So I was pleased when I got the invite to my friend Amy's birthday party. Woo hoo...a chance to get dressed up a bit and get out of NW London (not that the area isn't fun...I just like a break from it once in a while). R., in his fully approved outfit, and I got all gussied up and took off for Blackfriars station which was the easiest to get to considering our transport links. We then walked across the Milenium Bridge and turned left to get to Zakudia.

Now before I describe my evening, I have to tell you that I looked good. I was quite pleased with myself. My skirt was a lovely red rose print, topped with a red tee and black 3/4 sleeve cardi. But the best part were my shoes. Completely wrong for walking around London but so very lovely. R. was quite turned on by these gorgeous pieces of red leather that made my legs and ankles look so slim and well proportioned. There may be days where I don't feel good about my body, but if I put these shoes on, I feel all sexy and wonderful!




Zakudia is a fun bar with a great outlook. You can sit and just watch the Thames as boats float on by and the light of the ending of the day bounces off the slight waves. It's a small bar but big enough for our party. Amy was already quite "happy" by the time we got to the party, having tried out a few of their specialty martinis. The one she had in her hand looked great. It was the Miss Thames: raspberries muddled with a large measure of Stolichinaya Rasberi and topped with cranberry and apple juice. Mmmm...lovely. But I had in mind my typical summer drink, a Stoli vanil and tonic with lime. The perfect summer taste. Like a crisp cream soda. R. started off with a beer and then tried the Cappuccino Martini: a creamy blend of white chocolate liqueur Polstar vodka and Illy coffee finished with a frothy cappuccino head. It was lovely. But not something you can drink often.

We both decided to stop at two drinks after our evening from hell. He had to play cricket the next day and I just didn't want a hangover. But that didn't stop us from having fun. It was nice to see a friend I hadn't seen in ages (plus get to know her hubby a bit better) as well as make some new aquaintances. And to just get OUT.

As we walked back across the bridge, the light was just perfect for some pictures. So I took out my mobile phone and like a tourist, snapped away.



R. agreed, we have to do this much more often. Meet in town, try out a new place, taste a new restaurant and walk around town. There's a certain romance to London at dusk. And that's something that is always welcome in a relationship.

Food and fun

I've been keeping busy the rest of the week...waiting for furniture to arrive, doing a lot of research on food for our reception or places to go for our honeymoon. And I must say that I've made a boatload of progress on all fronts! We just have to get our carpet delivered (hopefully it will arrive next week) and then I'll have the fun of putting together flatpack furniture (time to get out the drill). But it's getting there. As for the wedding planning...we have come up with a menu for the evening...I'm hoping that it works for everyone. Here's the idea:

- Wedding ceremony at 6:15pm
- 7:00pm Reception begins (ceremony is at the same place)...we will have an open bar with 2 beers, a few wines and some hard alcohol plus all mixers, juices and soda for the whole 4 hours of the evening. We'll have butler-passed appetizers (Thai chili chicken, samosas, shrimp cocktail) plus have a fruit table and a cheese table.
Somewhere in here we'll have speeches and the first dance (music will be played throughout).
- 8:00pm The meal is served via buffet/stations. There won't be any set tables, so people can mingle as they like or sit where and when they want (and I won't have to be at a head table which is my idea of HELL). We'll be serving: Garden Salad Station with Rolls & Whipped Butter, Manned Sautéed Pasta Stations (2 pastas and marinara & vodka sauces), Manned Roast Beef Carving Station with miniature baguettes and appropriate sauces andChicken Curry with rice.
- 9:00pm Desert - we'll have cupcakes (love them) and a viennese desert table. At which point we'll have the cutting of the 'cake'.
- 10:00pm Snacks - we'll have baked brie and assorted crudités.

The evening ends at 11:00pm. I think 4 hours of being on display and smiling at people for pictures will be enough for me! And there's a jazz club across the street or a bar in the hotel we'll have for people if they want to continue the party...

We're going to have a DJ so that we can have all sorts of music - light jazz to start things out, the first dances, blues, 80s, 90s, etc. Anything that makes it fun to dance! And I plan to do quite a bit of it!

Now, for the honeymoon. I'm so excited. We're going to do 9 nights in St Lucia (would have done 10 but the flights won't work out). We're flying Virgin so that we can use our flying miles to upgrade ourselves. And we've found a great place which is all-inclusive but also not the typical sort of place. Looks totally romantic, with great food and a lovely bit of privacy. We'll have the time to explore the island, check out different places and most of all, get a nice bit of tan on the beach! Can't wait!!!

So now...no more planning for a bit...hoping that our save the date cards arrive soon so I can start sending them out. But relaxation is in order today...and a party tonight!

And then there's step five...

I am almost finished re-doing the second bedroom. Yes, I know, it's been a while. Or as I like to call it, a work in progress. I did the first coat on the window, the baseboards and around the doorway. I'm quite pleased. Tomorrow the second coat will be going on and then I'll be done with my painting...but not my work...

Friday we get a delivery of a variety of furniture...a futon, a wardrobe (no closets in the place like so many other UK flats), chest of drawers and bedside table. It will be flatpacked, so I'll be in charge of putting it all together. Luckily I am the queen of IKEA type furniture...will have my handy drill in hand!

And then soon after we'll get our new rug and it will all come together. A lovely extra bedroom for our guests and for when R. & I drive each other CRAZY.

I know...really exciting, eh? Here I am on vacation and all I'm up to is painting rooms and doing research for my wedding/honeymoon. But I like it - I feel like I'm getting something done. And guess what? Next week will bring...yup, get the trumpets going...school work. Thrilling. I know.