Bathing suit shopping and ego bashing

I went to the local 'mall' today. It has the requisit big stores (John Lewis, Fenwicks, Marks & Spencer) plus all the small ones. You can kinda find the same sort of things as you would in other malls in the States.

John Lewis is very similar to Macys. It has all the home stuff, clothing, makeup and the like. But definitely British - Macys certainly doesn't have a haberdashy department in most of their stores. Fenwicks is slightly more upmarket and Marks & Sparks is less (a nicer version of JC Pennys perhaps?).

Then the smaller stores, like H&M, TopShop, Body Shop, Office, etc. Yup, you can find everything.

Initially I was going to search for a bathing suit and started in John Lewis. But...I don't think it was the right store for me to do a bikini shop in. Then again, I don't think any store is right for it cause I'm not sure I'm bikini ready.

And there it is...bikini wearing. When you are heavier than you've ever been, should you wear a bikini? Or should you begin to be more European and just not care? Who will you ever see again from where you are going? Probably no one. Won't there just be tons of other people who are not fat but not small in bikinis? Probably. Maybe this is why I haven't gone on a beach vacation in years. And I don't remember the last time I was in a bikini. But maybe this is the year to do it. The last one. The last time I wear a bikini before I turn 40 (cause I probably won't be going to the beach again before that year is hit).

So - didn't buy a bikini. But I got lots of other stuff...like a kitchen scale (necessary when baking over here) and a few other bits and bobs. So I'll wait until the week before I leave. Maybe I'll have better luck. I think I'll try in Central London - bigger stores...more possibilities. Sigh.