This is it. The day I've been waiting for. Yes. The last day of work before spring break. Everyone, teachers, parents and kids, are all ready...VERY READY...for some time off.

For me, of course, this break has some extra meaning. Getting married. And so I'm looking forward to it even more.

Yesterday, my crew at work had a party for me to celebrate my upcoming marriage. They are so sweet! And the cake was wonderful!!

I wasn't ready for a party - I was wearing my most comfy clothing, had done nothing with my hair and had on not an ounce of make-up. But I didn't care, cause I had a lot of wonderful people to celebrate with. It was a huge surprise. They did well!

Tomorrow I leave for the States. Not sure when I'll have time to get on between now and after the wedding. I might, but I won't have pics until later. It's going to be an adventure. Woo hoo!

Timing

Some people lose weight before the wedding. I'm just losing sleep.

I don't know what's going on. I'm usually a calm, unflappable kind of person, but for some reason I seem to be having stress reactions to this wedding. It's nothing to do with R. I'm so happy to marry him and be with him forever, despite his bad habits. Actually, maybe because his bad habits make him very human that I want to marry him. I think the stress is more related to getting things done.

For example...last night we tried to print out the place cards. It did not work. Our printer wouldn't do it. Nope. Totally messed it up. So we're not sure what we're going to do. We may be able to do it one sheet at a time. But R. is supposed to go and buy a new pack of cards to try to redo these. I think I have to remind him soon as he's going for lunch. Better do it now.

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Back. And this may be why I'm going so crazy. Little things like that keep popping into my head. And I have to deal with them 'RIGHT NOW', cause I worry that I'll just forget all about them and something will go wrong.

Now I recognize that if I don't have them done before I leave for the States, it won't be the end of the world - I'll just be doing them late on Wednesday evening or something like that. But I'd like to have it done sooner rather than later. In this period of time, I am fighting my procrastinating instincts (actually I'm hiding the instinct to just stay in bed with my head under the duvet)...

I will be fine. I know I will. And I may try to sleep in tomorrow...as I don't have class in the morning...we'll see.

Fatty fat fat

Have you ever seen the show, "Everyone loves Raymond"? If not, it's about a sports writer who lives with his wife and 3 kids. His mom & dad, as well as brother (and sister-in-law eventually) live right in the neighborhood. Ray has a problem of saying the wrong thing to his wife. Almost every show he says something that either confuses her or makes her angry. I think it's showing a basic reality of relationships...

On Saturday night, I was getting ready for going out to a party when one of R's friends showed up. A. is a life-long friend and someone who will be part of the wedding party. I hadn't seen him in ages.

Yesterday, as we're lying around, R told me about his night. And for some unknown reason, he had to tell me that A. said that I looked like I gained weight. Yes. He really had to let me know.

Do I not already know that I've gained weight? Am I not totally unhappy that I've gained weight and done crap about it? Am I not beating myself up about the fact that I'm going to look a lot heavier in my wedding pictures than I ought to? WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU TELL ME SOMETHING LIKE THAT!!!! He got me so upset. The last thing I needed to hear was that. Cause all that will be running through my mind is that people will all be looking at me thinking - yeah, she looks fat. she gained weight. couldn't even lose weight for her wedding. STUPID MAN!!

So...less than 2 weeks until the wedding and all I want to do is never eat again. But, as someone who faints if I don't eat, it won't happen. But I really would have appreciated it if he had kept this to himself. Cause I already feel enough like shit about it.

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Greedy!

I know this is petty, and ridiculous...and crazy...but since the wedding shower so many moons ago, only 2 presents have been purchased for me off my wedding registries. And there's only 2-1/2 weeks to go. And they are online only registries, so it's not like someone could just run to the store the day before.

I know that putting something like eight knives on a registry seems kinda odd...but I really would LOVE to get some good cooks knives. The IKEA ones that R. owned work okay, but truly aren't great. I want REAL knives. And no, R. does not have to worry about his safety.

I know that I have lots of guests who don't have tons of money...but I did put some inexpensive things on my registry. In fact most items are under $25 or so.

Maybe people are just buying stuff from places like Macy's...similar to what we're looking for. But what if I get a ton of the same things cause of this? I have to travel back home two days after the wedding. Maybe people want to give us money. Which would be tough as we don't really use US dollars...guess I could take them on the honeymoon.

I know. I'm being materialistic. Getting married isn't about the gifts. But I'd like them. Kinda.

And breathe...

I suppose that all brides, irregardless of how laid back they think they'll be, end up getting stressed about something. And I've now hit that point. I'm worried about the small details. Making sure that everything gets done.

Now some of this stress has come from a very organized step-mother who wants to make certain that I haven't forgotten anything. Some of it comes from a variety of items I've ordered that seem to have gone missing.

And it's effecting my sleep and my tummy. I'm struggling to fall asleep quickly due to thoughts running through my head. I now have a notebook next to my bed to write things down. And food seems to be running through the system quickly...had to run to the loo twice this morning.

So now it's time for lists and more lists. I hope that these will calm the systems. But if not...at least it'll all be done in 3 weeks!

A vision in gold and red

I got home yesterday and relaxed for a bit. I needed the get myself into a place where I felt calm and happy. Why? I was heading to Roy's parents' house on my own.

I walked the one mile to the house and was greeted by his mom. We sat down, had some tea and just chatted a bit. Then she asked me to come up to her room and see the saris that I could choose from to wear the Sunday after the wedding (we're having a brunch in our honour).

Up we went to a room strewn with colourful outfits. There were two saris waiting for me to look out. Both had tons of gold threadwork and red; one with a larger pattern, one with something much smaller. I checked out them both in the mirror, holding up the fabric to my neck. Stunning.

We both agreed that as I could get away with the larger pattern, being a decently tallish person. So she left me as I put on the choli (top) and petticoat (which doesn't really fit, so I'll have to get a new one). I put them on and she returned to help me put on the sari, which is definitely an art.

Round and round the fabric went, folding into the petticoat. Then next came the pattern of folds, like a delicate fan, which too were tucked in, and gave an effect of gorgeous pleats to the floor. Around again and then up and over my shoulder and arm. And then it was done.

I was in a sari. And I looked so glamourous. Stunning. Gold, red, small slices of blue and yellow. I had never seen anything quite like it.

And then I was given a 22 kt gold necklace and earring to put on, a gift from my future mother-in-law to wear with the sari. And it just made the outfit, 'pop' just a little bit more.

It was a bit sad taking the sari off, as it was one of the most beautiful outfits I had ever worn before. It's definitely inspired me to want to buy one that I could wear somewhere else - maybe even to work one day.

I then hung out with my future in-laws until R. showed up, 1/2 hour late due to the train. I survived my first time alone with them. It was tough, but I think it was okay. I even talked quite a bit, which, as a trained listener, can sometimes be a struggle.

I can't wait for my wedding days to arrive...

Celebration time...come on!

Last night Roy and I (well, mainly me) were trying to pick out some special songs for our wedding. Neither of us are big music people. We don't go out and buy the latest cd or download tons of music onto i-Pods. It's amazing that I even own an MP3 player (but I refused to buy an i-Pod...I bought a Creative Zen instead).

But with the wedding coming up, I've had a renewed interest in music. What should play during the actual wedding? What should play during the cocktail portion? What would people want to dance to? Can I play some Bollywood or Banghra music?

So we've made a few decisions about music. We are NOT having the chicken dance, or electric slide, or anything cheesy like that. Okay....maybe the YMCA. But that's it. And I want a mix of 80s, oldies, swing and Indian music. It'll be interesting.

So we chose our entrance song for our bridal party & ourselves. 'Celebration' by Kool and the Gang. I thought it'd be a fun one. And I don't want anything 'special' for when we arrive. For the first dance, we chose a Frank Sinatra croon, 'Just in Time'. And for the dad-daughter dance, we're doing 'My Girl' by the Temptations. I don't think Roy wants to do a mother-son dance, but that's fine.

Right now I'm 'auditioning' songs to use during the ceremony. I want both Christian and Hindu songs...we'll see if anything fits or sounds right for it all...but I'm sure I'll find something. Right now I'm listening to a group of 3 cd's of (as they say on the cds) sublime chilled beats. The package is called Pujabi Lounge. Interesting!

I always love to hear what songs mean to different people...and when you listen to songs from your childhood or youth...what memories they do bring! I guess that's one of the fun things about weddings...not only are you celebrating a present, but also a past and a future.

Early Bird

6:20 a.m.

6:18 a.m.

6:14 a.m.

NOOOOOOOO! Not again.

I seem to be in a pattern of waking up before my alarm. Said alarm is already set for the ungodly hour of 6:30 a.m., and I seem to be waking up, fully, before it's meant to go off. And I'm not happy. I'm pooped, in fact.

I guess it's a way for my body to deal with the stressors at work and the stessors that I'm hiding from due to the wedding. I don't feel majorly stressed, but do know I have tons to do in both areas.

At least things seem to be moving on well...I just need to hear from the site coordinator at my ceremony/reception site (soon, please, soon)...I need to send a note to the bus company with our plan for the day (so that people can get picked up and dropped off)...I need to figure out Out of Town bags with information for my guests...and at work I need to do some grading and write comments as the end of the quarter is on the 20th, teach class, finish hosting our drug & alcohol educator...and more. Fun, fun!

But soon it will be spring break. We have 2-1/2 weeks to go. Not that I'll get much of a break during that week before the wedding (I'll be running around like crazy)...but I'll be in the comfort of my family home with people trying to keep me calm (and thus treating me like a princess...which I will like!). I have a massage to look forward to. I have a fun day to look forward to. I can make it. Yes. I can.

The Dress

MY DRESS IS IN! I won't get to try it on for three weeks...but Dad sent me a picture. He and my step-mom went to NJ to pick it up for me. I can't wait. Here are the pictures (according to Dad, they don't do it justice). 4 WEEKS TO GO!!!

The dress on a hanger...you get the full effect. The bottom half of the dress...we were told I'd only have 7" of decoration on the bottom but they ended up giving me 11", which is a big deal. And I'm so happy that I decided to go for the pattern going up the dress...if I had wanted to spend double the money I would have had the entire bottom covered in the pattern, but I like it being a touch more simple. Woo hoo!

The top. If it had been in the summer, I would have gone with sleeveless...but since it is happening in April (and could be a touch cold), I'm going with slight sleeves (hopefully the lifting will show off by then!). Pretty!

Modern Art

I entered into the room and was shown where to find the bibs which would protect my clothing. I had changed from my work outfit into jeans and a teeshirt so it didn't matter too much...but why not.

There was lovely soft music in the background.

I greeted the people I knew and looked forward to learning something new.

The teacher started off with a greeting and then showed us slides of modern art. We were asked to say what emotion or direction the art piece seemed to show. We had differing impressions and yet that was okay.

We were then given our materials. Those who had taken the class the first semester were given materials to cut out and glue sticks. We newbies were given charcoal, inks and a few other drawing items. And then we were given words. Returners were meant to portray movement. We were given an emotion.

How to show 'introspection' without using a face? What would convey someone looking inward?

I decided to start with a small circle near the bottom of the page. And then everything around it were swirls moving around and in toward the circle. The swirls took up most of the page. I used charcoal. Then outside the swirling mass, I placed hard, staccato marks. Sharp v's pointing toward the swirl and small circle. It was then time to use colour. The center of the small circle was green. The swirls were touched with blue. The sharp marks were a purplish-pink. To me it showed a peaceful sense in the middle, someone turning away from the cacophony of the outside world.

All the while, music was playing in the background. It was relaxing after a hard day.

We were then asked to look at each other's drawings and paper works. What was the emotion portrayed? What was the movement?

Most people didn't get mine...but once explained, it made sense. And that's how I feel about most modern works. I just don't get them. But sometimes, when explained, it does make sense. Even if I don't like them. Still.

Our next project was to draw 4 panels, showing our reaction to sound & music. It was difficult. More so than the first project. Four different songs, four different drawings. Interesting to see what the others had done.

And then class was over. But we'll return again next week. I wonder what our tasks will be. What I can learn. And if I'll feel the same sense of leaving the stress of the world behind again.

33

So the wedding of the year is going on...yes, the Liz Hurley extravaganza. And personally, I think mine will be better.

Hers is full of restrictions for the guests - you must all wear hot pink saris or red turbans. I'm letting even my bridesmaids choose what they want to wear.

My wedding will be full of family, friends and beautiful colours. Hers will be celebs and once again, just hot pink.

For her it will be all about the show. For me, the show will be fun, but it's more about spending time with people, getting married and having some fun.

Yup, I kinda feel for her in a way, cause I'm sure she feels like this is what is expected. But what a shame. Everyone in the party will be identical, the pictures won't have the vibrance and flair of the traditional Indian wedding. And while all my guests may not be wearing Indian outfits, we'll have a uniqueness that no one else can capture.

I can't wait. 33 more days or so to go. Not that I'm counting. I think it's going to be such a fun time. And there's so much to do in the coming days...this weekend is the first of my three 'hen nights' (or bachelorette parties)...then the next one is on the 23rd (good thing we have the next day off for report writing). And then it'll soon be the week of the wedding, with errand running, hair & makeup trials, parties...crazy!

Blues

I'm feeling a bit down. I try to help kids out here at the school and yet I feel ineffective at times. I'm not sure what to change.

I'm hosting a relaxation day...and yet no one comes in.

I offer girls' lunches...and yet only one person said they'd come.

I feel like I'm a caring and listening person and yet...very few come.

Not sure what it is. The adults in charge seem to think I do a good job. But maybe. Just maybe. I'm not what the school needs. I don't know.

Maybe what I'm good at is programs and teaching and that's the need of the school right now. I'll keep trying. But it's really hard to keep feeling good about yourself sometimes in this sort of job.

Maybe it's just that I'm PMSing.

I'm singing in the rain...

When you move to London, one of the things you notice quite quickly is the difference in light. Yes. Light.

In the summer, the sun is out far longer than I ever experienced. You can hang out at a cafe at 9pm, drinking a glass of white wine and still in perfect light, not an artificial one needed to see your partner in crime.

In the winter, you may get up, go to work and then leave work to go home and never see an iota of sunlight. Especially, if like me, you don't have an office with windows.

The winter lack of light can be very depressing to some. Those from sunnier parts of the US tend to really feel it. I didn't necessarily feel a lack of light too much this year as the weather was quite reasonable.

And that's the big difference, as I've talked before, of weather - when you come from Boston, you feel it's almost tropical at times...or at least it's rarely below freezing, which is NOT the case in New England.

Today was the first day that I could come out of my flat and not have to turn on the hall light in order to lock the door. There was enough light from the little window in the next door to let me see. And it made me happy. Spring is on it's way.

I left my building in sun. Glorious sun. Now being England, this was not long lasting. I was swept away by a gale force wind and stunning rain when I got off the train on my way to the tube. It was crazy. Umbrellas were being forced completely inside out. People, like me, were running to get to the tube entrance. It was crazy.

Weather. Not only will you notice it. It will become a big part of your life and conversation once you live in London.

Whining about wine

Saturday night, R & I went to a wine tasting party at a friend's flat. Each guest was asked to bring a specific type of wine with them. R brought a bottle of bordeaux and I brought a bottle of pinot grigio. We were given a glass to use and then told to taste each wine and at the end, write comments.

Now usually when you go to a wine tasting, they just give you a bit. Enough for a good taste and that's about it. But we were all scarfing down a 1/2 glass of wine per person. And when you are trying out about 10 wines, it can be quite a lot of wine. Especially if you keep drinking some after the wine tasting was over. There was dancing going on, lots of crazy laughter, a bit of red wine spillage onto a cream coloured rug (ouch)....if I had been entirely sober while there, I'm sure I would have laughed at us all and determined never to drink again. But of course that won't happen!

So we were all a bit tipsy, I'd say. And the repercussions were felt the next day. Darn tannins...they always get me! R & I had the laziest day ever - we didn't even leave the flat ONCE! Red wine, more than any other, just knocks me for a loop. And drinking that much was not the smartest idea. But at least we weren't drunk...and I wasn't unable to do anything on Sunday...just not feeling motivated to do anything (a bit of a fuzzy head would be the best explanation).

And now I'm back at work...feeling a bit worn for wear. But much better than yesterday. And have no plans to drink in the immediate future. Which is a good and wise idea. How mature am I getting?!

How to Decorate?

One more step toward completing my wedding tasks (which by the way won't be done until the wedding is actually over...unless you count 'thank you cards', which means it won't be over for at least a month or so after the wedding!)...I went on ebay and found a distributor of saris. They were hawking a bunch of 4 red saris. Just perfect, I thought, for using to decorate the mandap.

The saris are quite pretty...see below:

What I think I'll do is wrap the saris around the side poles or let them hang down in some way. And then put on some flowers around it. It should look rather purty!

I don't want to think about the stuff I have left to do. I'm putting together a list of things left to do and when I have to do them...and then putting them on a calendar. It's kinda intimidating. But I'm determined to be the 'laid back bride'...and not let it get to me. It will either happen or not. And I'll still be married. There, back to normal.

Outfits

I can't believe how soon this whole wedding thing is. 44 days. Wow. Of course I haven't lost the weight (I'm a stress eater not a stress starver like some). And I'm feeling the pressure of what's going to have to happen that week and the weeks to come. It's not going to be a vacation at all...it's gonna be busy!

I finally got my bridesmaids sorted - at least the two adult ones. They were not getting around to getting their Indian outfits, so I made a decision for them and ordered a not too pricey outfit. Here they are:

This is the maid of honor's outfit. She loves blue so I thought it would work out well with her. She can get it 'fitted' back home. It's coming from India and should be there within a few weeks (let's hope!).

This is the other adult bridesmaid's outfit. She loves green and so I thought it'd look good on her (plus having had a baby less than 5 months prior, I thought it would be quite forgiving).

My little 12 year old junior bridesmaid will have something, probably in green or blue, but not sure what as of yet. But that's okay! Knowing her mom, she'll look better than I do.

I have also gotten myself an outfit for my mehndi party. During this adventure, I'll be getting

I'm getting really excited!!

Becoming British

I don't particularly think I have much of an accent, though once in a while you'll hear something of a Londoner's lilt. I do use mainly British terms. And I like the idea of queueing. Yes...standing in a line.

I've gotten used to the idea of the queue. I like it. There is a certain elegance to this order. And I've now found that I get angry if people don't follow along with queueing.

Paris was definitely one place where people do NOT queue. It's sort of a free for all...push your way onto the metro, push your way off. Waiting is not an option. It's a bit crazy. And very European.

This morning, on my way to getting on the elevator in the tube, there was a crowd gathering in a queue. Most people were doing it right, getting into the appropriate place...but one woman decided she needed to go ahead of me even though I got there earlier. And it pissed me off. Who is she to jump the queue? Doesn't she know that this is the way society works?

It kinda shocked me that I feel this way. R. would be happy because it's just another sign that I'm becoming more and more British. Sigh. But I guess as I'm going to be living here for life, I might as well get used to it.

Paris '07

Below is a slideshow of my trip to Paris.

We left England in the evening, on the Eurostar. It's so easy compared to flying. We arrived at our hotel around 10:30pm and went out to find something to eat...we were really quite hungry as we hadn't had dinner. We walked a bit too much, but it was nice that we could find a place to eat so late in the evening. Poor R was pooped once we returned to our hotel, Royale Magda Etoile, as he was still sick and suffering from shingles.

The next morning we went in search of food and coffee (France is a great place for good coffee!). We found our coffee (une cafe s'il vous plait), but had a tough time getting food. And then found the boulangerie...aka, bakery! Pain du chocolat is lovely. R had never had such good bread products. We were happy!

The day was basically all about going to the Eiffel Tower. We found our way there, waited in the line and then went up, waited in more lines...but it was great. The view was amazing and pics were fun to take. I've posted a few pics, but not all of them. R took a ton.

We had dinner reservations at Le Train Bleu. It is an amazing restaurant set in the Gare de Lyon train station. You felt like you were going back in time there. The paintings, sculptures, etc. were wonderful and breath-taking. And the food was very good too. Had one of the best steaks of my life there. And of course...wine.

The following day we had plans to meet up with my friend, A. and her mom (who was visiting from the States). We went to the Latin Quarter for lunch and to purchse tons of wine. Yummy! I think R & I picked up about 8 bottles, 2 for his parents and the rest for us. We got to taste all the wines we chose, and they were much less expensive than buying in London.

We then went on a boat trip on the Seine. It was warm (no jackets while the sun was out), sunny and with the three of us in a small space...funny!

Our final meal was seafood. Mmmmm. I had oysters on the half shell. Probably the most fresh oysters I've ever had. R had a shrimp risotto. It was amazingly rich. And we decided to go with beer this time as we had been drinking our share of wine...plus seafood just felt right with beer.

We had a relaxing last morning and breakfast at the hotel (it was okay...not great...just okay) and then off to the Eurostar to head home. We didn't do a huge amount, but it was relaxing. Just what the doctor ordered!

Paris Slideshow