Fatty fat fat

Have you ever seen the show, "Everyone loves Raymond"? If not, it's about a sports writer who lives with his wife and 3 kids. His mom & dad, as well as brother (and sister-in-law eventually) live right in the neighborhood. Ray has a problem of saying the wrong thing to his wife. Almost every show he says something that either confuses her or makes her angry. I think it's showing a basic reality of relationships...

On Saturday night, I was getting ready for going out to a party when one of R's friends showed up. A. is a life-long friend and someone who will be part of the wedding party. I hadn't seen him in ages.

Yesterday, as we're lying around, R told me about his night. And for some unknown reason, he had to tell me that A. said that I looked like I gained weight. Yes. He really had to let me know.

Do I not already know that I've gained weight? Am I not totally unhappy that I've gained weight and done crap about it? Am I not beating myself up about the fact that I'm going to look a lot heavier in my wedding pictures than I ought to? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TELL ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!! He got me so upset. The last thing I needed to hear was that. Cause all that will be running through my mind is that people will all be looking at me thinking - yeah, she looks fat. she gained weight. couldn't even lose weight for her wedding. STUPID MAN!!

So...less than 2 weeks until the wedding and all I want to do is never eat again. But, as someone who faints if I don't eat, it won't happen. But I really would have appreciated it if he had kept this to himself. Cause I already feel enough like shit about it.